Smell My Fingers

Thunderbirds are Ho… Mo

2006-08-09T22:12:00.000+01:00

Hello! I know, it’s been a while, eh? That’s because… I’ve been on holiday (or something), road trippin’ it around the UK. I know, mad, huh? Here’s my holiday diary. I promise it won’t be boring and/or tedious, and/or too long.

Wednesday 26th of July

Set off from Chelmsford! We stopped off in Bath for lunch (I don’t remember where, though, sorry). But we reached our final destination at about 4pm. Caerphilly, Wales. We stayed in a scraggly 2 star bugger of a hotel. The lady who owned it was being turfed out in six weeks or something, so she had stopped caring and stuff. It was alright, though, I guess. A room. Except we were right at the front, on the main road. Every time a car went past, our door shook. But the woman who owned it was pleasant. She was very fake tanny (or tanned?) and was this odd shade of ochre. Mmm. Doesn’t matter much, though. We were only there for a night. And we went out for dinner in the pub (The Friendly Fox, I think. It was shit, but the name suggested it’d be fun). And afterwards Tom an I went for a walk around Caerphilly. We say the Castle, which was actually amazingly beautiful. It was about 10.30 pm or something and it was all lit up with spotlights. I’ll try and upload a picture at a later date. Then we walked around this Welsh chav estate. That was fun. Tom got all scared and stuff, it was like, these people aren’t going to hurt you! 8-)

Thursday 27th of July

Set off to Betws-Y-Coed, Wales. We stayed in a three star guest house place, which was alright. This place wasn’t anything special, really. A bit dull, but the guest house was nice. We were right at the top of the place, on the top floor. And we plays Super Mario on the SNES here.

Friday 28th of July

Off to Keswick, in the Lake District. We stayed here for two nights. The hotel was four star. Quite posh. They had Mint Imperials in a bowl on reception. It’s safe to say we demolished a few bowls of them. It was pleasant here, really. We were near to the town, so we walked into town for dinner and such. And the second day we went to town to go shopping. It was nice. Quite small and touristy. Tom wasn’t pleased because, I guess, he goes on holiday to go to all the shops he can go to in Chelmsford or Bluewater. But I liked it. It wasn’t Chelmsford or Bluewater. It was nice.

Sunday 30th of July

Glasgow here we… came. For three nights. I really, really liked Glasgow. It was, essentially, just a bigger version of Chelmsford. A couple more Starbucks, basically, which is fin by me. And it had an underground system, which was handy. And they had a special Indie electro-pop club night on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is right up my street, except when we went there they were playing fucking Razorshite and they’re new barf ‘In the Morning’ (essentially old barf, now. I think their new barf is ‘America’, which is still barf. In fact, their album is barf, except for two tracks. What a let down after Up all night). But yeah. I loved it here. Tom seemed to as well, mainly because he could go shopping in practically the exact same shops he can in Chelmsford, or Bluewater, or London. Because that’s what we travelled all that distance for… But I’m so sure now that I’d love to move there. It was like, perfect for me. And the accent is the fucking nads. The hotel was cool, too. They had mints, but they weren’t imperial. However, we ate a reasonable amount of them. I bought a bear here, from the Rangers (football club) shop. It’s blue! We named it Barry ‘Scott’ Ferguson after Barry Scott (Cilit Bang!) and Barry Ferguson (Rangers player), who I believe could possibly be the same person.

Wednesday 2nd of August

Off to the Loch Ness. We stayed at the bottom of the Loch, which was cool. The day after we arrived (the next day…) we went for a boat trip up the Loch, which was alright, except it was cold. And then we drove up to this castle that’s on the Loch, but this bored me. I’m not a castle fan. The only castle I seem to have ever found acceptable was this one in Caerphilly. But this one was just ruins, and it was quite boring. I bought a quill, though. I used to have a quill, but it broke, so I’ve now replaced it with a pink one. And I bought a pot of ink. I don’t plan to write a novel with it or anything, but it’s handy to have ink with a quill, surely. I also bought a bear who’s wearing a kilt, with a little sporran. I call him Scottie. I know, how original 8-).

Friday 4th of August

Set off to Edinburgh. The hotel we stayed in was my favourite. It deserved to be more than the three stars it was. It was fantastic. The place itself I guess was pretty average, but the people who owned it were lovely, and it was so homely, which is probably quite hard to do as it was practically a mansion. Edinburgh town was alright. It was like London, but without the underground system, so it was a bit confusing to get around. But they had quite a pleasant Italian buffet place which made very nice sage carrots and courgettes. Fucking vegetarian that I am, I couldn’t eat the spag bol. I didn’t have any pasta, actually, as I’m not a huge fan, but I love spaghetti, but they didn’t have anything I could eat, or that I liked. You know me, I’m fussy.

Sunday 5th of August

We set off to Hartlepool. I know. How random. It was really odd there, actually. It was a bit like a deserted seaside town. I thought it’d be inland, so I was a bit disappointed when I saw the sea (I generally hate seaside towns, except Brighton, obviously). And I also imagined it’d be busier. I know it was a Sunday, but it was still pretty grim. The restaurant we ate in was alright, though. I had mushrooms stuffed with stilton and apple. Nice. And apple crumble and custard for dessert. Mmm. My favourite.

Monday 6th of August.

We set off the Skegness. Butlins, Skegness, none the less. Tom wasn’t pleased about going to Butlins. Neither was Nan. I was excited though. I mean, if we’re going to go to some shite hole like Skegness, why not do something novel with the day and spend the time at Butlins. There were so many chavs. It was quite amusing. It kind of says something about the concordance rates between lower middle class England and chavs/hooligans. But it was cool. Obviously it was cheap and quite shitty, but it was cool. I had fun, laughing at the chavs. I’m not saying it’s right to laugh at chavs, because it’s not. But I mean, typical chavs, with their… chaviness. It’s hard not to, really. Just as I’m sure they laugh at ‘alternative people’.

Tuesday 7th of August

HOME!

So that was our trip to Scotland. It was cool. As I said, I loved Glasgow, and I’ll go back there for another holiday, if not to live their for a while. I’m actually really knackered still, even though I slept so well last night, back in my own bed. I just need some more relaxing time. It’s Nan’s birthday tomorrow, so tomorrow morning I’m going to go off to Tescos to buy some flowers and a card. And I’m cooking dinner tomorrow night, too.

So yeah, that’s all I can really say. Goodnight, god bless, peace out.

xxx

Dastardly Dictatorships

2006-07-11T15:21:00.000+01:00

Oh my gosh!

So hello. I've been desperate to write this entry for a couple days now, since I read a certain article, but everytime I got the chance I'd be called away.

So yeah, my favourite director, you know the guy, Chris Cunningham, genius behind such video's as Aphex Twin's Windowlicker and Come To Daddy, Squarepusher's Come On My Selector, Leftfield's Afrika Shox, Bjork's All is Full Of Love, amognst others, has a nw fucken video!

The previously mentioned article I'm talking about is the teeny weeny piece on NME's News page of the 8th July issue which states the new video, for The Horrors - Sheena Is A Parasite, has been deemed unsuitable for TV. ALthough, on a slightly funnier side, Chris apparently came down with a bit of an illness after working with rotting squid for the video.

Starring in the video is Samantha Morton (Minority Report) and the still from the magazine is quite strangely similar to the good ol' Rubber Johnny stills from the book. No surprises there then, I'm pretty sure that Rubber Johnny was done with similar dead meat items.

There are, luckily, a number of places on t'internet to get a hold of the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZMrwZItOGE

Good ol' YouTube. The song's quite good. And I'm glad it's on t'internet.

In lighter news, we have family staying. They came from America (you know the one) and are here until Thursday. I hear we're going t'pub in a bit. It's a shite hole pub, our local, but I guess it'll do. I was bought a t-shirt. Miami Heat. NBA shirt. How class.

Goodbye. xxx

Tom Fancies Roque Santa Cruz Giggles

2006-07-04T21:15:00.000+01:00

Well I was mid-post writing for this wondrous blogspot t’other day and my whole entire computer just decided to turn off, so I’ve decided, as a precaution, to write up my entries on Microsoft Word, so if my computer decides to do it again I’ll have a time saved version as back up, because Microsoft does that generally wondrous time save thing which I wish a few other programs would do.

Anyway. Hello, my name is Donna. I’m a world famous athlete and mother of seven children. I am currently eating a platter of lobster with my toes because, obvious, I’m typing and rearing half Persian monkeys with my hands. I’m a very busy worker.

*giggles* Ruckus over at the Mother and Baby home opposite us is taking place right now. Some man just screamed from the front garden at the mother of his child who threw something out the window at him. Crazy. There’s always fights over there in the summer. I love being so close to chavs in a way that allows me to monitor them for personal gain.

On another note, it’s quite warm out. My Weather Watcher program on my pc says that Chelmsford is currently a sunny 23 degrees. I’d have to disagree and say it was closer to 28, but in actual fact I’m quite cool. It’s strange. Normally I hate the summer and will do anything to avoid it’s dark and mysterious ways, but this year I’m all for it, baby.

In local news, Muffin was rushed to hospital last week for an emergency fingerectomy. No, I have no idea what I’ve been taking, but it’s good stuff. Want some? Anyway, part of that was true. Muffin (my cat) was taken to the vet last week for her grumbly belly. It seriously sounds like she’s trying to digest a steel moose. Not pleasant. And it vibrates the bed, which is most undesirable, honest.

So she’s on pills at the moment. Test came back and said she had a possible infection, but her grumbles haven’t got much better and she’s halfway through the dose. I’m glad I don’t have to give her that probiotic stuff anymore. It looked like cement, was gritty and smelt like shite. I’m not surprised she spat it out all over my floor, although my lack of surprise doesn’t make up for my *opposite of lack* disgust.

On a lighter note, my hair looks FUCKEN FANTASTIC today. No fucken joke. I don’t know how I did it, but it looks so amazing. It’s just one of those days. Shame I’m stuck inside with hayfever. I can barely breathe when I wake up in the morning, and it just gets progressively worse throughout the day, more so if I’m outside though. And then by about 6pm it’s all gone and I’m breathing like a trooper again. That is, of course, if troopers breath well. I don’t know. Maybe they troop so much that they become out of breath, in which case I don’t breathe like a trooper, I breathe more like an otter.

Here is a little list of the music that has been keeping me going the past couple weeks

Cibelle – London, London (Ft. Devendra Banhart) – I fucken love that Devendra. He’s a fucken class act. This track is just so amazing. And if you get the chance, check out the video. He dances in a top hat and tails. It’s amazing. I love his hair.
The Automatic – Monster – I’m really liking the Automatic. Raoul was like fucking magic from the second I heard it, and Monster was the same.
Muse – Supermassive Black Hole – I cannot believe I’m back into Muse. After ages of not listening because they were so overplayed and I was so bored of them. But this track is magic, as is Map of the Problematique from their new album. Score, Muse, seriously.
Justice vs. Simian – We Are Your Friends – Do not do a Tom and name it Simian – We Are Your Friends (Vs. Justice) because it looks revolting and is not what’s it’s fucken called. It is a good track, though. Loved it from the second I heard it. The video makes me laugh because it reminds me of having a hangover.
The Boy Least Likely To – Hugging My Grudge/Fur soft As Fur – Two amazing tracks from their album “the Best Party Ever”, and I know they’re like, last years news, but I find their songs magical and I just want to love them for years to come.
Brakes – All Night Disco Party (FC Kahuna Remix) – I love this song, the accents make me cry. It’s such a classy little ditty. Mainly because with them it’s just a ‘Non-stop uber rockin’ disco party!’ The album is good, too.
The Libertines – Campaign of Hate – Such a ferociously class track. Lyrics are sound.
Dirty Pretty Things – Deadwood – Nuff said

I’ve been listening to a huge excess of R.E.M. and Björk as of late. It’s been ages since I’ve listened to so much R.E.M. but I’m back in love with old Stipey.

Things I’m excited about for the near future? Incubus’s new album out later this year! Justin Timberlake, too. Going to see Pirates of the Caribbean with Rachel, sister of Rachel and anonymous others. Surprise party for George. Holiday to Scotland (some holiday! However, it is fucken Scotland). Exam results (either 17th or 18th of August). Henna! Sometimes I wish it was a little more permanent than, like, 10 days. Tom promised we could go to V in ’07. Camping, too. There’s still tickets for Chelmsford but he’s too ‘poor’ to go. Lazy bastard. It’s only £120. He’d earn £140 between now and then working! That’s like, £20 to spend in Scotland. Cheap bastard. Butters cheap bastard.

My printer’s making weird noises. I don’t get it. It’s been broken for ages and today it’s making noises at me.

Anyway, I shall be off. Update soon, luvvies!

Donna xxx

Lily Allen makes AVERAGE music.

2006-06-14T16:22:00.000+01:00

I was quite unimpressed when I read Lily Allen's MySpace blog entry. I understand that everyone is allowed an opinion, and maybe Carl Barat wasn't being too overly enthused about meeting her, but in all fairness, i don't think I'd be.

"Carl Barat is obviously convinced he is God or something ,though the other two guys ( who werent in the Libertines) seemed alright . Carl didn't make eye contact with anyone , not that I could see anyway ( and they have ORGANIC sliced bread on the rider ) . Klaxons were the only people who were likeable and there music is actually something to write home about , unlike the other two . Boys your regurgitated indie rock days are numbered so get over yourselves."

First point at hand, eh? What does organic sliced bread have to do with shit?

Secondly, who is she to criticise Carl? Some bird who's released ONE track, who's album has a grand total of 5 alright tracks, and the rest is utter gobshite? No, I'm sorry, Lily, you ain't all that.

I'll admit, since I got her album (downloaded for free, god knows I wouldn't waste my money...) I've listened a couple times. Tom kept saying about how it improves the more you listen, and at first hear, I liked two songs on it, that's now increased to five, but I can't see it getting better.

Regurgitated indie rock? The Libs made Indie a big thing. They inspired a bout of new Indie bands to come out of the woodwork (Although, some should probably crawl back in). In my humble opinion, The Libertines are fucking Gods. I don't agree with Pete's drug abuse, and whatnot, but I believe if people stopped caring about what he was doing and let him get on with it, he'd be dead within the year and nobody will have to worry anymore. Shame, it has been a waste of talent.

Anyway, enough of Lily.

I've got a fuckin' psychology exam in a weeks time. I've got loads of revision left to do, but I did quite a bit today. Schizophrenia. My best topic this term. I love the Dopamine Hypothesis. Fuckin' turns me on.

Oh, and if you care, Tom's got a little side project at the moment. He's become a singer (Albeit, a bit of a shite one)

www.myspace.com/thomfuller

He wrote a song about me, but in all fairness I've gone off it rapidly as it's sung to Lily Allen's backing track to Smile. She just keeps coming back to haunt me... but give it a listen. My plays are curently in the lead. And it's a song about my 'love' for O-Town. Of course, it's less of a love, more of a obsession. I feel a little twattish now for slating Lily, and then admitting I'm an O-Town obsessive. Of course, though, I realise O-Town suck. They're just so shit that they are fun. And watching them dance is like... agonisingly funny.

But lily sucks.

Carl quite blatantly just oozes talent and charisma and gorgeousness.

I've had enough. I'm going to go listen to the Libs.

xxx

'Cos you see I'm on a losing streak, I can't get no, no no no.

2006-06-04T11:39:00.000+01:00

Well hello there. I do hope this entry won't be as depressing as the last (I lie, it's only really depressing for ME, as it was my stupid computer).

So my PC is running, at least. And I'm slowly getting my music back. I had 7000 and something songs on iTunes, and now I have 2536, with about 10 CD's left to go. So I'm getting there. And Tom let me steal about 50% of his stremload inbox, so I've got some stuff from there to go on, too. It's mainly singles and stuff (Some Infernal, a little Chicane, Razorlight, shite like that) and a couple of albums (Sufjan's newie, Fatboy's greatest hits, ¡Forward, Russia!, that sort of thing) but I still have all my rarer music which is difficult to get hold of, and too expensive to actually buy :O

Speaking of expensive, The Pillow Book on dvd from amazon :O:O! £24.99 used and new. I mean, used and new! £24.99. And apparently it doesn't look as good on DVD as it does on video. I dunno, I haven't seen the video in a long time. So I ordered it from play.com instead, £7.99. That's this weeks pocket money gone. I know, I get £30, but I spent the rest on a new pair of vans. They're brown. We went to Freeport, and Nan gave me £20 which I spent in Body Shop on Make-up. I know, dreadful, but it's sparkly make-up, and that makes it all better!

I don't like how slow my PC runs when I'm importing a CD. I can't listen to music, because it skips and jumps, so I have to use my iPod and plug it into my speakers. Even just typing is difficult, because the words are jumping. Sometimes I think technology is too much.

On a lighter note, Sobek was drinking water from a straw yesterday. Not like, sucking it, but I got some water in the straw and he drank it from the bottom. How cute! He can't sit on my face anymore. That moment has passed. He's the size of a Range Rover now. That'd hurt. And I just realised I typed He. He's a girl! She. I meant she. I'd go back and change it, but I'm importing a CD!

You know what is a pain? I can't use my printer! The stupid software is missing, so I'm screwed, really. Stupid HP. Why didn't they give me 2 CD's? I mean, it is me. I do lose everything. Which reminds me, I lost one of my earring yesterday, I should look for that...

Hmm, ok, I'm gonna go now. I really need to find that earring. It's a pearly one. And I don't want it closing up. I left my right helix out for like, 6 months, and now there's no hole there :( I know, 6 months is a long time, but I kept forgetting to put it back in. So now I have a chain and cuff, so it looks like it's pierced, but it's not. Sad, I know.

Anyway, bye bye

xxx

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

2006-05-28T22:13:00.000+01:00

Something dreadful has happened! Ok, so it's not dreadful, but it's pretty life changing. No, I'm not dead, incase you were wondering.

For some unknown reason, all of a sudden, Windows stopped working. It just stopped. I kept getting this message, something like 'Windows hates your guts and has decided that it shall not run for you anymore', and so I was like, bugger. No, really the message was something about activating Windows via Microsoft (or Microsoft via Windows). Which is all fine, except when I would push OK, it would just lead me to a blank screen and do absolutely fuck-bastard nothing.

So today I was informed that the only was to make everything better is to start again. So I started again. I reset windows back to it's 'purchase state' and have spent the rest of the day downloading stuff like AVG and Adaware and bollocks like that. Oh, and downloading the missing component which actually makes uninstalling Norton POSSIBLE.

My only major problems now are;
1. All my music is gone. My 40gb of music is GONE! I haven't installed iTunes again yet, mainly because I despise it, but also because my CD collection is way too daunting.
2. All of my photos are gone. I mean, I didn't have anything that brilliantly special, but at the same time, I did. I had certain memories from school days gone awry. School days that aren't here anymore, because school finished like, two weeks ago. Boo! Hiss! Bugger!
3. All my poems are gone! Robyn has a copy, but I think she's the only one. I may have a half copy in my room somewhere, but that's not a promise. Also, with my poems have gone my few short stories that I wrote. A couple I put up on DA, same as a couple poems, but not all of them. Not enough.

I think they're the only things that were really important to me that I lost. I lost all my school work, which is really annoying, but not critical, that is as long as Mr. Wadwell doesn't lose my contextual stuff again. Which I doubt, I've already had to take one trip into school to give it to him. I did have a load of revision notes, but their not irreplaceable, and I've got ages until my exam anyway.

So yeah, I'm a little bit annoyed by this. I mean, apparently it was going to happen anyway. I left a message on a Microsoft forum and someone replied telling me to start it in safe mode, because obviously I hadn't tried that already *rolls eyes*, Jesus christ.

In more positive news, I have a four pack of KitKat chunky's with peanut butter. Oh, and Robyn's second prom was wicked. Rachel got very sick (all over Robyn's sofa) and had to leave early, and Robyn told me (whilst drunk) that she was going to hospital. This was my train of thought after being told this news.
"Haha, Rachel's going to hospital! It would be so funny if she died. No, Donna. No. It wouldn't be funny if she died. Oh my God, Rachel's dead!"
And then I started crying, but it was weak and feeble crying because after I'd started, I forgot why I was upset and just sort of stopped, whilst Robyn was trying to tell me that Rachel would be fine. Then I ate some bread.

I blame the drink Rachel made. She made one for me, then one for her. It's a Southern States, and when made properly can leave you headbanging 'til the early hours, but when made Rachel's way... well. It should have a shot of Jack Daniels, a shot of Jim Beam, a shot of Southern comfort, then be topped up with orange juice (at least 3 shots worth). It's safe to say Rachel put two-three shots of each alcohol in there, then put a good 1/5 of a shot of orange juice in. Now, I can't take my alcohol as well as I could do, and apparently neither can Rachel. Let's just say, I made it to the toilet (with a little of Tom's help) before I threw up.

And no, I don't drink to get to that stage. I'd had some wine before the devilish cocktail, and had every intension of stopping until Rachel handed me a glass and told me to drink. And no, I'm not stupid, I could taste that it was practically pure alcohol. I don't know why I drank it, because I didn't go there to get drunk. I wanted a little wine, and that to be all. But hey, the food was good, the drinks were flowing, so why not?

Paul leant me some books the other week. An Alex Garland book called The Tesseract. I've read two others of his books, The Beach and Coma (both were good, and The Beach the movie was good too, but I'm possibly the only person in the world that thinks that), apparently The Tesseract isn't as good as The Beach, and I liked Coma because it had illustrations. Also he leant me Powder by Kevin Sampson, that one, Paul says, I will enjoy, so fingers crossed. I'm just finishing a book on celtic mythology at the moment. Exciting, huh?

So yeah, I'm gonna go now. I've had my rant about my computer, and I've chatted about books. What more can one entry ask for, eh? And I need to order a Next Directory from their website before I forget.

TTFN

Love Donna
xxx

Na Na Na Na Naaaa

2006-05-19T10:51:00.000+01:00

Hello!

I'm in a seriously weirdly hypercative mood and I don't know where it's come from.

Oooh, guess what? I had a weird dream last night. Rachel and I were wereleopards (go lycanthropy!) and we were saving the world from an evil wererat. That's quite strange. It was set at school and we were sort of strutting around as half leopard/half man people solving mysteries. I should write a book. What's that you say? I've written a book? You're correct, I have.

Oooh, and on a lighter note, I found my rhyming short story contents page, so I can start writing my 'The Dangers Of...' series, and when I say start, I mean finish, because obviously I've written some already. and I found one t'other day, and I thought, heh, what was I thinking? That's DREADFUL. It wasn't even FUNNY! What are short stories when they aren't humorous? Crap, that's what.

So yeah, schools finished now, and I started off this week really good, I was very busy, had loads to do, and then slowly I got lazier and spent most of yesterday in bed reading my book. I'm reading two books at the moment. A Phillipa Gregory called Virgin Earth which is Rachel's Mums and I should return it, really. And I'm also reading The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot which I started a while ago, but put it down because we went on holiday, then I never picked it up again. I know what you're thinking, that's too smart a book for me to read, the girl who likes to read simple fiction like 'When Bobby Learned the Alphabet'* and 'How Cats got their Tails'* but it's interesting, and it's got some psychologically type stuff in it, and for those of you who don't know, I did psychology, so I'm not a total dunce.

I really can't get this dream out of my mind. I should write a book about lycanthropy and saving the world. Because, obviously, the police won't mind magical, mystical, folklorish creatures doing their jobs and getting their praise. Or maybe it could be that they hate the Werecreatures and are out to get them, too. So not only do these wonderous Wereleopards have to save the world whilst falling in love with Werefoxes (they've got the coolest tails!) they're on the run from the police and have to live underground. Oooh, I could include some Faeries and Pixies and Werebutterflies. Oh, and obviously I'd have to include Werewolves in there somewhere (the least cool of all lycanthropes) and obviously the book would be accompanied by amazing pictures. Oh, and their has to be lots of evil Weretigers and Wererats because they're the only ones that would look really cool decked out with HUGE Machete's and Uzi's. And their human forms would have to be likeable characters. Like Mel B and PJ Harvey, except I'm pretty sure good ol' PJ wouldn't like Mel B very much. She's not very rock n roll, is she?

I'm going to shut up now.

So yeah, I'm thinking that might be just about enough of my mumbles of crap. I'll update again soooooooon.

Love Donna.
xxx

* These books are a work of fiction. I have invented the titles randomly from the top of my head. If they are already publish, then bugger, but if they aren't they are copyright to ME. I should write Childrens books. I mean, books suitable for five year olds, not written in the style of a five year old.

Trumpet - Strumpet - Pump it!

2006-05-12T20:11:00.000+01:00

Whoot. So yesterday was our prom. Yeah, I know, finally.

It was quite a random affair (well... Not really). It all started on Wednesday, really, when I had my hair cut and coloured lots of magical colours. It looked pretty cool, if I do say so myself, the only thing is that it is a good 3 1/2 inches shorter than it was, if not a tad more.

SO then on Thursday, at roughly 4.30 I hovered over to Rachel's house for our make-up lady thing. She did my make up first. It was pink! I know! Pink! And I wore hardly any eye liner. I know! How unlike me!

Then Robyn had hers done, then Rachel. Then we all got dressed up! Hardcore! I had a weird dress. It was like, stripes of materials and stuff. I dunno. I looked sexeh, though. Rachel had a black 'bondage' dress (according to Robyn) and Robyn wore her really lovely christmas feast dress.

We had a turquoise-blueish Rolls Royce. It looked cool with our dresses. So then we drove to the Fennes. It was about 30 minutes or so, maybe 45 I don't remember hugely.

Then we were there. Everyone was dressed really cool. Very smart. The place looked really nice. The grounds were very pretty, and so was the building itself. We had our photos taken (Rachel, Robyn and I had one together) by a professional photographer. He took two photos, but we only got one back :( It's a shame, I was blowing kisses in the other picture. I think I did that alot.

The food was a bit... shite. The started Rachel and I asked for (Ceaser salad without chicken... i.e. salad) was apparently impossible to do, even though we were told it'd be fine. So we ended up being given the melon :( which we had to wait an age for. And then the mains. We asked if there was an alternative to pasta, but were told that there probably wasn't. But there was! It was like ratatouille on puff pastry. I have to be in the mood for pastry, and unfortunately I wasn't in the mood for it, but it was quite pleasant. It came with potatoes which were really really good, but the other vegetables on the side were practically cold (as was the pastry thing). Then the pud was profiteroles (sp?). I'm not a huge fan of them, really, and as I said I wasn't in the mood for pastry. There was only three. And then like, a plop of cream in the middle, i suppose to bulk it out. Tom ate three plates of them. I had one, but I only really ate it because I was hungry.

Then we danced the night away to such classics as Grease Lightning, I've Had The Time Of My Life, and American Idiot... Yeah, you get my sarcasm.

Then it was home time at 12ish. We got to Robyn's and opened a bottle of champagne and ate some random food that we found in the cupboards (a weird raspberry, low-fat cakey bar thing) and drank bucks-fizz! I hate champagne. Tastes like cat piss... because we all know what that tastes like.

And today we had our leavers assembly. It wasn't that exciting, really. Just the usual 'Good luck with your future' speeches, which are a bit... blah.

And we went shopping today. I bought The Cult - The Singles 1984 - 1995. I've got two of The Cult's albums. Cool band.

When I got home I found out that all my little kitties had missed me, especially Emmie, who's been clinging to me so much since her operation. She ignored me for about 5 minutes, then she decided she wasn't getting any love that way, and came down as if to say 'Where were you? Did you not know that I was here? Did you forget to take me out with you?' Bless.

Oh, t'other day I spilt nail varnish on my keyboard. She is not happy! I tried to remove it, but it really failed miserably. I mean, it doesn't not work, it just looks messy. So I may get a new one, even though this one is only a couple months old.

Also, when I get my phone to upload the pictures from the prom, I'll post them here. Also, I'll scan our professional one, because it's quite nice, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, I'm knackered. I got three hours sleep last night, so I'll sleep damn well tonight, no doubt.

Speak to you soon, lovies!

Donna
xxx

I want it all or nothing at all!

2006-05-08T17:29:00.000+01:00

I'm so obsessed with O-Town. They're so DAMN cool.

So today we went t'pub. I had a large glass of wine and two rum and cokes. The bar lady's measurements are huge, so it was a strong rum and coke. We also had jacket potato skins and chocolate pudding (which tom and I shared) with custard!

I handed in my creative problem unit for art today. I'm just typing up my contextual part, which Wadders said he wanted by Thursday at the latest, but I'm giong to try for tomorrow.

I'm dead sleepy now, thanks to t'alcomahol. Tom was drunk... I'm joking. He only had one drink.

speaking of tom, he came over this afternoon and was playing with my cotton wool balls (not like, balls of cotton wool, but my cottony, wooly balls) and this is what he did...

Yes, I know. But it's quite funny, really,. isn't it?

Anyway, I'm off now to watch my new O-Town video for All Or Nothing where the guy who gets really into it in Liquid Dreams takes a back seat, but sings the last two lines of the second verse where it says something about Show and Tell.

Bye bye
xxx

Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven. Fucking in heaven. Fucking in heaven.

2006-04-30T16:17:00.000+01:00

Today has been a pretty uneventful day. I’ve done… nothing. Oh, and I’ve done it in my prom heels, because I need to get used to them, or some shit. They’re pink satiny things. Very posh. Very uncomfortable. Very much squeezing the living death out of my toes whilst I wonder around the house, looking for scraps of veg to feed my lizard.

Yesterday was similar, but without the heels.

George told me the other day that I HAD to see at least the first half of Date Movie, because it’s ‘funny’, and that is apparently the funniest part. I have now seen the first 35 minutes of it, and if I’d paid money to see that in the cinema, I’d have walked out and demanded it back. It was shite. Stupidly unfunny and predictable.

But I did watch something good today. Mars Attacks! It’s been a while, but I love that film.

And also I watched some old Bill Bailey stuff I had on video. I like Bill Bailey. Funny old hairy man.

‘Ok you got 48 hours to do some crime related stuff and then your ass is in a sling all right? And my ass is similarly in a catapult type devise. I’ve got the DA on my back, He’s chewing away on the back of my neck there, nibbling away at the back of my legs. He’s got the Mayor nibbling away at his ass, chewing his face of with… big chewing things. And he’s got the senator riding the back of a giant slug, and the slug’s nibbling away at the Mayor’s ass, who’s screaming out in pain, and lighting a fire under the DA’s ass, and the DA’s lighting a fire under my ass, which is great, ‘cos it’ll burn the sling away, so temporarily I’m off the hook, but after that you my friend, your ass will be put into a giant sling shot type devise and hurled into space. It’ll be like Haley’s comet orbiting the earth, you’ll see your ass once every 76 years. You get one chance of a shit every 76 years, and if you don’t take it, your whole body fills up with shit and faecal products and then shit will fly out of your eyes and you’ll die.’

See, funny!

So yeah. I’ve got to put my computer desk together tomorrow. I swore I would. It’s been sitting out in the garage in pieces for… weeks now. I don’t want Nana to do it ‘cos she’ll make a hash of it, and I do need one, ‘cos this one is wank and broken, and I need to prop the Keyboard draw thing up on my knees, because it doesn’t push in anymore.

Ha-ha, these shoes make my feet look minute! Crazy. My feet are small as it is.

I’m Listening to MC Solaar. He’s a French Rapper. Mental, eh? I like this track;
‘La Belle Et La Bad Boy’
I hate rap music, but French music always has a good beat to it, like Air, Daft Punk, KYO and Stereo Total, and this has that beat there, and it’s French, which is mental.

Morrissey is class.

I don’t know what else to say. I’ll be going now, ‘cos I’m feeling sick to me ‘ead, innit.

Bye Bye
xxx

You've got a personality, yeah, just like a bucket full of pee. How does it feel to be real, Asshole?

2006-04-22T08:19:00.000+01:00

Ok. It's 8.19 am on a Saturday. what is wrong with me? Why am I awake? More to the point, why did I wake up at 5.40? My head is killing me.

So I figured I'll come and write a little entry to pass some time before I have to go to work on my Art. And because words aren't as fun as pictures, this'll be yet another photo entry, beause I like them the best!

This is my companion for this entry, Emmie. If you click on it and get the bigger image, you can see my clock (blue cube thing) reads 8.10. Yes, 8.10 am on a Saturday morning. Emmie is a bit of a chav. She hates my music, and after this photo was taken, she turned away from me in dusgust because I turned my music back on. The last ten songs I listened to were...
1) Vietnamese Baby - New York Dolls
2) Kringle - Jack Off Jill
3) Asshole - Gene Simmons
4) Dress - PJ Harvey
5) Subject To Change - The Faith
6) Lava Twilight - InMe
7) I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
8) Gluey Porch Treatment - The Melvins
9) Molly's Lips - The Vaselines
10) I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco

I don't know why I'm not more ashamed by numbers 6, 7 and 10. Oh, and number 3. iTunes is on shuffle, and weirdly, is playing all the songs that remind me of two summers ago, playing N64 all day, listening to InMe, Atreyu and my mix CD. Maybe it's not on shuffle. Maybe it's playing my mix CD.

I'm going back to my roots!
Kirsty asked me the other day when I was going to post a picture of my tattoo. Well here it is. It's blurry, yes, but I blame that on my crappy phone camera, and it's hard to take a picture of ones collar bone perfectly without being able to see the screen. Thinking back, I could have taken it infront of a mirror, but at the time, I couldn't be bothered.

Woo! Consequence - The Butterfly Effect.
My Mix CD must be playing. This song is really good.

Oh, to add a little to the tattoo thing, it's itchy today.
This is the finished product! My art exam. 12 hours of work. It's alright, I guess. Parts of it look quite good, but others are really weak, because I was getting tired. Wadders says it's one of the best paintings he's seen from me, which I guess is good, as an exam piece, but since I don't like it, and I like some of my other works, that's a bit of a... something.

Oh God, I can't believe I ever listened to Soil and found them remotely bareable.

Woo! Atreyu!

It's Pennywise! The clown from my childhood nightmares!

I saw Steven King's It by accident when I was very young, looking for my 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' Video, and remembering it being marked with something else. This film scared the bejebus out of me. Since then, I've been afraid of clowns.
On the other hand, this was one of my favourite films when I was widdle. Nightmare before christmas (that and beetlejuice, which scared me, but I loved at the same time). I dressed up as Sally one Halloween (the halloween after the one where I dressed as Jesus :p) and the only person who knew who I was was the weird kid down the road who smelt of piss and picked his nose. Now it woudn't bother me who knew who I was, but at the time I was annoyed, because my mum spent ages on the costume. I had an illustrated book. I don't think it was pop-up, but it may have been (though maybe I'm mixing that up with my pop-up 'nights of the round table' book... somehow)
My other favourite movie of my childhood was Peter Pan (mainly because of Tink). It's such a cool film! Nobody ever feels the same, though. I understand, he's a child in tights, trying to escape capture from an elderly pirate, who lost a hand to a crocodile, and now brandishes a, rather sinister, hook. But so? He could fly! Nuff said.

in other news, I'm now going to write an excerpt from a book I'm reading. This made me laugh, especialy since the book is quite sinister and a bit... weird.

"That's a bonny tie, Iain."
"Do you like it? My Mother gave it to me before she died. "Iain," she said, "this tie was your Daddy's. Before that it was his Daddy's and his Daddy's before him. Where he got it from I'm not sure. Won it in a game of cards, likely. It's our only heirloom. Treasure it, Son." And then she passed away. Do you really like it?"
"It's a cracker. I've never seen such a smart item."
"Yours for a fiver, then."

From The Cutting Room by Louise Welsh.

As I was saying, this book is really weird. Rilke, the main character, is an auctioneer type person. He's commissioned to empty a house in a week and auction off all the goods. But in the attic he finds a little pervert lair, type thing. The man who lived there has a bookcase full of erotic fiction, and Rilke also finds some snuff porn pictures, where a girl 'dies'. Rilke feels it's his responsibility to find out who that girl is, and find out if the photos are genuine or not. It's weird, and there's some quite graphic parts in it. I mean, it's not a bad book at all. Rather good, actually. Compelling reading. Makes a change from Phillipa Gregory, who I've been reading recently. I've still got one to finish and give back to Rachel's Mum, but I want to finish this first.

Rilke's just gone to a 'friends' bookshop. Steenie. Steenie tried to kill Rilke. Wonderful. The floor of the crows nest type place where Steenie took him to (and attempted but failed to throw him down the stairs of) is littered with pages of books saying that homosexuality is wrong. There was a part about lesbians and all the words to describe them, which kind of makes you giggle a little bit. Rilke, himself, is gay.

Yeah, it's a weird book. Very sort of... sexuality orientated. There's a transvestite type person. It's set in Scotland. There's a girl with HIV. The lot. Everyone does drugs and/or is an alcoholic. It's a very busy book, and all of his friends seem to know something about the owner of the photos, which is a bit of a coincidence.

Now I'm tired, and think I may be able to get an hours sleep in before I start work on my art prep, which has to be in on Monday.

Goodbye.

Sorry for the ramblings.

Have a nice day.

xxx

I just get a bit scared, every now, I hope I made you proud

2006-04-18T17:41:00.000+01:00

Ok, I will say this once, and once only (or maybe a few more times than once) The Streets new album 'The Hardest Way to Make An Easy Living' Is fucking... good. I mean, not as good as 'A Grand Don't Come For Free' but it has some strong tracks on it, and although I liked the story idea of AGDCFF, It's very good. And it was brave to even attempt to top AGDCFF, so well done, Mike. It's class.

And also, my tattoo is gooood. It's all... black and bruised. It feels like my skin is all crispy, like it's been burnt or something. It's weird. I guess it'll peel soon. I'm pleased with it, though. And I got to watch The Office as he did it, so I shall not complain.

I finished getting all the bits for my prom dress :s I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the prom. It's going to be... weird. I don't understand why we couldn't have our own little private party, with GOOD music and friends. Ok, fair enough, we get to sit on a table all together, all happy and whatnot, but y'know. It's so not my thing. But I guess I'[ll be happy if they play Billie Piper or Friday Hill. God, Kenzie is so HARDCORE.

Margeret Thatcher just accepted me on MySpace. I'm so PLEASED. The Queen denied, though, which makes me sad.

'The differences in language, are just the bits you got wrong, 'cos we were the ones who invented the language.'

This has so far been a bit of a shite entry. Robyn went for her interview at Colchester this afternoon. I hope it went OK. I hope she gets in. I know she really wants to. I wonder what I'm going to do after schools finished... Maybe I'll get a job. Or maybe I'll roam the streets looking for money.

Sobek's trying to climb up the side of the glass of his Viv... weird. I've got money to buy a bigger one, but I keep forgetting to ask Nan to drive up there. I think she'd like a bigger one, I can get her lots of new stuffs. Like... plants.

I feel like watching Mars Attacks tonight. But I also want to watch Goldmember because Jay put the music to it on earlier.

I bought Moulin Rouge the other day from Amazon. I also bought Takk by Sigur Ros, which is playing in the car. I liked Moulin Rouge, but I think Ewan McGregor has done better films.

Oooh. Tomorrow is the art exam. I'm not looking forward to 4 hours of silence, but I guess it has to be done. It's actually not just tomorrow, but the rest of the week. FUN! At least I know what to do, after going to see Wadders during period 5 and telling him I was still really unsure about the whole exam.

Oh well. Everything will be alright on the night, Joe.

I watched Never Mind The Buzzcocks last night. Bill Bailey is funny, as is Phil Jupitus. Sonia from Easteders was on, too. I remember a month or so ago, Kenzie was on, and he said he couldn't sing, and they all started singing Flip/Reverse. That was funny. Blazin' Squad are coo'*.They're bringing out new material in the summer. Only 4 of them left, though, so they aren't really a squad, more like a little cluster. Perhaps they should change their name to Blazin' Cluster, or Blazin' Crowd.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs just came on. My favourite song by them. No No No. They're coo'**. It's been a while since I listened to them. I'm going to buy their new album.

You know who else I like? Kylie. She's mental and brilliant, all smooshed up in one little package.

I'm dead tired. We've just had two weeks off, and I got so used to sleeping that I feel so tired and achy. Bleugh.

I really like the Popworld advert on tv with Alex Zane and Alexa (?). They jump alot. I liked popworld, Simon Amstell is fecking class, such a bastard. So funny.

Anyway. George and I had lollies shaped like eyes earlier. She cut her tongue and I cut my gum. Also, my bottom right wisdom tooth is pushing through. It's weird. they started pushing through when I was about ten, but every so often, that one just decides to shoot through. It's the only one I'm waiting for, I've got the others. It hurts.

The Opera House - Olivia Tremor Control just came on.

Ok, I'm off now. I need some sleep and relaxation.

Goodbye (Does anyone remember how to say this is German? Or Know it in any other languages?)

Love, Donna. xxx

* Billie Piper reference.
** Billie Piper reference the second

Don't hate me 'cuz you aint me

2006-04-14T18:54:00.000+01:00

AOL is being weird today. It's running slow, and Messenger keeps cutting out on me, so I give up. I'm leaving t'internet after I've written this wee post.

So tomorrow is tattoo day (I think). I'm nervous, but no more than I was with any of my piercings, which is weird, because obviously it's a bit more... permanent than a piercing.

I'm listening to HIM. I know, I should be shot. Goth metal hath becometh me... Or something. I have like, 5 of their albums from my olden days of HIM lovin' and Ville Valo worship (Let's ignore the fact that that was 3 years ago and I do have their newest album) now I like the guy with the dreads. He's pure hardcore. I do read an interview with Vile the other week/month, though. He is dead funny still. A good friend of Bam Margera, who is also truly funny. Very amusing people.

I also read an interview in me old metal hammer this month with two of the guys from Atreyu (nobody knows this band cept me and a few choice people, but I like 'em) and they're dead funny. I bet the mag'll have some complaints in the letter section next month about their 'arrogance', but to me, arrogance is funny.

Enough of my music updates.

So yeah, I've been getting on with me old art homeworks and catch ups and what nots. I hate it. The more I do, the more I seem to have left. It's dreadful. How does that even work?

And I also need to have a speaky with Art Teacher Man about the exam, which is Wednesday.

Back to school on Tuesday. I'm stupidly looking forward to it, and to showing off my tat. I'm going to be so proud, it'll probably be all scabby or peeling, but hoo-ha, I don't care. It's like a right of passage. Everyone should get one when they turn 18. Well, maybe not everyone.

I've got the news on silent in the background (i.e pictures) and I swear I just saw a skeleton walk across the screen. Weird.

I think Sobek hates me at the moment. I'm not sure why. She's got more privileges than usual. she's out and running around all day, instead of just after I get home, and she gets tonnes of attention when she wants it, but I went to pick her up an hour ago and she backed away from me. And then she licked me, as if I were someone new to her. Weird girl. She's probably just over a foot and t'half, including her tail. She's a doll, a right stunner.

In other Donna related news, I've not had time to do any of the 6 essays I owe Sally. She never seems to mind, but she hits you with the guilt thing;
'Oh, they're not for my benefit, but your own. If you don't want to do them, don't do them.'
Which, in turn makes you want to do them. I did kind of promise to do the last one, but I can't even remember the title. I did do the first one on schizophrenia. I haven't got it back yet, though, so I dunno if my essay writing skills have improved or what.

And Rachel has us a make-up artisty person to do our make-up for the prom. I hate this. It's becoming so REAL. I'm wearing a goddamn dress.

We are like the living dead. Craving for deliverance. With a frozen heart and a soul on fire.

I'm sorry for bursting into song. It's been three years and I still know all the words. Tragic, isn't it?

I don't know if I wrote this is my other entry, but I washed my phone by accident. My new one. My Motorola V3i thing. It was in my jeans pocket when I put them in the wash, and I totally forgot until I couldn't find my phone the next day, and I hunted everywhere. Good thing, though, it's fine. It was still ON when it came out.

Which reminds me, I may send off my old Sony Ericsson to get the screen fixed in the hopes that I can get the old photos off of it, and maybe even my old phone numbers. There are people I can't get hold of to get their numbers, because I don't have their numbers. Who'da thunk it?

Damn Hippies.

The sacrament is you....

I'm finished now, promised.

Love you all, see you on Tuesday (If you go to my school and I know you).
Bye, xxx

I'm on fire, so stub me out.

2006-04-09T11:35:00.000+01:00

I hate Bloc Party. I mean, I don't hate them, as such, I understand them, I get what they're doing, i appreciate good music, it's just, as a band, I would prefer to have my ears eaten by camels than have to put up with that racket. And yet, Bloc Party were everywhere last year, and they're still dead popular.

Same applies to Arctic Monkeys. They are annoying and obvious. No, their lyrics aren't all that good, but hey, what do I know, they got to #1, and about 99% of England was humming I Bet You Look Good On T'Dancefloor when it first came out, me included, but it doesn't make it good music. It just means it gets straight into your head and starts to nibble, repulsively, on your brain until you can't take it anymore, and you sing it just to make the brain nibbling stop.

Oh, and Green Day. God they are just BAD.

Anyway. Hello.

I've got some exciting news. Tattoo day is Saturday 15th. Butterfly is going on t'left shoulder. 11am. Whoot!

Oh, whilst I'm still thinking about music, I've got some new favourites. I'm really getting back into The Streets as I await their album release (tomorrow). If you, also, are a fan (few people I know actually are, but they totally rock my socks), you should check out the Professor Green remix of When You Wasn't Famous. It's very, very, very, very good. And if you like it, check out Stereotypical Man and Are They Rappin Like Pro by Professor Green. I think you can hear them on MySpace. Also, if you haven't already, check out Mike Skinner 'covering' Banquet (By Bloc Party). It's got none of the original lyrics of the shite song, but it's excitingly all about how he stole a microphone from Jo Whiley when he was on her radio show, and about not being able to pay his taxes. It's exciting.

Also, I'm sure I've mentioned how America is remaking OldBoy, my newest favourite horror/thriller/action movie straight from the ghetto (Korean ghetto, i guess). But I've just managed to get hold of a copy of a bollywood film called Zinda, which is an almost direct copy, but bollywood version. The problem is, the director is apparently being sued by the makers of the original. I've not got round to watching it yet, but it'll happen eventually.

I'm almost positive this entry is going nowhere, so I'm going to give up whilst I'm ahead.

I just hit 63 friends on MySpace. I know, 63 isn't a huge number, but it's a nice number to me. I plan to get into the 70's, and then I'm happy. I don't want thousands like lots of people have.

And yesterday Tom made me join his Chartclarity site (i think that's it). I was member #302. I told him I wanted to be member number 300, or I'll quit, so I quit. I don't plan to post, but I've verbalised my love for Blazin' Squad and Friday Hill.

Zane Lowe: Did you just spew? Mike Skinner from the streets just spewed on our show, I feel so good. This is so exciting, I've never had a celebrity spew on my show before, this is so cool.

UPDATE!!!

I don't remember how much I've verbalised my inability to figure out whether I like or loathe my new phone (motorola razr V3i), but I've just found one VERY positive thing about it.

It can survive a 60 degrees spin in the washing machine, followed by a good ol' tumble dry.

And in my books, that makes a phone.

Thank you, and goodnight.

When you're dealing with shite you don't use a teaspoon.

2006-04-03T11:09:00.000+01:00

I'm singing Devendra Banhart. I just checked my messages on MySpace and for those of you who know, he is playing on my page.

Anyway.
'Donna!' I hear you cry! 'Donna! What have you in store for us for this entry?'
'Well. I'm going to rock your world in quite a gentle way.' I reply. 'Like a delicious cake, as opposed to a bag of drugs.'
I'd love to take credit for that little quote, but I can't. I'm almost positive that's from David O'Doherty. It's not as funny when It's not said. I was watching Paramount comedy last night. I watched South Park (Fingerbang was on!) then something called Edinburgh and Beyond (I think), then Jack Dee Live At The Apollo.

"You can't imagine a pirate going 'Aargh! I love cous-cous'"

Paul Foot was on. I like him. He did a double act with someone called Trevor Lock. I've seen Paul before. I can't remember where, but I remember laughing myself to sleep, or something.

Is it wrong that I've seen so much of Jimmy Carr that I'm actually finding his humor vaguely funny? God forbid!

I have a question which is awfully important. If you were to take molten metal (very hot, i imagine it'd be silver) and mixed it with tonnes and tonnes of jelly of the same heat, and let it set, what would happen?

Would you get wibbly wobbly metal? Or rock hard Jelly?

Also, I'd like to play around with those special proteins that reverse the cooking of an egg. That just sounds so random. I mean, imagine, uncooking an egg.

I watched Dogma this morning. It's a class film. Matt Damon (Loki) is dead funny, and I don't normally like him. And it's the only film I can stand with Ben Affleck (bartleby). Chris Rock is class, though. As is Alanis Morissette as God.

Emmie is going in today to have her stitches out. She's all 'delicate' apparently. Tell her that. Today she's full of Banana! She's one with the board! (Private joke, unfortunately).

I can't believe i'm watching daytime television. They've got a boy on tv who had a stutter. I imagine that'd be quite difficult to live with. I have no speech impediments and I can barely work a sentence.

We're going to Colchester tomorrow to hopefully book an appointment for my tattoo. I'd like to get it done by the prom, cos it'll look cool, but I'll have to hide it from Nan, as I have no intentions of telling her I'm getting it. It'll be on my collar bone, or just under it, on my left side.

I've been watching a lot of Black books lately. Dylan Moran is a fucking legend. Always makes me laugh.I've got his first Monster tour on DVD and I may watch that today. I love the Irish.

So what can I say? We're off school for two weeks. I plan to sleep alot, and try to get all of the art work done that I need to. I know I shouldn't leave it 'til the last minute or whatever, but I just can't be bothered. Art is getting so... bleugh. I have, however, finished off my trainspotting pic, which I'm going to photograph and put on DA, because it doesn't actually look all that bad (believe it or not).

And I ahve a new computer desk (I've actually had it for about a month, I'm just too lazy to put it together), so one day this week I shall turn into DIY Donna and put it all together, which is good, because this one is broken. The sliding keyboard thing is broken, and juts out all the time. Which means when I wake at 3am needing the toilet, I walk straight into it, which fecking hurts.

Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it - Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you. "

I love this quote from Dogma. It's clever. If you ignore the fact that Lewis Carroll was very religious.

IF you don't know the Poem 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' it's here;
http://plagiarist.com/poetry/1770/
It's weird.

Bartleby: Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.

Enough is enough.

In the next installment I shall be quoting Trainspotting, because I'm pretty sure I've done Dogma before, and Trainspotting is my favourite film.

Now I'm listening to Agent Orange. Hardcore!

Anyway, I'll leave you now. Thank you for listening/reading.

I love you, ALL!

Love Donna
xxx

Whoa! I wanna see you work it. And if you let me, I wanna Flip Reverse it.

2006-03-26T11:21:00.000+01:00

Now, as a teenager (slash adult) I'm entirely home with the downies, but what exactly dsoes 'Flip Reverse' mean?

Anyway. Let's start with an Eminem Watch Update.

Emmie came home from the vets yesterday (Saturday 25th March) from hving her bad cystic Kidney removed on Friday. She's got stitches all down her belly, and she had a drip, and so has a bandage on her front left paw, which is a little swollen. She's going in for a check up tomorrow at around 4.30, which is difficult because Tom's mum doesn't normally pick him up until 4.40 ish.

Oh well.

So yeah, she's OK. She was a little mad at me last night when I got home (slightly drunk) but she's OK now. My room is decked out in cat stuff, everything of hers is in here, her special food, toys, water and a litter tray, because she has to be kept in peace and quiet.

So today is Robyn's birthday. Happy Birthday Robyn! I'd text her, but my phone is totally and utterly broken. On Friday when I got home from school, I flung my bag onto the bed and my phone fell out of the front pocket and flipped into the brass bedsted thing. So the screen got this weird white line through it in the corner, but other than that it was working OK. then yesterday at Robyn's party I went to look at it and the screen had gone totally black. I know it's working alright otherwise, because I've had three texts come through this morning that I can't actually read. I may see if I can find an old nokia in the garage and put my sim card in it, just so I can recieve the texts. I'm due for a free upgrade now anyway, the only bad point is, though, that the photos I've taken on my phone can't be taken off of it now. Shame, because I had some photos on there I would have liked to keep.

On a lighter note, the week after next we've planned to go to Colchester to have a chat with a tattoo artist and see about getting tattoo's. That's Rachel and I. Robyn's driving, I think, and George said she wanted to come, too.

This is what I want. I drew it on my shoulder on Friday night, but it's gone now. The pen I used was a gelish pen, too, so it bled a little into my skin and didn't look so crisp.I'm not entirely sure whether I want it on my shoulder blade, or on my collar bone. But that's not entirely important right now.

Did I mention that I lost my bracelet. My little gold bracelet is lost! It's in the house somewhere, I'm sure of it, and I've looked everywhere I can think it'd be, but I can't find it. It's quite sad, because I never really took it off.

I'm cooking dinner today. Nut roast with roasts carrots and parsnips, smashed potatoes (which means I get to wield a rolling pin around for a while) and peas! My favourite vegetable, peas!

I'm so sick of food at the moment, though. Friday was bad enough, with all the chocolate from Robyn's pre-party (and the cheap cat-piss wine), and then yesterday with the catered party, and this morning nan made breakfast, I hate breakfast, it always makes me feel sick, and guess what? I feel sick.

Anyway. In between cooking stuff today, I plan to be doing some art homework. Mr Wadwell says he wants task 3 in by easter, which gives me until Friday to get an awful lot of work done, but I'm determined to at least try and do it.

Oh, and it's Jesse's birthday today. Jesse is my baby kitty. He's a little shit, but I'm trying to be nice to him today, for he is three years old, even if he looks 50 (he has hairy ears like an old man!). So now, for his birthday, I'm going to put up a load of my favourite Jesse pictures!

This is Jesse on the cat scratching post. This was taken a while ago, maybe over a year ago. He's a pretty boy!

It's sleeping Jesse. I love this photo, he looks like a retard.

Here he is, sleeping again. He's good at that. Yes, his mouth is gaping open. Also, his eyes are wide open, too, but he's snoring. I have a photo of his face, but it's tres-creepy, so I shant put it up. Also, this is my bedroom, from a side angle. I'd change it, but I think the angle adds to the retardedness of the Jesse.

"I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the CATwalk. On the CATwalk, on the CATwalk, yeah. And I shake my little touche on the CATwalk"
He's a model...

"Hello, my name is Jesse James and I am about to topple forward due to the weight of my MASSIVE head"

Jesse is three years old today.

Happy Birthday Jesse and Robyn.

Goodbye.

xxx

This Post is post #67

2006-03-20T17:40:00.000Z

Ok, today was both good and bad.

First, Rachel and I went to town and I spent a stupid amount of money on the following things;

A present for Robyn from savers
The Smiths; Songs That Saved Your Life from Ottakar's
Red Hot Chili Peppers; By The Way from Ottakar's
Placebo - Meds from HMV (Their new album)
Joanna Newsom - The Milk Eyed Mender from HMV (I have it, but mine is terribly scratched and iTunes won't copy it properly, bitch!)
Mudhoney - March To Fuzz; Best Of And Rarest from HMV (Rachel bought the same album because she likes Mudhoney, too)
Sigur Ros - Von from HMV (because they're mentl in a brilliant sort of way)
An art print from The Art Shop of a person doing yoga. It's a sillhouette (sp?) against a sort of orangey background. It looks very buddhisty.
A card for Robyn from The Art Shop, just incase the one I ordered from www.kissmekwik.co.uk doesn't arrive in time.
A bracelet from Little G which cost £3.99 and jingles.
A plain silver tongue ball, because mine is missing!
A revolting green and fake gold ring from H&M (A shop I hate. Stupid mass produced wank)
2 pairs of earrings from H&M (!)
A pack of 10 white hairbands from H&M for 95p. Ok, their prices are alright, ut it's still all massed produced crap, and everone winds up wearing the same clothes. But then again, everyone who's a fan of a band could buy a band t-shirt that I have, and therefore this downgrades my struggle against corporate shite. But my veggie shoes are anti-corporate, so I'm great.

That was over £100 worth of stuff. I KNOW!

But this afternoon we took my little Emmie-Emm to the vet! OK, Blogger isn't allowing me to post a photo up, but I have a dead cute one, and if we're at school, ask and I'll show it to you, it's on my iPod.

Anyway, she's been unable to pee the past few days. So in we go today to the vet. She was shaking her little heart out in the car (she was in the basket, but I can't leave her in there because she gets so scared).

The vet felt around her belly a bit and said that her kidney was inflamed. It should be about the size of a £1 coin, but it's the size of a small satsuma, which, thinking about it, is fucking huge. Which I guess is why she feels so tight in her belly.

We asked what might have caused it, and he asked what we fed her. Nan told him, Whiskers wet food, and Go Cat biscuits. Aparently Go Cat biscuits are really bad for them, and leave sand and grit in their bellies. But Emmie doesn't really eat many biscuits.

He mentioned a few things, but I stopped listening after he said it could be a tumour. Because she's so young, it's a possibility, because it can't possibly be caused by an age thing.

It's scary, she's my little Emmie, she can't have a tumour.

I'm really worried for her. She's sitting on my lap now, which is unusual as she's not a lap cat. She's not left my side since I but her in the basket.

She has to go back to the vet's tomorrow morning for a scan and we pick her up in the evening. I don't know if they'll be able to cure it tomorrow, operate or whatever. It may JUST be a scan she's going in for, but she'll probably be home in the evening.

I know it sounds weird, but I don't want to be the one to take her in there in the morning and leave her. I guess I'm lucky, because I'll be in school when she goes in, I just feel really bad for her.

Tang! Homer Simpson just mentioned Tang on the TV! I don't know if you've ever had Tang, but it comes in a powder (like most American crap) and you mix it with water, and maybe sugar (like KoolAid). I think the only flavour it came in was orange, but it tasted foul! So foul, in fact, that I really want some, right now. We used to always hae it in a jug in the fridge, until we ran out of Tang Powder. I bet they don't sell it anymore. They should. They should stop selling KoolAid, because that stuff is racid.

I am still worried about Emmie, but I'm sorry, TANG!

God that stuff was just wrong. It was almost like a glow in the dark orange colour.

Another thing, why did they stop selling Tiger Balm. We get it in a little Chinese shop in Brighton, but they used to sell it in boots. It's not like it contains Tigers, right? God, that stuff is so COOL! It's like VapoRub, It's like, menthol, but it's orange! Just like Tang!

I'm using exclamation marks alot, and I hate that. I tend to dispise people who overuse them, because sometimes normal punctuation is needed.

Anyway, enough ranting and raving.

Feel better Emmie-Emm. I got the picture to work. How cute is she? This photo was taken about a year ago. It was the first photo I took on my new phone.

Anyway, I've got to go. I'll post soon, maybe tomorrow and update about Emmie's condition. I feel really sad, posting a whole entry to my Emmie, but she's sick, and she needs the air play (Or whatever the internet version would be) (Air play is the wrong word entirely, isn't it?). Oh well.

Goodbye, take care, love Donna xxx

Piazza Cavour, What's my Life For?

2006-03-16T20:16:00.000Z

Well hello.

Donna's in a good mood today, I dunno why, it's just been a good day.

I did finish the first layer of my art, so I guess that's good. I have some photos I'm going to put on here, a step by step, so far type thingy. So here goes.
This is the first image I have. It's right after I'd finished drawing it. This took me a day (Monday, 5 hours) and a couple minutes the next day to draw a quick line. I know, it's smudgy and messy, but it'll look better, and I'm repainting the wall around it, so alls well that ends well, or something.

And here we are, half way done with the flower painting. You can't really see where it's going here, I don't think. It just looks really weird, and I was really apprehensive, because I thought it was going to end up looking really shitty. This picture shows all the work that I'd done on Tuesday, during 3 frees.

And here it is, a finished flower! Tee was painting random green squares round the outside, just ignore them for the moment. It's starting to take shape, but it still has a long way to go. This photo was taken at the end of Wednesday. 4 hours of work done, here.

Here we've added a little more green in. We kept stepping back and going;
'We should so just leave it like this, it looks really weirdly cool!'
I'm liking it at this point, it's looking strange. This photo was taken today after we'd been working for 2 hours, I think.

This picture was taken at the end of 4th lesson. 4 hours work we did today, and it's worth it, because all the base green is on! whoot! And it looks like it's making sense so far, but knowing me, when I start working on the second layer, it'll just totally fuck up.

I obviously didn't do all this work on my own, so I'd like to thank the following people for their contributions.
Tee, for helping out today and yesterday.
Rachel, for helping a bit, and being a pain in the arse, which she does VERY well!
Catherine for her contribution before a lesson and for sitting out in the corridor with me yesterday.
Charlotte, for holding Catherine's coat and bag :p
Robyn, who's helped alot, and kept me company.
George, for helping a bit, and keeping me reasonably sane.
And last but not least, Tom, who actually helped a whole heap, drawing and painting, after saying he had no idea how to draw, and getting it right when I got it wrong.

If I've forgotten anyone, well that's due to the paint fumes and being isolated in a corner for 4 days. I'm sorry, and thanks for the help.

As I said, it's got a long way to go yet. Another 4 or so layers. It's in the style of Chuck Close.

http://homepage.mac.com/erlin1/iblog/C831409140/E20050724144734/Media/Picture%209.png

His work is weird. I've got a book, which I really should read. I just seem to look at the pictures. I get distracted by the bright colours. But inside each square are other shapes, like triangles and circles. It's a messy technique, and alot of his pictures make no sense, following no structure with the colours or anything.

So I'm totally winging it.

We've got tomorrow off school! Yay! Much sleep, me thinks. Much sleep and little of anything else, though I may watch a film in bed and just be utterly lazy. Because that's what non-pupil days are made for.

Anyway, that's all from me. I hope you enjoyed this special picture edition of the "Donna Is Great" blog, and I hope you come back soon!

xXx I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a strict machine xXx

2006-03-10T17:23:00.000Z

Look, it's sobek! She's got very big. She's proably looking for food here. Bless her. This was taken yesterday, I think. She was strutting around my room like a peacock or something.

She hasn't eaten live crickets in a while. The cold weather kills them off, and the ones that survive tend to be very weak and puny. Sobek doesn't like dead crickets much, so She's been eating mostly kale, and the odd live one i can salvage from a wreckage of deadies.

I got my amazon stuff today. I ordered 2 dvds and a book (of Chuck close for art). The DVD's I got were Creep, which I just watched and found quite strange. Unremarkable. I can't decide whether I like it or not, though I'm leaning towards the latter, and Shallow Grave, which I know I like. A Danny Boyle with Ewan McG and Chris Eccleston. Two very cool actors.

Yeah, the book is a Chuck Close one, for art, which I think I'll need because I'm doing this big art piece on the wall now. Bah, humbug! It's not going to be fun. Roughly 2 months fucking about, drawing on a wall in a vurtually deserted hallway. I'm going to be so LONELY!

And I start on Monday. Crud. I'm doing an orchid, whch is bluey/purple and yellow, in Chuck Close's style, with the grid and the weird colours and such. It'll probably be acrylics, too, which I'm terrible with, but it'll be all griddy, so it can't be that hard, surely?

And I just took a test. I may be the next Hitler. Watch it, people. I spare nobody, except people I like, who, of course, will be spared so they can come and sit with me in the corridor whilst I draw tiny little squares on a wall. Whoot.

So I'm home alone tonight. I'm going to go and eat whipped cream and draw on the walls with Marker pen.

I just deleted a good portion of this post, which is retarded and crap. Second time in a row. Now Donna is not pleased.

So I'm going to go now.

xXx Love Donna xXx (Chavin' it up, biatch)

P.s. "You mean it aint me noggin', it''s me peepers. Well that's just lover-ly." Bart Simpson, 10th March 2006, Channel 4, 18.02 Pm.

Oh bugger!

2006-03-05T11:29:00.000Z

I just deleted the last post. I closed the page before I even bothered saving it. Well that was clever, IDIOT!

Anyway, I remember roughly what it said, so let's see if I can recreate it.

Today is game day. I was looking to play with my lego, but out of the magical corner of my eye, I saw my gameboy colour! A terribly grand contraption that I haven't seen for blooming ages! So I switches it on and, what do you know, the battery's are dead. So I took the only remaining battery we have and stole another from the Gameboy advance, which i found a few mere seconds after I found my colour.

So this morning i've been playing pokemon yellow, as that's the game that was in it at the time. I think I know why I stopped playing, though. I was building up the pokemon to defeat the elite four. You know how tedious that gets? And also I used the masterball to catch the fire bird (Name begins with M I think, can't remember it, though), the one you get in the cave on your way to the elite four. I guess that's where I was building them up last, but I hate the caves! Too many Diglet's, Golbat's and Geodudes!

So yeah, I used the masterball, which means I can't catch mewtwo in the end cave thingy that you go in after you defeat the elite four. So bum! I might as well reset that game.

What do the nuggets do on yellow anyway?

Terrible game, really, but stupidly addictive, and even whilst I sit here, I kind of can't wait to go downstairs and start a new game all over again! Working with my level 5 Pikachu!

Anyway. On Friday I did two psychology essays, but I've only managed to print one off cos my printer fucked up and is now beeping and flashing its gay orange lights at me. so Sally will be happy to get one, and I'll try to print the other one off for Tuesday, and maybe even write the third one for then, too, even thought we haven't actually been given a hand in date for it, yet.

I was going to do more work yesterday, but I wasn't home, so moobs.

And today I can't be bothered. There's an all day marathon of Mythbusters on, I'm taking a little time out now because it's the Shark attack episode, which I've seen a thousand times, and I hate Jaws anyway.
But it's on until 5 tonight on Discovery. I've not watched that much tv in any one week, let alone one day, and I'm exccited about it!

God I feel so lazy!

And on top of everything, I have to start thinking about the gay prom which I've been told I have to go to! Why? I don't want to go! I don't like dresses and I don't like popular music, I doubt I'll be able to eat, because vegetarian options are usually Lasagne, which is disgusting, and so my evening will comprise of much alcohol, which means a last day with the worst hangover, ever. Great. Sounds like fun. And I feel like the only person that isn't looking forward to it. Rachel and Robyn are all like 'Yay, Prom, we get to dress up la la la.'
Tramps! Everywhere!
And it's all so expencive. £40 for an evening that is meerly a rip off of an American tradition. I mean, I hate it when American's wrip off good films, it's dreadful. But at least they rip off GOOD films. What do we steal from america? McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Domino's, Their worst music (including the likes of Green day, which is a rip off of English punk, and we, subsequently, rip them off back. Why don't we rip off good ol' fashioned English punk? Cos we're lazy!) and their proms. Bah humbug! We take all their crap stuff, and they take all our (and Asia, can't forget Asia) good things! Drat!

Also, I saw Tony Blair on Parkinson last night. That man is alright. He's got alot of respect due, seriously.

Anyay. I'm off to watch Mythbusters and play pokemon whilst I wind down from my uptight rant about crappy America and even crappier England. And hopefully I'll save this damn post this time.

Goodbye, much love.

Donna xxx

My Poor Pregnant Thumb and the Troubles It's Faced

2006-03-01T17:35:00.000Z

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later, the housekeeper came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which said "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

There was this fat man who wanted to lose some weight, so he went to a weight loss clinic and asked about their deals. The clinic told him that they had three deals. The first one cost $100, the second one $200 and the third one cost $500. Since this man was quite desperate to lose weight, he ordered the first deal and gave them $100.
The clinic had the man swim around in a pool. After the man got out, he then proceeded to the sauna. Where, as he was waiting, a naked lady entered the sauna. Around her head was a sign that said, "If you catch me you can have sex with me!" Seeing this, the man raced around the sauna in an attempt to catch her. However, much to his dismay, the time expired (to catch her) and he went home disheartened. However, he was quite elated after noticing he lost 10 pounds. So he went back to the weight loss clinic and asked for their $200 deal. The clinic happily obliged and had him swim around in the pool, get out and proceed to the sauna. After waiting several minutes, an extremely gorgeous naked lady, even more beautiful than before, entered. Again, this lady had a sign tied around her head reading, "If you catch me you can have sex with me." Of course as the fat man saw this he instantly got up and chased her with a passion. Unfortunately, the girl was much to swift for him and he was unable to catch her before the time expired. Again, he went home disheartened but again, was delighted to discover he had lost 20 pounds. Of course by this time, he was so satisfied with the clinic's weight loss program, that he ran back and requested the $500 deal.
Again the clinic happily obliged and had him swim around the same pool, and after swimming for some time, he proceeded to the sauna. Upon waiting for several minutes in the sauna, he was expecting Ms. Gorgeous U.S.A. to walk in any minute as the two before had. Instead, in walked a gorilla who had a sign on him that said, "If I catch you, I get to have sex with you!"

Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
The black bear says "You've got 2 choices. One, I maul you to death or Two, we have sex." Bill bends over for the bear.
He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge. Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, Either I maul you to death or we have sex." Bill bends over.
He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover. He's outraged. Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

Jokes are GREAT!

Oh, to be a teen full of angst...

2006-02-25T15:38:00.002Z

Here's a little music quiz thing i picked up. I'm into music, if you didn't guess from previous posts, or from knowing me at all.

TOP TEN ARTISTS:
1 - Incubus
2 - Bright Eyes
3 - Prince
4 - Coldplay
5 - Beck
6 - Goldfrapp
7 - Leftfield
8 - Infected Mushroom
9 - David Bowie
10 - The Streets

NOW ANSWER QUESTIONS ACCORDING TO NUMBER:

What was the first song you heard by #6? Black Cherry - Golfrapp, I think. I guess I may have heard Train or Strict Machine before, but without realising it was Golfrapp, but the first I listened to on my own, knowing who it was was Black Cherry, still is my favourite track and album, and may always be.

What is your favorite album from #2? Fevers and Mirrors - Bright Eyes. It's like, my guilty Emo pleasure. It's dreadful, in seriousness. But who cares?

What are your favorite lyrics from #5? Beck?I'm not sure. "Here comes the vegetable man in the vegetable van with the horn that's honking like a mariachi band" from Que Onda Guero maybe. Very Mexican feel to this song. Great fun to hear.

How many times have you seen #4 live? Once, at the V a couple years ago when they were headlining on the Saturday. They were fucking amazing, I'll tell you. Clocks sung with green lasers was just heavenly. By far their better album. ALOT better than X&Y.

What is your favorite song from #7? Possibly Afrika Shox - Leftfield as again, it was the first I heard. Plus the only one with a video, therefore the one with the best video, and directed by the best director (Chris Cunningham).

What is a good memory you get from #10? Singing The Streets songs to Rachel for her birthday because we had no music. So Tom and I offered our voices, and I got to do my favourite "Get Out Of My House!" which I did with a beautiful accent!

What song from #3 makes you sad? Prince? Have you never heard a Prince song? I guess When Doves Cry has alot of emotion attached to it.

What are your favorite lyrics from #2? "Does he lay awake listening to your breath, worried you smoke too many cigarettes? Is he coughing now on the bathroom floor? For every speck of tile, there's a thousand more you won’t ever see but must hold inside yourself eternally." That whole part of that verse is sung pretty cooly. It doesn't sound as good until you hear it. It's from The Calendar Hung Itself - Bright Eyes.

What is your favorite song from #9? John, I'm Only Dancing - David Bowie!

How did you get into #3? I dunno. I was bought up with him.

What was the first song you heard by #1? Drive - Incubus

What is your favorite song by #4? Green eyes - Coldplay

How many times have you seen #9 live? I wish I'd seen David Bowie live. But I'm not that fortunate.

How many times do you really think #9 has played live? Many. He's getting on now.

What is a good memory you get from #2? A GOOD memory from Bright Eyes? You are kidding me? Unfortunately they don't sing very happy songs.

What song by #8 makes you sad? Infected Mushroom are a trance group. Their songs don't really make me sad.

What is your favorite album by #5? Mellow Gold - Beck.

What are your favorite lyrics from #3? Theres a couple;
"Let me show you baby I'm a talented boy." Gett off - Prince
"What do you want to eat? *Ribs* Toy I don't serve ribs. You better be happy that dress is still on, I heard the rip when you sat down *tearing sound*" Gett Off - Prince
"Your car got mags that be dippy dippy dope. But the whole damn nation got the same Pope" Pope - Prince

What is your favorite song by #1? Just a Phase - Incubus or Hilikus - Incubus

What is your favorite song by #10? Either Empty Cans - The Streets, Original Pirate Material - The Streets, or their newie, When You Wasn't Famous - the Streets

What is your favorite album by #7? Leftism - Leftfield

How many times have you seen 8 live? Never, although it would be cool. I've got some video's of theirs live, great atmosphere.

What is your favorite album of 1? Either Morning View for it's ease of listening, or Fungus Amongus because it's so amateur, and so blatantly about the drugs, man.

What is a great memory you have considering 9? I'm not sure. I always remember watching his in The Labyrinth whne I was little and fancying him a little. That's kind of freaky, isn't it?

What was the first song you heard by 8? Converting Vegetarians - Infected Mushroom

What is your favorite cover by 2? Wow, either Mushaboom - Bright Eyes (Feist cover), or even weirder, an Elvis cover of Blue Christmas - Bright Eyes.

Well that's finished. I thought it would be a bit more fulfilling, or interesting to fill out than it actually was. I'm very disppointed. And I also have a weird feeling that I've put in a band that I don't like as much as another band. I didn't put in CocoRosie, who I like, or Bjork who is interesting, or Sigur Ros, my newest liked band; the Kooks, I missed off Blondie and the Beach boys, the Cure, Giant Drag, Air, The smiths... God, now I feel crap.

In lighter news, my foot is a little better.. *Giggles*

And, on a funny note, I'm attempting to tidy my room. I know! I know! I say attempting, I got distracted by the idea of checking my emails, then doing the quiz, and listening to music... It just looks so messy and daunting.

I really want to watch the Jungle Book, I've not seen it in ages, I just randomly started singing the elephant march thing. How sad.

So I'm going to do my room now. Behave, will you!

Bird Flu! Nooo! Bird Flu! We're All Gonna Die!

2006-02-20T17:08:00.000Z

No, we really aren't. What a load of bullshit. Sure, it's real, and sure, it can kill, and sure, it'll probably come over to England. So don't complain about it. It's gonna happen. The Sun's going to burn out. The worlds supply of chocolate will eventually be all eaten. Of course, eventually we will run out of oil, and yes, everybody is going to die. So why worry about the future and our fate. Go out, eat chicken and dance with dead ducks, just like every other friday night out on the 'razz'. Fuck bird flu.

So hi. I'm home from Finland. Yesterday, in fact. Lemme give you my daily schedule, like I did for the cruise trip. But I can't remember dates, so you'll have to go on days.

Wednesday
Got taxi at 6.30 after he turned up at 6! Wanker. I wasn't even up. Got to Finland for about 1 (English time), which is about 3 (Finnish Time) then an hour and a half drive back to the house which was nice. Very snowwy. Very cold. We had a pie made out of some sort of berries. They were orange and were yummy. I don#t remember what they were called, though. They had two dogs, Imo and Sissy, and 4 cats, Pizza, Max, Ally and Ritzy (I guess that's how it's spelt). they were all very friendly. Cute animals.

Thursday
Went into Helsinki for quick shopping trip. Very cold indeed! Didn't buy anything I don't think. I dunno. We had coffee in this place. There was a strange carnival type thing going on which caused alot of traffic. There were students in dumper trucks wearing jump suits. they had signs which said something in Finnish. And they were throwing sweets about with glitter and confetti. Apparently it's something to do with the end of the A level year or something. Quite spectacular.

Friday
We went to Tallinn, Estonia by ferry. It involved getting up at 6 to leave at 6.45. Difficult. The ferry ride was cool, had an alcohol breakfast with a croissant. A cheese croissant! Yuck! but yeah, it was cold there, too, but nice as well. we had alot of alcohol. ALOT! We went to a place called Scotland Yard where all the barmaids wore police uniforms and the whole place was decked out like a police stationy type thing with a big fish tank. Then we went back to Finland. I was much tired after the early start, and we didn't get back til 9, then we had dinner and some more alcohol, then bed.

Saturday
Today we went bowling which was a shambles as I'm not a great bowler and had little energy because of how tired I was. Also, I'd hurt my foot on Wednesday or Tuesday and it was swelling up again. Any excuse, hey. But then we went to this Lappish restaurant, and I had beetroot cakes, which was random but nice. Then we went to a few bars, and the last one was like a sports bar, and the Ice Hockey was on. Finland were playing. I've never watched it before, but for some reason it seemed like the most mesmerising thing in the world, EVER, so I got quite into it. Then we taxied our way home.

Sunday
Hmm, not much happened, really. My foot was still quite swollen and painful. We left for the airport at about 2.30 I think, to get there for 3.30. Then the flight was at 5.25, but we didn't take off until later as they had to de-ice the wings with a hose full of de-icing stuff, and there were firemen type people doing it. So random. He was on a cherry picker! Anyway, we got home at about 8.30 Finnish time (6.30 English) but by the time Nan got through customs it was later, but I got through quickly and went down to get the bags. There are plus points to living in the EU. We got home around 9 english time and I made myself some food then went to bed.

Today was random. Michael Jackson is re-releasing loads of his singles so Jay got Tom and I to go with him to town, but he was all shitty because it's Michael Jackson and I couldn't walk quickly because of my foot, which is still stupidly swollen, and I think I've got a blister now from the veggie botts, so I'll be wearing my black vans to counter that tomorrow, they're the loosest shoes I own.

I got my new keyboard today. My old one broke and started typing things that I wasn't typing. Lol, so if I typed the letter A, it'd come out as Asd4{ or something. And the whole top row of letters (Q th P) weren't working at all. Nan blamed me and said, firstly, I was too heavy handed, but how can you type heavily or lightly? And then she said it was because it was dirty... Ok. Then she said I did it deliberately... Ok. Why would I break it deliberately if it meant I can't use my PC? Dunno. Anyway, I've got a new one. And a letter from Mensa which I haven't opened yet.

I got Sobek back today, according to the lady in the shop, He is a She, so I dunno if I'lll change the name or not. Madam Sobek! Sobek is a girl! Weird. But she said he was one of the prettiest he's seen. Very gorgeous colour. He's shedding his leggies now, so he's a little grey around there. But he's fine, really. Enjoyed his stay, he's a sweety.

I'm listening to Beck.

I've got a bag of Fani Pala to take to school tomorrow. They're cool Finnish chocolates with like, wafer bits and Irish cream tasting bits. They're weirdly addictive.

Anyway, I'm gonna go now. Stuff to do. I'd tell you more, but you;d only get bored of reading it. Goodbye!!! xxx

They are night Zombies!! They are neighbours!! They have come back from the dead!! Ahhhh!

2006-02-11T15:58:00.000Z

So just one final post before I leave for holiday on Wednesday. It's saturday today and I'm tired. I've just spent a block of about 4 hours doing art homework that I won't have a chance to do over the holidays due to my... holiday.

So my hand is killing me from the colouring and the shading.

Anyhow. I was just looking through my near dead phone and came across a nice picture of Rachel and me that I thought I would share with you, so you can see how I looked as CHER!

I love the fringe! Seriously, I do. It does look very messy in this picture, but I was probably drunk, as was Rachel. Robyn took the picture. She was sober. I feel this picture makes me look slightly like a man! But I like it anyway.

And, it's another where you can see my new piercing. I took one right after it was pierced which I use alot, but my lip was swollen still. Here you can see it in all it's glory. Kind of.

Do you know how badly I want my dreadlocks now? VERY! That's to come. I'm having my hair dyed and trimmed on tuesday, but not dreaded.

However, one day it'll happen... honest.

Zombie... Zombie... Zombie... Zombie nation.

But yeah. Woo! Holiday on wednesday! Finland until Sunday. Then school on Monday... Yay?

Anyway, until I return, goodbye my dearies.
xxx

Moo Juice

2006-02-06T17:15:00.000Z

Most of this weekend I've been drunk. So today I've had a hangover. Not pleasant.

Saturday was Jay's party. Apparently I told Jess we should be friends. I also told her Tom was gay. I dunno, alcohol makes you say weird things.

Yesterday was Rachel's party. It was quite cool. I had a hangover, so I drank alcohol to make it better. Big mistake. It just transferred the hangover to today.

Aparently we lie every three minutes we are talking. I think that's a bit of a lie.

My pumpkin seeds taste like mint sauce. YES! And pine nuts taste like planes.

I'm going on holiday on the 15th of Feb. Going to Finland. I'm sure I've mentioned it. Sobek is going to AquaPets for a few days. It's going to cost about £10. not bad I guess.

Massa is going to drive for Ferrari? Barrichello is moving to BAR? God F1 is changing. I'm still getting over Trulli's move to Toyota from Renault. He was alot better with Renault, but toyota did better last season. Schumacher is wank.

A sheet of glass just fell on Jesse. I'm not going to pretend he didn't deserve it. It didn't smash. Stupid little baby. He'll live.

I don't really have much to write. Sorry. I'm getting boring in my old age.

Bye bye

Wood! Wood! Wood! Wood! Milk!

2006-01-28T12:46:00.000Z

I dunno if I have to ultimately much to talk about, but we shall see as I proceed to inform you abot my week.

On Monday was the dreaded Psychology exam. Woo! It sucked royally. There are three questions, for which we have to write an essay answer each. 30 minutes per essay. 90 minutes all together. Simple enough, right?

Well actually, yeah, it's not terribly hard (I've so failed). The first two questions were pisser. So simple I couldn't ask for anything better. But the third question, the one about Perception, which is my terribly weak area anyway, totally caught me off guard. I was so shocked. Afterwards, though, even Sally said the wording of the question was wank, so y'know.

So in this question, with a lucky 45 minutes remaining, I wrote the examiners a little note at the start, stating that I had no fucking clue what to write, so I'll just write everything I know about perception 'In the hope that I stumble across something worth while'. So I did. I wrote about the visual system, (I got the word ganglion in the essay, fuck yeah!), Gregory and Gibson and their utter wank theories, Sensory adaptation, size constancy, depth cues, colour processing, the lot. Afterwards I found out that more than half of what I wrote was correct, but some of it shouldn't be there. The essay was unstructured and seriously lacking in AO2. But I was panicking.

but actually it wasn't so terrible, because alot of people didn't even get that down. Alot of people didn't write anything wrothwhile. So I guess I can't complain. I'm pretty sure I'll fail, but it won't be drastically. Actually, my first two essays were probably similar to some of my best in-class essays, in which i score very high, so maybe I shan't fail. I dunno. Either way, I'm not retaking in summer.

I've decided after School finishes, on the pretense that I have a car and can drive, I'm going to drive to Scotland and live and work there for a year. Or maybe I'll spend a year working here, before I do that, so I can have some money for that. Should be different. I'd love to backpack around the world, but I haven't the money for that, so this is the easy way out without staying at home or going to Uni.

I'm not feeling good at the moment. Yesterday I had off school because I had an opticians appointment, but later in the afternoon I got pretty ill and was bed bound. I feel better now, but I still feel shitty, too.

In recent news, we got our commno room back. Bout time, too. Cept our area is overrun by stupid tables. Gay!

Oh, and in even more recent news, my Make Pverty history band broke (because you need to know these things), but don't panic, my entheogen defence fund band is still standing in all it's pink glory. Cost me £1.20 that did. Rip off. 20p more than it should be. Oh well. Did I mention that I've had to explain to about 30 people what shrooms are? My god, people. Get with the times.

On other drug related topics, have you ever thought that Charlie Brown must be about drugs. Think about it. Charlie! Brown! As does Scooby 'Dooby' Doo. Alice in Wonderland. the Magic Roundabout. Rainbow. Everything! Of course, all these are obvious, but the other day the Charlie Brown one hit me, square in the jaw, and I though, hey, that's crazy talk. But blatant. Everyone said they already thought that. Lies!

I bought the second part of series one of Lost on DVD on thursday. It's cool to watch. This is the bit that I missed due to many holidays, but I'm on the third DVD and I've got 2 episodes left, the exodus ones, and I've seen them both. Poor Walt gets kidnapped. Robyn lied about what happened in the last episode.

God, Im totally allowed to be obsessed with a tv show, because I don't watch much of it.

Oh, and I bought the Kooks album on Thursday, too. It's real good. they're a class little musical establishment. From Brighton. My favourite southern town.

Anyway, I've babbled enough. Sorry. Goodbye...

P.s. It's Rachel's birthday tomorrow, Hippy Bathday Rachel.
P.s. It's Jay's birthday the day after, Happy Birthday, Jay.
P.s. It's not my birthday for a while, but I still like presents given to me randomly.
P.s. I'm going on holiday on the 15th of February!!! Finland.

And my mind's out, never again will I sell out. Converting vegetarians. Into the midnight giving it to you. I wake Up!

2006-01-18T18:03:00.000Z

This is the time of the revelution.

Yesterday was amazing! I got my labret pierced. God, today I look like I've got a huge fat lip, it looks swollen and weird, and bruised on the inside, but I do love it. It's very lovely... Love!

So tomorrow may be the last day I'm working on my art work. It's so close to being finished I can taste the powdered perspex on my tongue! But after that we have to photograph it with a really high pixel camera, zoom in stupidly large and I have to paint another image of it, pixel by pixel, Just like Chuck Close who paints with his mouth.

So nearly done! Mr. Wadwell says I can start my second piece next week, which is great. I'm hoping to actually begin doing work in my books, because I'm spending alot of time on psychology at the moment. Oh, and I had no time this wekeend because I were in Brighton/London going to gigs and meeting transvestites named Claire!

I don't have alot to write, really. I'm sorry I'm not writing as much, but I've been overcome by work and invitations out places. I can't prioritise for the life of me, and if I had sense, last weekend I'd have been in revising for psychology exam (Next Monday) and doing Art homework, but I have no sense. Of course, if I had any further sense, I'd be revising this weekend, but I'm out again, so I'm screwed. I'm not going to be surprised if I fail this exam.

Robyn is lovely at the moment (Because normally she isn't??) So I'm going to buy her a present and a card this weekend.

So what else? I dhonestly don't know. I bought return of the killer tomatoes yesterday for £2 on video! Wicked! And I bought a Beavis and Butthead video, too. Along with some necessities, too. Obviously!

So I guess I'll speak to you again soon, hopefully. Bye for now xxx

Sometimes women are men. And sometimes they fancy men. And sometimes they fancy women. And sometimes they fancy children, but the latter is just gross

2006-01-06T16:55:00.000Z

Day 1 - Today is the first day of Big Brother. There are 10 contestants: Donna's lips, Donna's flanjita, Donna's hands, Donna's arse, Donna's talent, Donna's conscience, Donna's nose, Donna's ears, Donna's legs and Donna's bambinos all hoping to fight it out for £75,000 if they are the final person. The 10 contestants have 40 days to stay in the house, and we'll be spying on them as they get on with their lives in the house. Donna's flanjita has already built a friendship with Donna's arse, but they have a secret which no one knows yet. Donna's conscience likes the look of Donna's talent, but Donna's talent is already scared because he is infront of the entire nation. Donna's hands is the annoying one of the pack according to the other members as they told Big Brother in the diary room.

Day 2 - Donna's lips nearly has a mental breakdown because they aren't allowed to listen to the radio or watch the TV in the house! Donna's talent thinks this is peculiar, but doesn't tell anyone. Donna's nose spends 3 hours in the chicken pen, and her favourite is Donna's Dad. At night, most of the gang are in bed, but Donna's legs stays up talking to Donna's talent. They talk about their past lives - Donna's legs used to work Under Donna's toenails whilst Donna's talent has recently had a Donna transplant, and shows her the scar which she thinks is cool.

Day 3 - Donna's hands's popularity is becoming smaller and smaller in the house, as he is up early in the morning drunk, and doing karaoke. Donna's ears runs in to tell him to shut up, whilst he is singing Donna - A Little Bit Of Donna and is shocked to find that he is naked! Donna's hands, in his drunken state, confesses to her that he once had a one night stand with a man named Donnatello, and Donna's ears laughs her head off. The gang are set their first task, they have to sing Donna - A Little Bit Of Donna whilst hanging upside down. Donna's hands, although being drunk and naked that morning, had already practised the song so the gang bet 90% of their budget on completing the task.

Day 4 - The gang complete the task with flying my pet Donna, but then straight after that they have to go to the diary room and nominate the person they want out most. Donna's hands gets the most votes, and he will go against Donna's legs because she does nothing, according to Donna's hands. Later that night, Donna's arse admits to everyone that he is gay, but doesn't tell them his other secret. Donna's flanjita is slightly worried, but accepts him for who he is after they both stayed up talking for ages, about things like Donna found a wolf called Donna and it barked and their pet my pet Donnas. Donna's flanjita says he once met a man named Donnatello, and that the man stalked him all night.

Day 5 - After the first public vote, Donna's legs is surprisingly voted out. Donna's hands and Donna's legs share a kiss, before she leaves. Donna's legs comes back for another one, and bites his tongue. Donna's hands is very annoyed. Donna's conscience flirts all day with Donna's talent, and Donna's ears gets really jealous so does it too. Donna's talent gets really confused, then hides away from them in the evening. Donna's flanjita and Donna's arse are again the two left up this time, and Donna's arse shows him his the Donna, when suddenly Donna's lips walks in and says ''OH MY GOD'' then goes back to bed. Donna's flanjita goes really red, and goes to bed too. Donna's arse is left up to think about things.

Day 6 - Donna's arse decides he has fallen in love with Donna's flanjita, and confides in Donna's conscience, who advises him not to tell Donna's flanjita. The second task is set, they have to make a model my pet Donna out of Donna's Dad's left over seed. The gang bet 60% of their money on it, against Donna's bambinos's wishes, so she sulks all day, and is found alone in the toilets Donna Do is just doing the Donna by Donna's lips, who runs out and tells everyone. The gangs attitude to Donna's bambinos is now very harsh and negative. The gang name the model my pet Donna Donnatello, as Donna's hands suggested. Donna's arse starts flirting with Donna's flanjita like crazy, and yet Donna's flanjita has completely no idea!

Day 7 - Donna's hands is the first up today, and he has woken up on the wrong side of bed. Donna's flanjita closely follows him, he goes to the kitchen and then Donna's lips pins him up against the fridge and tries to stick his tongue down Donna's flanjita's throat. At that point, Donna's conscience walks in on them and says that she would leave them to it... Donna's flanjita pushes Donna's lips away and asks him what he was doing. Donna's lips says that he thought he was gay. Donna's flanjita walks away from him in disgust. Later on in that day, Donna's nose bursts out laughing for no reason, claiming that she just saw Donna could marry Donna. Donna's talent is very disturbed by this. Donna's talent goes to Big Brother and has a large complaint, claiming that Donna's nose offended him in a big way.

Day 8 - Donna's conscience and Donna's arse talk more about his secret crush on Donna's flanjita, who is on high alert, avoiding Donna's lips all day. Donna's lips isn't really that bothered, and decides he is more interested in Donna's nose. Donna's talent starts attention seeking, he thinks that Donna's conscience is fit, and wants to see where it goes. The gang are set their 2nd task - they have to make baubles for the Christmas tree out of a mixture of glass and Donna. Donna's bambinos thinks they should bet all of their money on completing the task, but Donna's nose has other ideas and shouts her head off at Donna's bambinos about it. The gang have to nominate who they want out of the house, Donna's lips and Donna's hands are up for the vote.

Day 9 - Donna's lips and Donna's hands learn of them being nominated which puts Donna's lips into a stroppy mood all day. This sets Donna's nose off on another rant about how this man named Donnatello was driving her home in a taxi, then suddenly stopped and tried something on with her, but she luckily eascaped. This caused Donna's hands to disagree with her, leading to a full blown fight. Donna's arse broke it up, but got bruised because Donna's nose slapped him hard in the face. Donna's arse is not talking to Donna's nose, and no one is talking to Donna's hands. The 2nd task is well under way, Donna's lips started making puree out of the Donna whilst Donna's flanjita cupped it and made it into a ball.

Day 10 - Donna's bambinos starts going on about how many boyfriends she has had this year, her favourite was a man who called himself Donnatello - he was very mysterious. Nice, big the Donna apparently, infact, it was so nice she let him suck her the Donna-jita. This proved to be too graphical for the gang, including Donna's conscience so she hit Donna's bambinos with the remaining Donna. After the public vote, Donna's hands has been voted out inspite of the action he had caused yesterday.

Day 11 - Donna's conscience and Donna's talent get up early in the morning, and walk in on Donna's bambinos eating the Donna baubles. As much as they are mad at her, they are very worried since glass was in them. Donna's bambinos goes to the toilets and is very sick, whilst Donna's talent and Donna's conscience start badly flirting with each other. Donna's ears is next up, and walks in on this, and is very jealous so she goes up to Donna's talent and does something bizarre - she grabs his the Donna. This leaves Donna's talent in a very confused state, who should he choose? The gang fail the task because all of the Donna baubles have been eaten.

Day 12 - Donna's flanjita runs out in the morning shouting because Donna's arse had gotten into bed with Donna's lips in the middle of the night! Donna's arse immdiately rushes out, but Donna's lips has no idea because he was asleep.

Day 13 - Today was the turn for shocking news, this was from Donna's ears. She revealed to the gang, and the whole entire nation (and of course those popular viewers from Donnaland) that she is a transexual, before she became a woman she used to be called Donnatello. This shocks the gang, especially Donna's talent who can't take any more action than there has been all week! The nominations are due, this time 2 will leave on day 20 - the 3 nominated are Donna's lips, Donna's ears and Donna's talent.

Day 14 - Donna's nose and Donna's flanjita both have a go at Donna's ears all day, calling her a tranny. She goes off to sulk. Meanwhile, Donna's lips's relationship is growing stronger with Donna's arse, they are alone and the last 2 up. They are drunk, and this time Donna's arse tries to get it right and kisses Donna's lips.

Day 15 - The gang are set their new task, they have to make an outfit for the visiting prince of Donnaland. He loves the show, Avid Merrion introduced it to him and he wants to be a part of it.

Day 16 - The task is well underway for making the outfit. Donna's ears is surprisingly good at it, but the gang have bet only 30% of their budget on winning because of losing last week. 2 missing members, Donna's lips and Donna's arse go missing later on and Donna's bambinos goes to find them, and walks in on both of them naked in the double bed in the girls room... she says she will tell everyone else but the 2 in a spot of bother ask what they can do to make her not do it, so she requests a threesome, or nothing else. She claims she is actually quite attracted to Donna's lips. They reluctantly agree, but they won't allow it that night.

Day 17 - It is the final day for the task as the prince of Donnaland visits tomorrow. The gang have decided that the best part is the pink Donna's g-string and are sure he will love it. The gang think it is weird that 3 members are missing, this is because Donna's lips, Donna's arse and Donna's bambinos are having a threesome in the toilets... everyone leaves them to it, they just assume that Donna could marry Donna has happened.

Day 18 - Donna's bambinos demands more sex from the queers, but they refuse... and this is to become a huge regret as Donna's bambinos tell the gang over dinner about their affair. This results in a full blown fight against Donna's bambinos, as Donna's nose sticks up for them saying that they can't possibly be dating! Apparently its more likely for Donna's arse and Donna's ears to get together, since they are both men... this makes Donna's ears smack Donna's nose really hard and then a full blown fight happens - Big Brother's assistants then have to go in and break it up, then Donna's ears hits one of the assistants and breaks their nose. PCs Des Taviner, Cathy Bradford and Neil Coalbran are called in and they arrest Donna's ears for having what is apparently an unauthorised sex change, and for assault. Donna's ears tries to escape by hitting PC Neil Coalbran in the the Donna, but Cathy Bradford catch her and tries to kill her (what a surprise) only for PC Des Taviner to save her...

Day 19 - The prince of Donnaland has finally arrived, this is a day late because of the punch-ups the day before. He examines the clothes that have been made for him in the task, and says they are 'classy' - especially his pink Donna's g-string - and he immediately goes to try it on. When he comes back, Donna's bambinos whistle at him calling him 'very sexy'... Donna's arse annoys the pack in the evening by saying things from Bo Selecta. This causes Donna's flanjita to tell him to shut the fuck up. Donna's flanjita really dislikes Donna's arse now...

Day 20 - Today 1 member will be voted out. There were meant to be 2, but Donna's ears was arrested on day 18 for being a bitch. The rumours have had it that Donna's lips would be voted out. Donna's talent gets nervous and decides to ask Donna's conscience if she wants a bit of sucking and she can touch his the Donna. Donna's conscience agrees, she thinks this will be the last time she will see him... The gang listen through the door and all you can hear is Donna's conscience making my pet Donna noises. When Donna's conscience comes back out, the gang annoy her by making my pet Donna noises at her making her very red, and suddenly Davina McCall tells the gang that Donna's talent has been voted out. Donna's talent has actually fallen asleep, and so he misses his chance to pack everything away, so the Big Brother assistants have to pick him up and chuck him out.

Day 21 - The gang already have to nominate who they want out, for day 25. The two nominated house members are Donna's bambinos and Donna's flanjita. The members are told, and Donna's flanjita is a bit pissed off with the gang because of this. Donna's lips and Donna's arse finally decide that they're not embarrassed anymore and shock the gang by snuggling up together on the sofa. The rest of the gang go outside, and there is mayhem in the chicken pen because Donna's Dad is laying eggs!

Day 22 - More mayhem for the gang today, who spend a lot of the time in the swimming pool on a scorching day. A my pet Donna flies over the fence and jumps in the pool with them. Donna's conscience is allergic to my pet Donnas and so has to be escorted away by a slightly bewildered Donna's bambinos who currently works Under Donna's toenails and spends her spare time making Donna's g-string... the rest of the gang are in the swimming pool, and Donna's arse is a bit pissed so suggests skinny dipping. The gang decide they might as well, its only a laugh anyway. Donna's arse laughs at the size of Donna's flanjita's the Donna, and that angers Donna's flanjita who has a right go at him saying he can hardly talk because he's gay. They are set their new task, they all have to ride the mechanical bull for 60 seconds.

Day 23 - The tention mounts between homophobe Donna's flanjita and Donna's arse and when Donna's arse flaunts it with Donna's lips right infront of Donna's flanjita, so he starts shouting abuse. The task is well underway, and before Donna's arse goes on the bull, Donna's flanjita revs the speed up so Donna's arse goes flying off of it, and lands on top of Donna's lips. This angers Donna's flanjita even more who then threatens Donna's conscience, if she doesn't lure Donna's lips away from Donna's arse then he will do something stupid.

Day 24 - The gang, who bet 50% of their budget on completing the task, failed because no one set the speed back to normal so everyone blames Donna's flanjita.

This always makes me laugh to read. Tom did it, and I saved it to read back on those days when life just isn't as much fun as other days. It's not finished, hense the reason why it only goes up to day 24. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I also hope you all had a good christmas and a good new year, and I wish you all the best for 2006.

Goodbye, friends. xxxx

Once I had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a heart of glass

2006-01-02T09:38:00.000Z

I woke up seriously early this morning. And by seriously early I mean 8.30. On a school day, it wouldn't be early, I know, but yesterday I woke up at 12, so you know.

Right, lemme tell you all about New Years. First I went to a pre-new years eve thing on Friday the 30th, which involved a mate's death metal gig. So we got back to his with a load of people at about 5am and pretty much slept until 3pm, when I had to get up, shower and get ready to get on the train and go to Robyn's New Years Eve party.

That was quite cool. I told Rachel's little brother that he had to cover his eyes when he sneezed incase they popped out, but then I told him he should probably also cover his mouth just incase his guts come out when he sneezes. I think he believed me.

But yeah, it was cool. We played some games and stuff, and had champagne at midnight. It was quite nice.

Then we went to bed at about 3 I guess, I dunno. And we woke at 12.

Today is going to be movie day as it's sort of a bank holiday. There's loads on tv, but I want to watch some of my favourites, so I'm going to start off with a shot of Trainspotting. It's my favouritest movie ever, probably, which I let Rachel and Robyn both see for the first time about a month ago. How can these people not have seen the masterpiece that is that movie. And Danny Boyle, what a legend. He's making '28 Weeks Later' which is the sequel to '28 Days Later', if you didn't guess. I wasn't aware they could make a sequel, 'cos I thought all the zombies died... I hope Cillian Murphey's in it, he was good. Did Christopher Eccleston die in the first one? If not, he should be in the sequel, he's a hardcore actor.

Anyway, next I shall watch Cristiane F: Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo, which is a German drug movie from the early '80's. It's pretty damn good. It's got David Bowie in it, singing, like you do when you are Bowie and a feckin' God.

Sobek is sitting in his water bowl... What a silly little lizard.

So to continue the movie marathon, I'll watch Pulp Fiction. Tarantino. Another legend in his own way, but slowly going downhill. Pulp fiction and reserviour dogs were two brilliant films from the 90's. But of recent he's directed Kill Bill and it's sequel, the aptly named Kill Bill 2. I saw the first. I found it quite boring. I don't understand the huge deal made about it. It's not really that great, and in my opinion, Uma Thurman is pretty shit in it. It has no story, but apparently it's not supposed to have a story. What? I apologise if anyone enjoyed this movie, I know alot of people did, and I'd love some insight into why it's so amazin, and why it's such a big hit, because I just don't get it. The only thing I do get is the huge amount of bloodshed in this movie. Blood and gore. And then there was Sin City, not as good as everyone made it out to be, but not terrible, either. I actually quite enjoyed it, and I liked the whole black and white, terrible acting type thing. But by far a better Tarantino flick than the Kill Bill two.

Sorry, somewhere whilst writing this entry I got distracted by flashy things and blight colours and started to rant about movies and how good/crap some directors are, or have become.

So before this becomes too tedious to read, I'll end on a joke.

Knock knock
Who's there
Kip
Kip who?
Keep your finger out of your arse you dirty little shit

Har har.

Anyway, I'm off to watch all these films and then go to bed, or do homework, which ever one suits me the most.

Goodbye. xxx

Not a happy bunny

2005-12-30T12:07:00.000Z

I just found out something very annoying.

Let's start from the beginning. A few months ago I saw Oldboy for the first time. I know, I know, a little late (it came out in 2003) but whne I saw it I found it quite amazing. I've never seen a film that made me want to vomit before, and the mix of disgusting visuals and the unlikely incest storylines lead it to be one of my newest favourite films. I know, isn't it strange when I rate how good a flick is by how much it makes me was to rip out my eyesballs and throw up on them? Well Oldboy recieves a 10 from me. No. Make that a 12. Revoltingly great.

It's a korean film, and while I'm not too overly enthused by subtitles in a movie, I still found it pretty amazing.

But then I found out that this utter wanker, Roy Lee, who produced such monstrocities as The Ring (from the Japanese Ringu) and The grudge (Japanese Ju-On) is going to make an American version of Oldboy, presumably to start filming in 2006. Nicholas Cage has been rumoured for the main part, but thats all they are, rumours. Nothing confirmed. But still, you get the idea? This man is just going to ruin the film.

Now, I'm not saying that the ring and the grudge were utterly terrible. They were merely shite. Poor americanisations of films that were perfectly fine in their original states.

http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?ItemID=8079
This is an article about how America has suddenly become obsessed with remakes, but not just any remakes, those of Asian movies. Perfectly good Asian movies, to be precise.

And here are just a few extras, proving that it's not just Asian films the americans have been remaking of recent times. There's a handful from places such as Italy, France, Holland, and even our Native England :s

Unfaithful (USA, 2002) - La femme infidel (France, 1968)
The Departed (USA, 2006) - Infernal Affairs (Hong Kong, 2004)
Point of No Return aka The Assassin (USA 1993) - Nikita (France, 1990)
Criminal (USA 2005) - Nine Queens (Argentina, 2003)
Shall We Dance? (USA 2005) - Shall We Dance? (Japan, 1996)
Solaris (USA, 2002) - Solaris (Russia, 1972)
The Italian Job (USA, 2003) - The Italian Job (UK, 1969)
Wicker Park (USA, 2004) - L'appartement (France, 1997)
Godzilla (USA, 1998) - Gojira (Japan, 1954)
Alfie (USA, 2005) - Alfie (UK, 1966)
The Wicker Man (USA, 2006) - The Wicker Man (UK, 1973)
The Birdcage (USA, 1996) - La cage aux folles (France, 1985)
The Good Thief (USA, 2002) - Bob le flambeuer (France, 1956)
Dark Water (USA, 2005) - Dark Water (Japan, 2002)
The Eye (USA, 2006) - The Eye (Hong Kong, 2002)
Night Watch (USA, 1998) - Night Watch (Denmark, 1994)
Ladykillers (USA, 2004) - The Ladykillers (UK, 1955)
Just Visiting (USA, 2001) - Les visiteurs (France, 1993)
Taxi (USA, 2004) - Taxi (France, 1998)
Bedazzled (USA, 2000) - Bedazzled (UK, 1967)
Swept Away (USA, 2002) - Swept Away (Italy, 1975)

So in conclusion. I hate Americans. I hate American movies (More so now than I did before) and from now on I shall shoot every American I meet. Watch out family, oh, and self.

Bye.

*Note to self, do not shoot Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Iggy Pop, Members of Incubus, Or Grandmother, otherwise you'll be cooking your own dinner in future*

Pardon me whilst I burst into flames.

2005-12-27T13:26:00.000Z

Intro; "Put the fucking lotion in the basket" Mike Einziger
I hate these things but I got one sent in an email so I decided to fill it out here, and then say a big 'fuck off' to anyone who sends me more in future, or I'll forward them to this page... like you do. *Christmas talk will be at end of post if you wish to forward to there*

Name: Ditchmaster Julio et Posse (Donna)
Birthday: November 21st for all you wankers that forgot...
Birthplace: Chelmsford, St. Johns
Current Location: Chelmford of Essex. House of Chelmsford. Bedroom of house. Chair of bedroom.
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Browny coppery blacky mass of tangles
Height: 5 8 or more, or less. I don't rightly know.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Well My Papa is Italian pure, he's a chef you kow. And me Mama was American, she had many jobs.
The Shoes You Wore Today: My veggie creations.
Your Weakness: Animals. Especially reptiles and cats, but all animals in general.
Your Fears: Tea. And heights on occasion.
Your Perfect Pizza: Not a huge fan of pizza but I'd eat a mushroom and sweetcorn pizza if I had to.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get a job. Find a cure for cold feet. Learn to fly a jet.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't IM often but at the moment probably hardcore, followed by rude words or exclamations of how 'hardcore' I actually am. Biatch.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Do I have a hangover? Did I drink last night? Am I still wasted? Am I hungry? Where are my socks?
Your Best Physical Feature: All of them? Lie. Everything but my nose. Too perfectly straight, makes me look evil from the side.
Your Bedtime: When I'm tired (Between 6am and 11pm on weekdays)
Your Most Missed Memory: I canny remember it :(
Pepsi or Coke: Neither. Stupid sugary fizzy drinks make me sick.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Greasy food is the devil. I will vote for neither as they both suck.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I have a phobia of tea. I wonder what thats called. Do you know?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla. Chocolate has a terrible aftertaste that leaves my throat feeling gungey.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee. Cappuccino is a breakfast drink. I'd much prefer a shot of whiskey though.
Do you Smoke: If offered. I never buy cigarettes, I have better things to spend my money on.
Do you Swear: Way too much.
Do you Sing: Badly, but yes, I do.
Do you Shower Daily: Impossible as I don't wake every day.
Do you Believe in God?: I believe in something. Whether it is a man with a beard, that's yet to be heard. It could be a woman with a beard, but yes, all in all, I do belive in beards. Next question!
Have you Been in Love: Yes.
Do you want to go to College: I've been to sixth form. This question should be 'Do you want to further your education?' that would make more sense. I shall answer my own questiona nd say, No, I do not.
Do you want to get Married: Maybe when I'm older.
Do you belive in yourself: Totally.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Nope. Although once I got sick in the teacup ride in a theme park because we'd just eaten revolting chips from burger king that come pre-salted. Eww. So yeah, maybe thats why I'm afraid of tea...
Do you think you are Attractive: Totally. Everythng but my nose, baybeee!
Are you a Health Freak: I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat butter or things cooked in oil. I don't eat fried or fast food, or drink fizzy drinks. I rarely eat bread. I don't eat sweet foods and I avoid chocolate, but thats all because of a dislike for those sorts of things. So in answer to your question; No, I am not really a health freak, I'm just a fussy eater.
Do you get along with your Parents: I don't live with my parents. I see my dad once a week for a short period of time. We get on pretty well, though. I live with my Nan. We argue alot. She annoys me, I annoy her, but someties we get on.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes. Yes, I do. I never used to. I used to hide under the pillows on the bed when there were thunderstorms, but that was only when I was alone i the house. I was young.
Do you play an Instrument: I've been able to play instrumants in the past, such as piano and guitar, but I can't make my hands do different things at the same time because I broke my arm really badly when I was younger and since have had alot of trouble with my left arm.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yesterday, actually. We had champagne for a late birthday treat for my big brother.
In the past month have you Smoked: No. I'm a good girl.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Soft Drugs.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I guess so, Yeah.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I've eaten maybe 4 oreos in the ast month. I savour them.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes. Day before christmas eve.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No. It's winter.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No. I might have dropped hints to get extra money, though.
Ever been Drunk: Duh? More times than I care to remember (or can remember)
Ever been called a Tease: Totally.
Ever been Beaten up: Yes. Stupid Chavs. How can you fight back, though? 100 of them, 1 of you... Dead.
Ever Shoplifted: No. I remember people thnking they were cool because they did. Eh? No. You just look like wankers. Unless your stealing for money to fuel a drug habit, then you're too cool...
How do you want to Die: After the best orgasm of my life.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: The guy who invented ketchup. I've modelled my life around that man...
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy. Never been. Or anywhere cold. I'm a cold bunny. Lapland might be nice. Or Iceland. One of those places where the people are all crazy... Newcastle? Not a chance...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Green/Brown.
Favourite Hair Color: I'm not prejudice.
Short or Long Hair: Long.
Height: Taller than I.
Weight: I dunno. Looking back, alot of my ex's have been on the skinny side. But there are always exceptions.
Best Clothing Style: Cothing style? Like, relaxed, I guess?
Number of Drugs I have taken: Quite a few, but in fairness I take very few any more. I've grown up. I'm not that 14 year old sitting in the park drinking vodka with a little bag of coke any longer. Of course, nowadays that would make me a chav, but back then I was just a fucked up teen.
Number of CDs I own: On last count, around 150, but we've just past my birthday and christmas, and I'm always bying myself new ones.
Number of Piercings: 15? Is that right? No. 14.
Number of Tattoos: None yet. Stupid gays at the tattoo place want ID, so I need to get ID to get an appointment for like 3 months time. Not likely. So I'll go to brighton I think. They've got a very big tattoo criteria up there.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I don't regret things. That causes wrinkles. Look at everything as experiences to learn from *Sounds so fucking retarded*.

Sorry about that. Anyway. Christmas. I do hope you all had a wonderful time. What did you get? I got some DVD's and books and stuff. A few bags and odd little bits. My brother went all out to get me Commander Venus CD's, which are very rare. So rare, in fact, that they aren't real, they're copies, but I love him all the same. He also bought me the Desaparecidos CD, which is amazing listening.

Nan got me a large buddha head, which is mega cool (I'd seen it a few weeks ago in a box and figured it must be for me). I also got Morning View Sessions (Hence the quotes), Dylan Moran live, and Max an dPaddy's Road to Nowhere. Mega cool, Boi!

Yeah, so christmas was a little straightforward. I've still got Tom's bitrd, Crackers. He came out today (Of the closet) and sat on my shoulder. Paul found this quite amazing,b ut Crackers wouldn't go near him. I bet he smells too rancid.

Robyn's invited me to hers for New Years. I'll take a bottle of champagne if we have any, which I think we may. I hate the stuff. The bubbles make me need to pee. but I've drunk 5 bottles since my birthday. One was pink. That was special.

I spent all Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day cooking. I did more than Nan. It was alright in retrospect, but I was tired afterwards. Then on Sunday (Christmas Day) I got a 15 minute break when everything was int he oven, or on the stove, and nothing neede dto be checked for 15 minutes, so I went and sat down, and then my cousin comes in and is all like 'let's open presents' so I had to get up and hand out all the presents, as I'm still the youngest. This would be fine if I hadn't been on my feet since 6am, and it was about 1.30, maybe 2. So I spent my break handing out presents and opening mine at an alarming rate, only to have to leave halfway through anyway to finish dinner. I don't mind the cooking. It's easy. I just hate the fact that I don't get a break, whilst everyone else is just sitting around on their arses. Veyr annoying.

but anyway. I'm going to go and get food as I've not eaten since breakfast yesterday, and I'm peckish.

I hope you all had a wicked christmas, and If I don't post, a happy new year, too. Goodbye.
xxx

"What if every time you went out with a girl, your penis was sticking out of your zipper in your pants, and it was shooting a constant stream of pee that led you to wherever you had to go and it could be a stream of pee that you could follow to find where you came from incase you got lost in the forest or something" Mike Einziger (again)

It's all gone Pete Tong... It's just all gone Pete Tong...

2005-12-22T17:33:00.000Z

I went shopping with Tom today, to bluewater. Tom bought me a half of a christmas present, which was Hypnotize by System of a Down. It's by far one of the best looking CD's I've seen for a very long time. It's stunning. Everything about it is just so wacky. I'm impressed. I hope it's not like that to make up for a poor 'Steal This Album' type mix of music.

I bought myself 2 Smiths albums, one of which I was told by the guy behind the counter is 'A very good album, that, yeah, very good.' Fucking stoners. I also bought myself Essential The Clash, which has many of my favourite Clash tracks.

On the DVD front I bought myself Oldboy, the movie I've been raving about since I saw it about 2 or 3 months ago. Amazing Korean movie. Quite gory in places. Made me cringe, which is a feat. Will be watching that tonight. I bought myself Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Shotgun Special Edition) because my copy has gone missing since I began moving my DVD's upstairs. I'm thinking maybe Paul's stolen it, but I'm sure he probably has it. You watch it show up now I've bought a new one.

And, I bought myself 'It's All Gone Pete Tong' which is a movie about Frankie Wilde, the deaf DJ. Me and Paul were going to get it out of blockbusters to see it, but they were all out, so I think we settled for Oldboy and Wimbledon (THE HORROR!!!). But now I have it. I've been wanting to see it. Should be quite enjoyable as I do like that sort of thing.

On another note I downloaded an iPod Artwork getterer. It goes onto Amazon and gets album art to go onto iTunes and in turn onto my iPod, which is working fine now, by the way.

I told Tom I would look after Crackers whilst He's away over Christmas, so I think I may have a bird for a couple of days. No problem, really. Should be fun, I've not taken care of a bird since Cornflake, or Bill and Ted, my birds from childhood. Of course, birds of recent have been scaring the crap out of me, but I've been told that Crackers doesn't fly much since his accident (fractured wing, poor thing) so it should be good. Just gotta keep Mr. Jesse of James away for a while. Easy? I think not.

It's Christmas Eve the day after tomorrow. That means it's christmas day in three days. How fast has this year gone? I remember at the stat of year 12 thinking 'Oh, 2 more years in education then it's off to get a job', then in the beginning of year 13 I was thinking 'My, only one more year before job', and now I'm thinking 'Shit, I've got to grow up in a few months'. This isn't fun anymore.

One quick question. what does the little yellow exclamation mark sticker mean on CD's from HMV?

Today I bought Tom the Will Young album. That is the second time I've bought it in a week and a half, neither time I've had to keep it, luckily, but both times it's been quite embarrassing. Well, it is Will Young. But, the cool thing is, I got it for £8.99 when all the stickers on all the other CD's said £9.99, but the CD had been priced wrong on the front and the back, so I got a brand new album for a pound off... How very sad am I for caring about a pound when Tom spent £3 more on me for my present than I spent on him? Gosh, how cheap am I? I'll have to buy him a more expencive CD for his second half of christmas present, and he can buy me Black Cherry for like £6.99 or whatever from Woolworths.

The boy with the thorn in his side.

I'm going to go and watch a DVD now. I bid you all a merry christmas, and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Goodbye to all.

XXX

The Music of 50 Cent is so INSPIRING! It inspires me to want to shoot myself.

2005-12-18T09:09:00.000Z

I just heard Franz Ferdinands new track. Better than that last monstrosity they released. Do you want to? No I do not. Now fuck off and die you whore.

I'm listening to Are Friends Electric by Tubeway Army. Incase you'd like to know that. But I'm going to change it and put Guided by Voices on.

I went shopping yesterday. I did most of my christmas shopping. I need to go in town today to pick up a CD from Slipped Disk because they had the disk and not the case yesterday, so they spent half an hour searching the entire shop, then gave up and rang the other shop to get it in. No problem. It's a potential present for Rachel depending how much it'll cost. If it's too much, I'll keep it for myself and buy her something else to go with the present I've already got her.

I need to buy something for my Nan and for my dad. Any ideas? I bought my Dad socks last year. I'm determined not to do it again. And Nan I don't know about. I'm going to buy her some flowers, but I want an actual gift. I'm thinking a CD maybe. Dunno.

I'm going to do the wrapping this evening and take in the school presents tomorrow. Except Tom's , because we're going shopping for presents on Thursday and I'll buy his then. Last year he bought me a Led Zeppelin poster. This year we're buying each other 2 CD's. I know one of mine will be SOAD's new one. Dunno what else I'll get though. Maybe The Strokes. Is that Out yet? Or Giant Drag. I've been listening to them alot lately. Kevin is Gay. Meow.

On Friday we went to see The Chronicles of Narnia. It was pretty cool. I did enjoy it. It's got James McAvoy in it, who was in Inside I'm Dancing, which I enjoyed at the cinema last year, around the same time that I apparently saw The Village, too. I don't remember, but I do remember jumping at the red bit.

Anyway, Narnia wasn't as good as I remember it from the theatre. I forget where I saw it. I'm positive it wasn't in London, cos I dunno if they've done it there, but I saw it somewhere. I've also seen Starlight Express, Chicago, Beauty and the Beast, and something or other on ice. I'm thinking the ice one might have been a dream.

Like that dream I had where I flew over the moon, and then I realised, a few months ago, that it can't have been real, and it was the most distraught feeling ever.

I'm working for a cash machine. Hard-Fi. I dunno. I like em. I do. But they remind me a little of the streets, who I also like, but I liked because they were unique.

I'm eating pumpkin seeds. Yesterday I was bought pomegranate green tea. I'm phobic of tea. Nobody seems to understand this. AFRAID OF TEA! SCARED OF IT! Teabags as well. Mugs, bleugh. I can't even put milk in coffee because of the thought of the milk being warmed with something brown. Ick. I like Coffee though. But I have one mug that I can use. I'd love to work in Starbucks, but I could never touch the mugs. Otherwise, it'd be fun. Imagine being around all that coffee all day long... yum.

I may try and get a job (eventually) in waterstones. You get 20% discount, not as good as some stores, but better than others. Also, you get a discount in HMV, which is great because I ike books and music, and I can also get movies, which are like, three really good things. Of course, I'd like to go into waterstones and start finding my way around places. I know where everything is in Ottakars, but Waterstones is a mystery to me. I can workdownstairs, but I always get lost upstairs. It's cleaner though, in my opinion.

I've got a peach smoothie. How jealous are you?

Emmie's been eating everything today. I normally give her a Cod Liver Oil capsule, but today her and Muffin both had one of those, and an evening primrose and Straflower, and now Emmie's eating pumpkin seeds. Some cats'll eat anything.

So now I'm going to go and do stuff. I'll speak to you again soon, oh wonderous blog of mine.

**EDIT**

After a long day in town I've come home to find that Slipped Disk have given me a CD that I didn't even ask for. After asking for, and specifically stating that I wanted Cibo Matto, Japanese Indie rock female duo, I was given Tutto Matto, Italian club/hip-hop stylie dance/disco music by a male duo.

Now I'm sorry, but what? I paid £13.99 for this? Although, I did get a free CD. I have thought about taking it back, but after listening to the first few tracks, I decided to keep it, as it's not that terrible. And I feel a little bad about getting them to search the whole shop then ring another place to get it bought to them for me. Even if it is wrong...

The first track, 7.36 of pure disco classique named Welcome To The Marble Room sounds like some real disco garbage puked up by a doped up hippy wearing a giant ginger afro. But it's quite amusing in a novelty type way.

I guess Cibo Matto are as rare as I thought. The only song people ever know by them is Sugar Water because it seems to be on a Buffy soundtrack. Well I'm sorry, but I own no Buffy soundtracks and never paid that much attention to the tv series. I know them after being introduced to them by a friend who is terribly into the whole 'dream-pop' and 'indie-rock' genre. Fucking hippies.

So yeah, I'm a little disappointed, but after finding no recollection of them in HMV, why would I find them in slipped disk, really? I mean, I'm yet to find CocoRosie's first album in either shop, but at least HMV stock their recent one, which is more than I can say for Slipped Disk.

And now iTunes won't recognise the free CD, which is apparently a remix album by Tutto Matto which has NO fucking track listings anywhere. How shitty. So the free 'Butt Funkin' Exclusive DJ Set From Tutto Matto' (Direct quote from CD) doesn't have track names.

Stupid Slipped Disk... and to make matters worse, they didn't give me a receipt.

Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what ought to be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.

2005-12-13T20:05:00.000Z

I've got some 'You are what you eat' thing on in the background as I write this. Something about Michelle McManus (*giggles*... Anus). Like I care. I'm a 'fucking vegetarian'.

Tom let me wear his hat all day. I don't know whether it suits me or not, but I like wearing hats.

I think I've got a cold. I've been sneezing alot the past few hours, and a bit during school, too. And my throat is a bit fucky. Wonderful!

Oh, today we came to the conclusion that I have a magic arse. It's not like a magic lamp, where you rub it and a genie pops out, because that would be strange. But we were snapping my perspex for my art, and I had to sit on it. It snapped perfect, no shattering. Oh, love me, love my wonderful, magical backside, biatch.

I don't think I'm big-headed. I don't think I'm in love with myself. I think Robyn and Rachel and George and others make it up.

I got my iPod to work. The past few days it's having the battery run all down because we watch some music videos and then it dies. It doesn't last that long really, in retrospect. But I just charged it all up, so fingers crossed it'll last all day tomorrow.
It died on Monday because of Jay's obsession with watching Thriller 7 million times. And it died today because Robyn watched a load of my music videos, Rachel and I watched black books, episode 1 (The best ever, in my opinion), And then George watched The Hot Chick, which she claimed to be better than White Chicks, and in a way, it is. Iyt's alot funnier, but the humour is pretty sparse, wheras in white chicks, it's all the way through. I think Rob Schneider was alot funnier in Deuce Bigalo. But the Wayans brothers are funnier in white chicks than in Scary movie (except the bit where one of them rolls up into a spliff and the weed smokes him, that's a beautiful bit of cinema, right there. Like art. Stunning).

Yeah, I'm sure I've got a cold. I'm all sneezy. I got home from school today, and I'm glad Tom wasn't coming, too, because I just slept. I don't know why, but I felt quite tired today. Maybe because I haven't done anything, which I can't help. I kind of get bored when I don't have lessons, and we all just sit around. It's OK for an hour or so, but I had three hours today, which is about avergae, if not a little below par. And then there's break and lunch, too. And my lessons today were Psychology, where Sally was ill, bless her, and Art, where we did very little but sit upon perspex with my magical arse, and then sit and draw. Oh, and argue with Mr Foley about getting the perspex cut. God forbid. Bill point blank refused. Wanker. I don't understand why using a *Banshee* is going to shatter the plastic, whereas it being snapped in half by a retard (Mr. Wadwell... Meant with love...) and moi is not.

The Last of The Famous International Playboys

*Dances*

*Sneezes*

Yeah, I really want to go back to bed. Nan woke me for dinner, which was some strange vegetable crumble which I didn't enjoy. It had parsnips and potatoes and onions and carrots and swede and was topped with oats and a little cheese. It didn't taste like anything. Doesn't beat last nights beatuiful Thai food. I love Thai. My favourite food of all, but few people like it, so we never go out as a group for it, cept with Paul and Hannah. I didn't even get it for my birthday, I had to have chinese, which I always find very greasy, so I had coconut rice and salmon for my birthday meal.

I like coconut. And peaches. Yay, lets talk about food. My favourite food is Thai. And peaches, which I can't eat. Rachel's favourite is Apples, cheese and chinese, which is cool, cos it rhymes. I like cheese, but I don't think of it as a favourite food. I like carrots. Oh, and peas are my favourite vegetable.

I remember Rachel and My hour long conversation about cheese and other foods. We sat on my bed and chatted about cheese. Sad or what?

She's getting Michelle McManus to eat fish. Mackrel. I hate Mackrel. I like, however, fresh sardines. They're cool. We caught one, once. We gave it to a fisherman and I think he used it as bait. How gay. Robyn's a dyke.
*Whispers* 'I think Robyn fancies me'
*Giggles*

This entry is utter wank. I remember when I went through a stage of losing my funny and writing wank. I'm very sorry. It's kind of gay, I guess.

GASP

2005-12-07T20:45:00.000Z

God I am pissed off. I got my video iPod yesterday (did I mention I was buying one? Sold my old one to Rachel, I did). Anyway. I tried this afternoon to put some video's into iTunes and the whole thing fucked up. Freezes up. Stupid gay. It wouldn't even open without freezing, so I had to totally uninstall everything iPod/iTunes related and start all over again, putting my music on (6000 songs) in stages because I didn't want it to freeze again.

Done and dusted. Great. iTunes full of music. I then plugged in me new iPod and let it update. So now I have a brand new 60 gb video iPod with music on. Great! So then I decided, about an hour ago, to put video's into it. Why not? It is a video iPod after all, right?

Aparently iTunes hates me. I figured it'll only take a few of my video files (not AVI like Tom once told me) so I decided to upload a couple MPG music video's I have. I tried one (Adam and the Ants, hardcore nigga rap, biatch... not) and it wouldn't work, so then I tried another, and it worked OK. So I figure maybe that one was just too hardcore for iTunes. Anyway, I did another and it seemed to be working no problem, so I then decided to try and upload 10. Nope, iTunes didn't like. Same thing's happened as earlier. The second I open it it freezes, unless I restart, then it'll be OK for, I don't know, about 3 seconds, long enough to put on a song from the beginning of my library, but then it freezes. WANKER.

I'm too lazy to contemplate doing anything about it right now. I've been reading articles on the net and decided the video iPod probably shouldn't be used for video's, as it's utterly wank. Cost me £300 that did.

The only thing I can think of doing is doing what I did earlier, but that took too long, and no doubt the next time I attempt to update my iPod it'll take an hour or so because it'll have to update everything all over again. I don't know what Apple's problem is, but they royally suck. I'm half considering giving Rachel the video one and keeping my 20 gb. It doesn't hold all my music, but at least it works.

Shut up! Shut Up! This song is all about me!

2005-12-04T12:21:00.000Z

This entry is going to be mainly photos. I'm going to use them as a means for everyone to peek into the mystical life of Donna. Enjoy.

This is me. I like this image. Gemma took it when I first got my phone and first had my hair done an awful long time ago (March). I'm wearing Tom's coat. Gemma said I looked Emo. I'd have to disagree and say I look more chavvy than Emo, because I don't want to look like I'm about to slit my wrists with depression. I have better things to do with my blood, i.e. feed it to small animals and make an army of me.

This is one of my favourite bands, Incubus. My other favourite bands/singers include (in no specific order); R.E.M, Bright Eyes, Coldplay (older stuff), The Clash, Ani DiFranco, 808 State, Leftfield, Air, Hot Hot Heat, PJ Harvey, David Bowie, Santana, Prince, System of a Down, Iggy Pop (with The Stooges), The Beatles, The Smiths, New York Dolls, Blondie, and many others that I can't remember right now. I really enjoy music, and don't tend to stick with one style for very long, one minute I'd listen to Leftfield, and Aphex twin, the next, CocoRosie and Joanna Newsom, then I could go completely crazy and listen to Atreyu for a month. OK, so I don't like Pop music, so shoot me.

This is Jay. I know many other people, too, but I don't know how they'd feel about me putting up their pictures. I'm pretty sure Jay wouldn't mind with this one, as it is a class picture. Yes, he does have boobs. I'm pretty sure they were Byron's Birthday Balloons, though, but I'd hate to say for certain...
On my Birthday, Jay ate a bubble. I have a picture, but it merely looks like he's trying to eat his little finger in a strangely suggestive manner... scary.

These are the Lost Boys from Peter Pan. Peter Pan is myfavourite Disney movie, even if he is blatantly gay and wears tights. Who cares? He can fly! Is that not every childs dream, to fly? Mine was. And so that is why Peter Pan is so magical to me. Oh, yeah and I have a friend (in my head) who looks like Tinkerbell, but her name is Connie, she is my Complex, my spoilt child, but my gosh, she's so cool.

These are Lollerskates. Need I say more?

This is Jesse Curtain Creature. He is a baby, still, although he's nearly three. This is an amazing picture. I have four cats (one is a rabbit), one lizard (who is being moody because he's about the shed), and two fish, anmed after the amazing Ed and Edd from Ed, Edd and Eddy. Not I shall not get an Eddy. Eddy is horrible. He's ugly and gross and makes me mad. But Ed is funny and Edd is smart.

This is Jesus the Rabbit (Alias C4). She is a major inventor in the drug-free snack food industry. She's invented such top-shelf sellers as;
'Jesus the Rabbit's Magical Drug-Free Happy Pies'
and;
'Jesus the Rabbit's No-More-Drugs Hallucinogen Fags'
and the ever popular;
'Jesus the Rabbit's Vegetarian Shroom 'n' Prune flavoured Groovy-Gravy'

These are two friends of mine. Yes, they are Chickens, and Yes, they do have afro's. I have a pet chicken who's name is Wook Wook. These two lovebirds are Wook Wook's Mummy and other Mummy (they are Lesbian Chickens), their names are Gloria Esterfan and Margaret Thatcher.
Say Hello Gloria and Margeret!

This is a Rasta Smurf, who I recently met on my brief trip to Jamaica. He offered me some 'Ganja Ceek' which I had to turn down because I was just about to pilot an airplane to Tortuga. Instead, I offered him a rasher of 'Beer-Can' and we had a swell time discussing the qualities of the Jamaican economy. Big up the Rasta Smurf Massive.*

'Now who can tell me what famous person wrote the declaration of independence? Let's see, oh I know, how about the new student, Timmy?'
'Timmy!'
'No, it wasn't you Timmy, try again.'
'Heee-ay'
'Timmy, did you not do your homework?'
'Timmy.'
'Uh, Mr Garrison, haven't you figured it out, Timmy's retarded.'
'Don't call people names, Stanley.'

*This blog entry is not meant to offend in any way.
Also, Donna does not have permission to use most of these pictures, if you do have an queries, don't direct them to me, because I just don't care.

Masterchef: Jeffrey Dahmer

2005-12-01T18:26:00.000Z

I have one quick question that's just popped into my mind after watching my American Psycho DVD, not that it's anything really to do with American Psycho, I just saw the blood and began to wonder.

If you were a cannibal, and you were to take a victim with AIDS, or who was HIV positive, would you catch the desease if you were to cook the meat before you ate it?

Normal? What other man makes soldiers for his runny egg and orders them in rank?

2005-11-28T13:30:00.000Z

Oh my gosh. I just got off the plane. Well, a few hours ago, but you know. The plane landed at 8.15 ish, and I got home about 10.30. I've been watching Black books and sleeping, oh, and I had a fishfinger sandwich. This is my life so far... *Runs fingers through hair leaving slick finger patterns*... Ahhh, bisto.

So Monday was my birthday, no change there, you all knew that.

Tuesday we flew to North Carolina. The flight was at 11 something, so we were supposed to leave at 7.30, but I got out of bed at 7.15, when Nan called up the stairs to tell me that the taxi man had arrived. So we were a little behind. The plane landed at about 7 pm-ish, which is about 2 pm America time. Then by the time we got up to the mountains of Lake Lure (Bald Mountain) it was about 6ish (America Time), but 11ish English time, and I'd not eaten since 10ish English time, so I was a tad starving. But we ate, and we slept, and I woke up revitalised... yeah, right.

Wednesday, the day before the day where we give thanks to pilgrims and Indians and homosexuals in panther outfits. So we went to Ingles (a supermarket) which is the closest food store to my Aunt Jody's place which is high up in the mountains (not good since I'm kind of strange with heights, and the car drives dangerously close to the edge of a 3000 foot drop... yeah). Then we began to cook. I made banana bread with peanut butter, so it was peanut butter banana bread, which was strangely nicer in the middle of the loaf, rather than the edges where it got a little dry. I also made cranberry orange bread, which was nice, too. And then I went to sit down and write a psychology essay, but I got bored so I went back to the kitchen and we cooked other stuff.

Thursday, the day of thanks. We prepared food and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was terrible, but there was a huge Spongebob Squarepants, so who am I to argue? Chuck and Nan (Nan's Brother and his wife) arrived at about midday. We ate at about 6. We were all full of turkey (except me) and stuffing. Then we had either pumpkin pie or chocolate pecan pie. I had chocolate because pumpkin is yucky. I was full of food and in need of a sleep. so off we all went to bed.

Friday, the day after the day of thanks. Me, Nan (My Grandmother), Chuck, Nan (Chuck's Wife, I'll call her Nanette for less confusion, as that is her name), Jody and Kurt all went to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville. It's the mansion that belonged to some extremely rich and spoilt member of the Vanderbilt's. It was all pretty drab except from the walls of the basement area, which were painted bright yellow with really brilliant pictures of women dancing and doing their daily duties (hanging out washing, etc.) I guess if it was actually there when the place was still owned by it's original spoilt Vanderbilt, the room must have been painted by the servants, because it was so brilliantly different to every other room, and it was in the middle of the servants quarters. Nan bought champagne from the mansions winnery, and we all got very drunk, and by 'all' I mean Nanette. Jody gdrank a load, too, and laughed her head off when I said obviously, saying;
'I must practice my English speaking... 'Obviously'... 'Obviously' *putting on faked English accent, then blatant American accent* ... Do I sound English?'
'No, No you do not.'
Also, if you ever hear Chuck talk, you'll notice that he kind of sounds like Owen Wilson, the actor, so when he commented about giving me the entire bottle of champagne with a straw, and then said, in his very amusing accent;
'You are going to get soooooo wasted.'
I laughed my fucking head off. And no, I wasn't drunk. I guess it's the fact that he said wasted, of course, I did overhear him and my Nan having a conversation about magic mushrooms. Weird.

Saturday. No, I have no hangover. I never get hangovers, and no, I am not an alcoholic. I just get hungry. But thats another story. Saturday we went to an antiquey place, I bought Rachel some earrings, as she didn't ask for any food. Which reminds me, some of the food on the list I couldn't get because they either don't sell it in the mountains, or they don't sell it in the south, and yes, North Carolina is still the South. But I'm pretty sure I got everything I could, and I'm sure there is something for everyone.

Sunday. Yesterday. We went to places where I don't remember where they were. Oh yeah, we went to the blue ridged mountains, of which I have pictures on my dead mobile phone. I'll post them later or something. There was ice and stuff. Then we went to a restaurant and I had a catfish sandwich, seriously, it was yummy. Then we were at the airport. I had a starbucks. America make coffee craply, even in starbucks. Stupid American spotty bastard stood there squeezing his left nut whilst he spat in my coffee. I'm kidding, of course, it was his right nut.

Which brings me to today. I've slept one hour since Saturday night, and I'm on the verge of dying. But at the same time, I feel light headed and googly. I haven't taken my pills, and the airplane left an unmistakable feeling of my head being in a vice, for 8 hours. But now it's over, and I'm home, my cats have forgiven me for leaving them, and Emmie is even purring next to me, now. She's so pretty.

So yeah. I'll bring in food tomorrow. I'm going to have a little nap now, and then a shower, then go to bed. It's 2pm. This entry took me about 20 minutes to write because I can't seem to find the right keys to type. I'm losing. To bed I go, to watch black books and cry with laughter at Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey, and that Lesbian girl.

Diaphragm

2005-11-21T20:14:00.000Z

A quite note to say that today was my birthday and I had a lovely day. Thank you everybody for my presents, and I look forward to playing the snes when I get back from America (I'd love to play it tonight but I'm literally taking a moments break from packing to write this).
And tomorrow I'm off to America. I've got my orders to buy all these candy bars and stuff. So I'll do my best. I've got loads of space in my suitcase.
Love Donna
xxx
P.s. Thanks again to everyone for a wicked birthday and all my presents.

Beck owns your family now...

2005-11-16T17:10:00.000Z

I normally update once a week, but for some odd reason I felt like I wanted to update today. Rachel, Robyn and I aree going to the cinema tomorrow for my birthday. We might see Corpse Bride if it's on, even though I've seen it, but the pirate sucked jelly beans, really. Or I'd like to see Zorro 2, even though I find Catherine Zeta Jones an utter drag queen, but I like Antonio Banderas, and Zorro is cool in a sort of 'popular yet not entirely shit' type way, like Santana.

I've found a new director I like. I've always enjoyed films by Tim Burton, 'cos he's all wacky and quirky about things, even if Planet of the apes totally wanked all over my tissue. This new guy is Chris Cunningham. I've known of his stuff since I saw a few of his music videos back in 2000/1999, like ones for Leftfield and for Portishead. He's also directed some Aphex twin videos, and some Squarepusher ones too... God I love myself. He also directed the music video for Madonna's 'Frozen' which I think is the one with her with black hair, but of course, I'm just babbling now. And some Bjork ones too. He worked on special effects for Artificial Intelligence: AI, and Alien:Resurrection. (Am I trying to sell him to you now, or what?) So yeah, all in all he's pretty cool.

I made brownies on Monday, which was so fecking random. They were huge and black like Meatloaf dipped in a steaming pile of shit.

What is wrong with me today? Insane in the membrane. INSANE IN THE BRAIN.

I'm listening to Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation. Some strange Led Zeppelin wannabe failure type thing with Robert Plant. So I guess instead of it being a failure of a Zepp tribute type band, he's created a whole new band with a whole different sound, which is actually not too bad. Like when Queen reformed without Freddy Mercury. It's like... HUH? Freddy Mercury was Queen. All you bastards in the back, you work for him. And he's dead, so you now work for nobody. You are unemployed, hornless toads who cannot get girlfriends/wives because your dicks are too small... HA!

Did I tell you I lost my phone? Well I found it. Byron was trying to steal it. He's such a hardcore girl scout. But Jay caught him and spanked him hard, my phone fell out of his arsehole, and I got it back, in one piece, if covered only sparcely with lubricant and shite.

And it's my birthday on Monday next week. You know this. I shall entry write on that day, to tell you how it was, and to say goodbye, for I am off to America, which you also know, to hit the homeless with bats made of gold, and spank their parents with wet fish.

This entry really should be poetry. Don't you think? It has all the humour of a small child dying of Cavaties.

Oh, Robyn passed her test. CONGRATULATIONS! I was worried, because I knew she took it on Friday, but she didn't tell either Rachel or I how it went, so we were really worried. But then she came in and was like 'I'm a driving girl now' and we were like 'Yay, congratulations' and she was like 'Thanks' and we were like 'Yeah'.
So she's been driving us places, and I'm giving her money for each trip as it's only fair on her, really.
Also, Kirsty passed her test today. CONGRATULATIONS! I'm very proud. People are passing tests and driving. Almost inspires me to become one of those people who throws themselves of a bridge infront of cars in a bid to relieve themselves of the pain and torture of having to learn to drive. But I think twice and decide it isn't worth it.

My Uncle is currently visiting from Teneriffe. He's pretty cool. I think I mentined this so I won't go into too many details.

So now all that's left is for Tee to pass her test (God forbid). Rachel needs to start driving lessons, I guess, if she wants to learn to drive. Same with Tom. And Magical Catherine and Mystical Charlotte. Can you drive yet? hmmm. Yuri can drive, nto that I care, he has an escort, am I correct? Ha... poor bastard. Kirsty has a micra... I mean, really? At least Robyn has a car worth mentioning. A Citroen C3. I mean, I'd personally have gone for a C4 if I wanted a Citroen. It's the name of my cat (Jesus the rabbit's name is C4) and the advert involves the car turning into a robot and dancing to Les Rhythmes Digitales - Jacques your body (Make me sweat) from their 1999 album DarkDancer. I'm sorry, there is no better car. But I saw the advert for the C3 last night and decided that it wasn't that bad in comparison.

Also, today, I walked out of my graphics lesson and have decided to drop the subject. I'm no longer enjoying it (like I ever really was) and the teachers are being wank about me needed to work in a seperate room because of my migraines. Well i'm sorry if your lights are 'burning my retina' as Gemma says. But you don't have treat me like dirt because I'm working seprarately. I'm nearly 18/ I do not need a minder constantly. I can be left to get on in my own time, but no. So i'm giving up. I guess that makes me a quitter, but at least I'm a damn sexy quitter with more piercings than you, whore.

This has been a reasonably long entry. I'm sorry. But I feel I've now actually infromed you of stuff, whereas my last entry was 'all about the punk'.

So now I say goodbye. You are an inpiration to me, all of you out there. Everyone who reads this entry. I love you, and God bless you. I'm not even being sarcastic. I'm being real fos once in my life.

So take care, and until next time, goodbye friends (and foes).

xxx

I Wanna Be Sedated Note, this entry is bollocks, read at your own peril

2005-11-12T18:13:00.000Z

Sheena is a punk rocker. And so am I... Lies.

My Uncle has come all the way over from Teneriffe to see us. He arrived yesterday. His hair is slightly longer, his words slightly more slurred. Dennis is here!

I met a guy on the bus who said he was Elvis. I remember meeting someone on a tube who said he was Jesus. Now I need to meet Hitler, and my dreams have totally come true... Yeah.

For those of you who know Punk, you will probably have guessed I'm listening to The Ramones. Also today I have listened quite intently to The Clash, as they were the better band in the whole 'Clash vs Pistols' thing. And, unfortunately, I've lost my Pistols album.
But really, folks. The Clash are better. I know nobody will argue, because you either don't have the brain power, the guts, or you just plain don't care. Or, you care, and smell like a fishmonger after a hot day in the sun being chased by 5000 cats, and so therefore need to bathe for an hour and a half, by which time you will be too tired to argue, and too comfortable to care, while you climb into bed and put the clash on your stereo, as you know deep down in your hearts that they are the better band, yadda yadda yadda.

We're going to the Siam Cottage in about 45 minutes for a meal out. Not my idea. It means I'll have to put on something smart... Fuck that. Bauhaus t-shirt and jeans me thinks. Bauhaus. A totally underestimated band. They didn't just cover Bowie, and I'll have you know, Bowie covered them too, but they truly did some pretty good tracks, tracks I would be proud of.

But, of course, I'd be proud of the ability to write a song. I can't write anything except terrible poetry and the odd paragraph long story that ends in the death of a small boy via tea or a shark, or something equally stupid. I just remembered something. Equakky. Private thing. Only two people would remember that. It's kind of gay really. The whole thing stemmed from my sincere inability to use a keyboard. And one of the people who understand it I don't talk to anymore, which I guess is sort of shitty because there were some good times. And the other person is a smelly old turd boy who I still talk to and who may even read this.

Hi smelly old turd boy! *waves*

(It was pronounced Ex-Quack-Ee)

What other Bands can I talk about. Ani DiFranco, the Alanis Morissette-esque bisexual? Greenday's terrible 'Punk' stylings. Blink 182, for the same reasons as Greenday? Bright Eyes' strange but beautiful lyrics? Nine inch nails uber-cool soundings? Coldplay, who i find extremely boring and dull, but at the same time, really very talented and cool geezers? Or Oasis, who meerly suck in general?

None of them. No more music.

In other news, Mr. Wadwell never got his homework. Haha. I don't care.

Note; this entry has been about absolutely nothing but the punk music. And the odd offering of something more quizzically engineered. Now I'm just making things up. This entry is bollocks. Perhaps I should have written that at the beginning.

Jesus says hello. and by Jesus I mean my cat, C4, obviously, as the real Jesus died after being hit by a bus just three days ago. I'll miss you, Jesus. I hope you go to heaven, and I'll buy you a muffin when I see you next.

xxx

Jonny Lee Miller quoting something about Sean Connery, whilst two old ladies die of a stroke

2005-11-07T19:50:00.000Z

Die, another day.

So yeah. I've got homework due in tomorrow. Sorry Mr. Wadwell, it's not gonna happen. However, Thursdays homework just might.

Of course I hadn't the time to do it this weekend, as I wasn't home. I went to see Magical Mystical Robyn (who snores). Byron (Bryony, Byrony, James) came too (he also snores). Rachel was there (she's moody and whores for absolutely nothing) as was her sister, Ms. Charlotte of Rowley (She's blonde... Need I say more?)

Actually it was pretty cool. Byron (Bryony, Byrony, James) and I stayed for the whole time, whereas whorey Rachel and Blonde Charlotte went home. We sat on Saturday (Sat-urday... That was smart) and watched loads of movies, including trainspotting, the village, and some others. Byron (Bryony, Byrony, James) 'Owned' me at chess, but I 'owned' him at checkers. Listen to me, I'm getting home with the downies, boi.

Yeah

I made cake. It was black forrest flavoured.

C4 says hello (Her real name is Jesus and she is a rabbit, inventor of 'Jesus the Rabbit's Magical Drug-Free Happy Pies' and 'Jesus the Rabbit's No-More-Drugs Hallucinogen Fags', which also come in pill form)

I'm listening to Coltrane... Because I'm so hardcore.

Last week was a real whorehouse.

Which reminds me of a joke.

'What did the dyslexic pimp buy?
A Warehouse'

Get it. Because a pimp would buy a whorehouse... Yeah. Rachel didn't get it either. But I cound it funny. Also,

'Two snowmen are talking, let's, for arguments sake, call them Twat-Face and Burger-Hut. Anyhow, Twat-face, inadvertantly turns to Burger-Hut mid-sentence and rudely disrupts him, by saying 'Sorry to interrupt you old chap, but do you smell carrots?'

Get it. 'Cos snowmen have carrots for noses... I found it funny. Although I did add to that joke,. and as far as I'm concerned, made it a few degrees mfunnier by adding words such as 'Twat' and 'Burger' and 'Homie'.

... And now I'm going to go to bed as I'm feeling tired and cold... yes it is 8pm, but it doesn't stop me feeling tired. So G'Bye my lovelies....

This is for you, Kirsty... Fucking Ugly Mingers

2005-11-01T17:18:00.000Z

Well, I'm feeling a little strange today. I don't know why. I'm cold and stuff, I guess. My lizard is 14 weeks yesterday and 11 inches. He's so sweet.

My book isn't going by very fast. Robyn's taking her damn time doing the illustarations, but she did some today which were pretty good, so I'm pleased.

So this weekend is Robyn's party. It's gonna be fun. Rachel is going to fix my drinks, because she wants me drunk. I will not puke again...

I'm going shopping tomorrow to buy some stuff, including a stupid flight case which is giong to cost me anything between £40 and £60. All this for art? I'm not sure if it's worth it, you know?

I've also figured out what tattoos I'll be getting for my birthday. But I'm not telling anyone but Rachel, because it's a magnificent secret. And I might chicken out.

Which reminds me, it's my birthday on November 21st. And then on November 22nd I'm flying out to North Carolina for thanksgiving. THE most vegetarian-friendly holiday in the world, bar, of course, christmas. NOT. But my aunt says they're be plenty of veggies, so I guess I'll live. Stupid veegetarian pact thing. New Years Day, I'm eating a fucking steak. Infront of a fucking vegetarian if I can find one. Actually, I don't want meat anymore. it actually tastes disgusting in memory. Except, obviously, steak, and chicken.

*Turns on radiator*

So, what else have I got to write about? I had last week off school. Went to town on Monday, came home in the evening and went to bed. I woke up on Wednesday evening. What a sleep! I'm back to my old ways.

I've been having these weird dreams. They're like a little story. I've had four in three days. And they all join together. Each dream is like a day. But I'm me in a renaissance (sp?) type boys mind, in the body of me, as if I were a boy. Does that make sense? Anyway, I keep going to this place to meet someone who's being dropped off of a horse somewhere, but evertime I go there I get distracted, and arrive late, but find out this person wasn't dropped off today. I hope I get another installment, and I hope I find out who this person is. Last night I was distracted by trying to reset the clock on the village hall, which happens to be right next to the 'horse drop off' place.

Also, I found out last night that the wax worms I feed to my dragon don't die. They turn black, and I figured it'd died, so I put them in one big clear box, and set them on the side to put them in the garden. But They weren't dead. They'd cacooned up. And there were two moths frying around in the tub yesterday. So that's where moths come from I guess. I think I thought they were born like daddy long legs. Right from the ground. I dunno. But I put them outside last night, and it rained, and the whole tub got drowned. So I think I maye have killed the cacoons. Ooops. Bad vegetarian.

And yesterday was halloween. And Catherine and Charlotte's birthday's. So Happy Birthday for the two of you. Also, this is a picture of the pumpkin that I carved out last night. What'dya think? Weird, huh? Anyways. I'm off now. Goodbye. xxx

*Donna was listening to The Fiery Furnaces - Blueberry Boat, and CocoRosie - La Maison De Mon Reve during the writing of this entry. But, of course, you didn't really need to know that*

Access Granted... I'm off to see Jobe...

2005-10-23T11:48:00.000+01:00

I just got a snes Emulator. I guess that's what it's called. It came with like a million and a half roms. Listen to me! I have no idea what I'm saying.

I got this little thing which enables me to play snes games on my pc. The snes games came with it. There's a hell of alot of them. like, a few hundred at least. I got really excited because I used to have a snes, and a few hundred games too. So I figured I'd try and get hold of a few of my favourites. The one that stands out the most in my memory is Lawnmower Man, because we spent hours and hours trying to complete the damn thing with no luck. The big orange head at the end (which we called Jobe. I know there is a Jobe in Lawnmower Man. I guess he must be him) always defeated us.

But what magical game came with me little thingy? Lawnmower Man. I was just playing it. It's by far the most random game ever. I'd get onto a new little level bit and be like;
'I totaly remember this bit.'
And then the car would run me over and I'd be like;
'Yeah, I totally forgot that happened.'

I will now try and get pilot wings, by far the stupidest game ever invented, by my gosh do I want to play it again. I was playing Zelda earlier, Monopoly, Maria, all sorts.

It came with;
Donkey Kong country 1, 2 and 3
Final Fantasy 1 and 2
Lawnmower Man
Metal Combat
Mortal Kombat
NBA Jam
Pac Man 2
Rock n Roll Racing
Sim City
Space Invaders
Spider Man
Super Baseball
Super Bomberman 1 and 2
Super Mario allstars
Super Mario Kart
Tetris and Dr. Mario
Street Fighter
Zelda
Top Gear
WWF Raw

And many many more. All of which I either had on snes or got on N64 in the case of WWF. That'll be my next game I think. WWF. I love wrestling.

So anyway, I just thought I'd inform my army of fans of this new little gamey thing I have. I still want to get myself a snes at some point and own the games seperately, but things like that cost money and take time, and I'm neither rich or patient.

Also, loads of people have gone of to Barcelona for an art trip. Not me, though. I'm having too many holidays this year and I'm poor. But I hope everyone has a good time out there, and I do hope the annoying singing year 12's don't piss you off too much. Have Fun! xxx

I Did It For The Money

2005-10-17T16:21:00.000+01:00

Well I'm on UCAS. Rachel wrote me a personal statement along the lines of;
'My name is Donna and I am great. I think the world of myself and would like to go to university so that other people can worship me. I think I'm very pretty and would like to study my reflection. Skippidy hop. Skippidy hop hop hop! Who's a pretty boy!!'

Oh, Rachel. You are wonderfully funny. Also, on my aplication I was from being Rev. Donna Guyer, convictions of child molestation, to Her Royal Highness, Donna Guyer, convictions of buggery to corgies. Oh, the queen would be none too amused.

Which reminds me, at the end of this post will be a list of family fortunes quotes. The funny ones. Stupid things people say when they're under pressure. I heard Alan Davies talking about them on QI and thought, oh my fucking fuck, I must find this website and post post post. So I'll put them here, and put a link in my link list, because there's a few links at the bottom of the page to like, 'the weakest link' quotes and things. Brilliant. I'll also put a link to Ed, Edd and Eddy quotes, because they make jump, hop, skip, loose my brains and fall down laughing all over the kitchen floor. Ed.... What a legend.

I've been hating lots of people in school today. Everyone has been pissing me off, probably because I have a headache. And by everyone, I actually mean like one person who came and sat with us, and spoke. For fuck sake, spoke! I hate people that speak when I'm trying to think. Interrupting my thoughts. They could be very important. And if I lose track, they're gone for good. Stupid... girl.

Not Kirsty.

I've been listening to Elvis Costello whilst writing this entry. It's ending now, and then Bright Eyes will come on. This shall put me in a good mood.

I'd like to add, on my essays for psycholopology, I got 17/24 and 19/24. Very high marks. I beat Robyn! I'm so chuffed. Very pleased with myself. Sally was too, phew. After her rant about our terrible Results section marks (4/8, not the worst). So I'm pleased. I did well.

Here goes with the Family Fortunes quotes.
They're pretty funny. It's very long, though. So good luck getting through them.

A word beginning with Z: "Xylophone.."
A slang word for a girl: "Slag.."
An animal with horns: "A bee..."
A medieval weapon: "Hand-grenade.."
Something made of wool: "A sheep.."
Something a bridegroom might wear: "A dress.."
Someone you wouldn't expect to see in a strip club: "Animals.."
An animal with a long tail: "A rabbit.."
Something a train-spotter would have in his pocket: "A magnifying glass.."
Something you put out for the birds: "Worms.."
A way to prevent snoring: "Put a pillow over his face.."
A word used to describe a very hot day: "A very hot day.."
A song from 'The Sound Of Music': "Dancing Queen.." (Also from the same family: "I wake up each morning..", "The skies are blue..", and "Over the hills and far away..")
Someone who works early hours: "A burglar.."
Something made to be wheeled around: "A hammer.."
A reason for kneeling: "To be beheaded.."
A nickname for a slim person: "Slimmy.."
A measurement of liquid: "Paint.."
Something that's nice to wear next to your skin: "Pants.."
A famous Dick: "Carrot.."
A wild animal that's native to Britain: "A bear.."
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: "Feeds your pets.."
Something that comes in 7's: "Fingers.."
A vocalist known by only one name: "Michael Jackson.."
A yellow fruit: "Orange.."
An animal beginning with B: "Bullfrog.."
Something associated with Liverpool: "The Yellow Brick Road.."
A boy mentioned in a nursery rhyme: "Little Red Riding Hood.."
Something associated with Queen Victoria: "Her husbands.."
Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming: "Your legs.."
A place you would keep a pen: "A zoo.."
Something you beat: "An apple.."
Something associated with rain: "Water.."
An animal that lives in the English countryside: "A lion.."
Something you make into a ball: "Eggs.."
A game that uses a black ball: "Darts.."
A popular TV soap: "Dove.."
Other than 'carrier', a type of bag: "Horse.."
Something you might find in a garage: "a grand piano.."
Something a Frenchman would say Answer: "On Garde.."
A fast animal: "A hippo.."
Something you keep in the garden: "A cat.."
Something that gives you goosebumps: "Mumps.."
A character from Little Red Riding Hood: "Hansel and Gretel.."
Something that has a shell: "Batman.."
Any dance apart from the waltz: "The ball dance.."
Something a policeman might say: "Spread 'em.."
Something that frightens Dracula: "The King of the Vampires.."
A non-living object with legs: "A plant.."
A sign of the Zodiac: "April.."
An animal associated with a nursery rhyme: "Andy Pandy.."
A mode of transport that you can walk in: "Your shoes.."
An animal with big ears: "A bear.."
Something you do on water: "Wallpaper.."
A musical instrument you can play in the bath: "A drum kit.."
Something associated with Egypt: "Cigars.."
A part of your body you only have one of: "Your big toe.."
Something you pull: "A potato.."
An animal used as a form of transport: "A turtle.."
A famous Phil or Philip: "Phil Johnson.."
A habit people try to give up: "Spitting.."
A Thunderbirds character: "Doctor Spock.."
Another TV gameshow with the word 'family' in the title: "The Generation Game.."
A seaside resort on the south coast: " Rio de Janeiro.."
Something you open other than a door: "Your bowels.."
Something with a red light on it: "a Dalek.."
Something that makes you scream: "A squirrel.."
A food than can easily be eaten without chewing: "Chips.."
A type of record: "A floppy disk.."
A type of large cat: "Persian.."
A job that a working dog does: "A slave.."
Something people might be allergic to: "Skiing.."
An occupation where you need a torch: "A burglar.."
A well known superstition: "Running in front of a car.."
Something you use a microchip in: "A fish-fryer.."
A dangerous race: "The Arabs.."
A game played in the dark: "Charades.."
Some famous brothers: "Bonnie and Clyde.."
A jacket potato topping: "Jam.."
A part of the body you have more than two of: "Arms.."
Something you find on a fire engine: "Coal.."
A famous royal: "Mail.."
Something you do before going to bed: "Sleep.."
An item of clothing worn by the Three Muskateers: "A horse.."
An animal you see at the zoo: "Dog.."
Something you might do in a power cut: "Read a book.."
A famous Parisian landmark: "Hawaii.."
One of Harry Enfield's characters: "Sooty.."
A famous Irishman: "Disraeli.."
The first place detectives look for fingerprints: "The floor.."
Something you associate with the sea: "A coffin.."
A famous Arthur: "Shakespeare.."
A type of cut: "Skull.."
A weapon in the game of Cluedo: "Dice.."
Something people take to the beach: "Turkey.."
A reason someone digs a hole in the road: "Grave digger.."
An ingredient in chicken stuffing: "Chicken.."
Something a girl should know about a man before marrying him: "His name.."
A bird with a long neck: "A blackbird.."
A bird with a long neck (2): "Naomi Campbell.."
An item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man: "Underpants.."
Something taken from a hotel as a souvenir: "The lamps.."
Something you keep in a garden shed: "A gardener.."
A song with moon in the title: "Blue Suede Moon.."
A famous cowboy: "Buck Rogers.."
A famous Wild-West character: "Wild Bill Eacock.."
Something you'd associate with the three bears: "Red Riding Hood.."
Fruit used in fruit salad: "Cucumber.."
Something you wear on the beach: "A deckchair.."
A method of cooking fish: "Cod.."
Something you borrow from your partner: "Shoes.."
A part of the body beginning with N: "Knee.."
A famous Scotsman: "Vinnie Jones.."
A famous Scotsman (2): "Jock.."
Something red: "My cardigan.."
A kind of ache: "Fillet-o-fish.."
Something with a hole in it: "A window.."
Something you do in the bathroom: "Decorate.."
Something you put on walls: "Roofs.."
A domestic animal: "A leopard.."
Something that floats in the bath: "Water.."
Something in the garden that's green: "The shed.."
Something a blind man might use: "A sword.."
The last thing you take off before going to bed: "Your feet.."
Something that flies without an engine: "A bicycle with wings.."

P.s. I would have colour coded them for ease of reading, but I couldn't be bother. Enjoy, though.

That Better Be Sweat Dripping Down Your Leg, Boy

2005-10-11T17:52:00.000+01:00

Wowo. What a fucking random day. I worte some of my 'The Dangers Of' stories last night, I'm going to put one here for whoever may read this to read.

The Dangers of Drink

On a night out with his friends, Billy got a little bit too drunk. He could barely walk, so his friends thought it would be a good idea to strip him naked, and tie him to a lamppost. Upon waking with the most terrible hangover, Billy found a policeman staring at him. The policeman cut him free from the ropes that bonded his feet and arms to the lamppost, and sat him in the backseat of the police car.
Billy was jailed for five years after a court heard he’d indecently exposed himself to young children, as the lamppost was situated opposite a girls catholic primary school.

There's one. I maye put another at the end of this entry.

So this weekend I went to see a mates band playing in Brighton. It wasa most random affair, and I didn't get home until late, so I spent most of Monday in a stupor. But it was worth it, as I saw Corpse Bride *Sorry Tim Burton and Johnny Depp for pirating the movie, etc, but I will see it in the cinemas and buy it as it was excellente* But my God, what a wicked movie. I advise anyone who enjoys Tim Burton, or enjoyed Nightmare Before Christmas to deffinitely see this movie. It's got some funny bits in it, but it's just a really great little flick.

Tom's been down today and other days recently. He won't tell me why, so here I am, in my blog, infront of my army of fans (invisible as you are), I offer Tom a happy cookie.

And today I got some shoes. They are quite random.
http://adbusters.org/metas/corpo/blackspotsneaker/
They're very cool, and they're vegetarian ones, which is kinda cool. Nan owed me after the catering thing, so I got shoes, like I did last time, but I'm actually goint to wear this pair.

The Dangers of Eating Too Much Squid

Billy was excited to hear that there was to be an all-you-can-eat buffet feast at his favourite sea-food restaurant. Billy reserved a table, right next to the large squid platter. He helped himself all night long, for not a penny more than £3.99. Billy was pleased with his progress, as he demolished, not one, not two, but seven platters of squid. By the end of the evening he was so full, the waiters had to roll him home.
Nine months later, Billy hadn’t got rid of the weight he’d put on in that one selfish night he’d spent at McCool’s fish restaurant. Then, he was rushed to hospital by his parents, after he began leaking a strange liquid, and complaining of stomach cramps.
‘We’ll have to open him up and take a closer look.’ The doctor told them. So Billy was rushed into surgery.
As the knife cut in, what was to pop out of his enormous belly? None other than a squid. On sight of it’s mother, Billy, the squid quit it’s little squid crying, and began to suckle at his teat.

Rachel and I both find this one rather disgusting. By the end. The teat thing.

So now I'm not feeling so good. I've got a cold, I think, I dunno. I feel like utter wank, and I can't make myself concentrate for five seconds anymore. I think I'm turning into a fish, sorry to anyone I may insult with my very VERY short attention span over the next few weeks/months/years. It's not my fault. I blame the pills.

Which reminds me of my world famous quote from yesterday;
'I don't take drugs, I only take things made entirely from flowers.'
Fuck me!

Goodbye. xxx

Out of Egypt, Into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and I Shake the Dirt From My Sandals As I Run

2005-10-02T15:13:00.000+01:00

Dude it's Tuesday (Sunday)!

Well one day this week, or last week, I bought a new TV. I'm pretty sure it was this week, but I won't be able to divulge any date to which the TV was purchased. Apologies comrades.

Anyway, it's an LCD screen yadda yadda yadda. But, what the main point is, it's twenty-fecking-two inches of pure God-like craftsmanship... etc.

I know, 22" isn't actually all that big, but, it's still a beautiful creation, if ever I did see one... Yeah.

I would like to add, that upon finding my gorgeous yellow TV leaking some green substance, I actually had to buy a new one. So it wasn't a purchase who's main rationale is to entertain me. Oh no, I needed it for... Well, for to replace the hole in my heart that getting rid of the yellow one has left me with.

Whatever Minger.

And susequently, I had to bring my fishies upstairs today. Edward and Edward (Ed and Edd (Big Ed and Double D)), who are now happily swimming around in the former space of my television, as my LCD creation is to be mounted on the wall.

I've been considering starting to write my psychology essay today. I'm not going to start it. Bone Idle. It's not due in until Friday, and I should really do something to do with art, as I'm falling behind (again), but screw it, I can't be bothered. My hands are wrinkled and smell like fish. And not in a good way. Tha tank was starting to get brown round the edges. Not a good sign.

I'm listening to Sufjan Stevens (Thus the title of this entry), and I can't quite decide what I think. I mean, they're good in the way that they remind me of Bright Eyes, and Bright Eyes are good in the way that they write good lyrics and Conor's voice is exceptional. But at the same time, they sort of bore me, like Antony and the Johnsons do. But, the titles of each track are immense. And they are attempting on making an album for each one of America's 50 States. They'll probably fail. I'm listening to the second album, Illinoise, obviously named after the State of Illinois.

I just turned my calendar over. What a gorgeously empty month I have ahead, after the business of September and the business that is going to be November. I should ask Robyn about the date of this two day party dealy she's having. I'm not going to get drunk. It's pointless. Well, I'd like to be able to WALK to the bathroom if I need to throw up from excess alcohol consumption, rather than roll onto the floor and drag myself there because of a sheer inability to stand (BEING LEGLESS, Biatch)

So I think that is pretty much all I have to say on the matter...

Goodbye and God bless.

Oh, and I love each and every one of you...

Obviously, though, that was an Over exaggeration, as I probably don't.

But, then again, maybe I'm just lying.

So would I be lying about loving each and every one of you, then?

Let's just say, you probably deserve to die before I do, 'cos I am great.

Bye xxx

Don't Stop Dancing! Don't You Ever Stop Dancing!

2005-09-25T10:42:00.001+01:00

I'm currently listening to the cure. They make me happy, and want to dance like Robert Smith in the video for Friday I'm In Love (nobody at school seems to understand when I do this, they obviously either haven't seen the video, or don't understand the cure)

I seem to be getting over a cold, I blame my brother, and Tom, they are mean and ugly people. Cept my brother isn't ugly, We come from the same Gene pool (roughly, different Dad's, I guess) and If he were ugly, I'd be ugly, and that just isn't true...

I got Rachel to listen to Dylan Moran the other day. She loved it. We've been saying Elbow Scrag all week, Oh, and the little quote about Eggs just being farts covered in substance. It's true. Eggs are gross. Who in their right mind would eat something that came out of a chickens backside?

I remember when I pretended to have a pet chicken called Wook Wook (I blame Tom entirely) and then we found a picture on the internet of a man who we named Mr Wook Wook Choi, who became almost like a new obsession for us.

Door Mouse
Mouse Trap
Trap Door
Door Mouse
Mouse Trap
Trap Door

Moon Chicken

*Vaguely remembers a trip we took to Colchester, failed in finding the zoo, and sat in Pizza hut for an hour or so, eating and playing this stupid word association game*

Oh, the good 'ol times.

For the past three or so days, I've had an elastic band wrapped around three of my fingers. Strange. It's rather comfortable.

The other day I really wanted to paint my nails black, but my black is downstairs in the unknown depths of the garage, hidden under a mass of dead bodies and chopped carrots, etc. So I decided I wanted to paint them turquoise. I even cut my nails really short, as I like bright colours on shirt nails, and fuck me, I don't even own turquoise. And if I did, it'd be no doubt down with the fecking black.

My Lizard just made a strange squeaking noise on the side of the vivarium. Weird. Wonder how he did that. I can't wait for him to shed. It's so wonderfully cool. He's currently 7 1/2 inches long. WOW!

Yeah so I'm getting boring in my old age, am I not?

It's rather remarkable, really.

Oh dear, the music seems to have stopped... When did that happen?

*Dances to the Cure*

Yeah, so I don't have much more to say.

So I guess I'll Say G'Bye

G'Bye

xXxXxXxXxXx
(Chav Stylie, Biatch!)

Get off of my money, you fecking lunatic. Go on, hop it.

2005-09-17T11:30:00.001+01:00

This is a wonderful picture of myself, at some age. I think i look slightly spasticated, not just because of the strange fringe and lack of piercings, but also because I decided at the last minute that I wanted to stick my tongue out. And so I was edging it out when the photographer obviously realised my intentions, and snapped me like... well, like this. Terrible.

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Fuck me, I'm Renton!

I watched Lock Stock this morning, which made me want to watch Trainspotting, which makes me want to listen to Iggy Pop and become a fucking Skag head... Yes, cos we're all hardcore, and I wanna be your dog.

So my ear is healing up nicely now, I stretched it, went to bed, and it fell out, leaving my ear all gross and yucko. Yummy.

Sobek just ate 4 crickets in about 7 seconds, I', not kidding, he's gonna become a fat little arsehole at this rate, bless his soul.

He's taken to sitting on my face. I don;t think this is a great picture of me, but Sobek is on me. Look. He's on my face... Eww.

I got a picture of him on my cat the other day, the cutest thing ever. Muffin, my cat, didn't really know what was happening, but she didn't go for him. She never has tried. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

I think we've come to the conclusion that Robyn is doing the art for my poetry book. Her pictures are pretty damn cool, and she'll work for alcohol, which is good, because I don't like giving people money out of my own pocket.

Cheap slapper... Cheap slapper... Cheap slapper...

2005-09-14T15:31:00.000+01:00

I'm in a lot of pain. I'm trying to stretch my bottom ear hole. Ouchy. Gemma gave me a stretcher thingy. It hurts. I've got it half way through now, but I feel like I should give up because it really does hurt.

The past few days I've been writing more of my crappy poetry. I'm proud of it, actually. I'm going to try and get some of it published, but I don't really know where to start. I'd like it to be in a cool little book and stuff. Which reminds me I guess I need someone to illustrate all of my poems. Any offers?

Seriously I do need someone to do it. I'd do it myself but I just don't have the skill. You know? I want something brilliant and crap at the same time, Byron's drawings just didn't cut the biscuit.

If you feel like you can do it, draw a picture to accompany this poem;

Eyebrow Soup

One day and accident occurred
Standing over the stove
My eyebrows burnt off
And fell in my soup

And send them to

getoutofmyoffice@whorehouse'scrackfactory.moonpie.aol.com *

But really, I mean if you are interested, let me know, cos I really do need illustartions for an awful lot of poems. This job would not be a paying job, but your name would be happily written in the book if it ever managaes to get published, and you could then become the famous artist who drew pictures for the twisted little girl who writes shitty poetry.

Fuck me I'm great.

So yeah, I've got some psychology work to do. I'll have to write another entry soon. PLEASE HELP ME COMPLETE MY BOOKY.

Bye bye xxx

*This is not actually a real email address... Do not send things to this email address... You may get shot.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other. One Of These Things Just Doesn't Belong

2005-09-06T17:23:00.000+01:00

If there is a God, do you think he knows when the world will end? Well, not just the world, but the whole universe, basically?

I believe, and I think I only believe this because I want it to be true, that our lives are mapped out before we start our 'journey' through life. Before any of us start our 'journey'.

Take, for instance, that thing we learn in science. I want to call it the 'red shift' but I don't think that's right.

Anyway. We were taught that the stars we see in the sky at night burnt out years and years ago. But because they're so far away, it took so long for the light to travel down to earth, that we still see them, even though they are gone. The only thing that knows the truth is the empty space in the universe where that star had burnt out, years in the future. Or in the past. However you think.

Following me?

So, presumably there is a God outside of our universe (otherwise Scientist would see the old coot, right? I mean, we can see planets and stars and black holes and what not), the universe where those stars we see every night burned out, oh, so many years ago, surely this Magnificent Creature can see into our futures (I.e. we see the stars past, the star sees our future, God would therefore see our futures too).

And surely, being so far outside our universe, he'd know if/when the world will end, presuming it's betwene now and whatever time in the future this God is witnessing.

So who's to see He's not staring into an empty space where Earth used to be?

I thought about this the other night when I was desperately trying to sleep, and I had to write it down on paper. This is what I wrote. I think I can explain it better with words and hand movements, so if you are confused, ask me, I might be able to explain.

But then again, I'm not Christian, so maybe my technique is totally wrong.

I don't really mind too much.

These were the thought of a desperately tired teenager as she tried to sleep... Sad or what?

I'm Only Dancing, She Turns Me On, I'm Only Dancing, She Turns Me On, Don't Get Me Wrong, I'm Only Dancing...*

2005-09-02T16:07:00.000+01:00

Well I'm listening to David Bowie...

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

And my lizard just shed his skin all over my bedroom floor... Little Bastard.

So yeah, todays been pretty average. I went to The Food Company, and Nan spent like 80 fucking quid on absolutely nothing (mostly bluten free food which I've decided I like... and cheese). But it is expencivre there. Veyr expencive. It's like shopping in an upper class version of M&S where the food actually tastes remotely edible. Yummy... Cheese...

Ziggy played guitar...

And yesterday I was in town again, spending money in Holland and Barratt on just random shit (Alpro Yogurts and Veggie sausages, oh and Pomegranite juice...) and we went to the Chinese for lunch... I'm getting fed up of that place, honest to God, everytime I'm in town at the momenyt, I'm eating in there... Chinese makes me feel ill as it is... Stop feeding it to me...

I'm actually totally out of things to say... Oh yes, I am going to probably get dreadlocked at some point... I don't know when... Next week I'm egtting colour put in my hair, my hairdresser would freak if I told her... And I'll get pierced for my birthday I guess...** And it will look better than a certain person in our art class who looks like a trollop (great word).

That's it from me I guess... Goodbye biatches (Horrid word)

xxx

*Donna Was Listening To Changes By David Bowie Whilst Writting This Entry. CD Available In All Good And Bad Music Stores, And Free To Download From The Internet... Piracy Fucking Rocks, Dude...
**Donna is Getting very annoyed with her over use of ...'s. It's anoying, stop doing it, or I'll ram that fucking keyboard up your...

Abismol behaviour from a 47 year old

2005-08-29T23:23:00.000+01:00

Right. Let me start by saying this;

I want to get dreadlocks.

I've been thinking about it for months (in the back of my mind) and decided that if the chance comes up n the next year, and I have the money, and don't get talked out of it by meanies, I'll get it done. What do you think? honest opinions, please.

So tomorrow I'm going into town to buy Crickets for my lizard, who is currently being called Sobek (rachel's idea. Egyptian God of lizards or something. Cute name, I must admit), name may change soon, or may not.

I'm terribly tired at the moment.

I'm listening to Daft Punk - One More Time. Great song. too repetitive, just like lots of their stuff, but I love Daft Punk. I have a more varied taste in music than people give me credit for. Just because I don't like pop music.

Tom's being weird and I think he's with someone because he's not usually THIS annoying, you know? Sorry, Tom, if you read this.

Most of my lighters are out of fluid. I need to buy new ones. I am considering taking up smoking again. I won't do it though, laziness prevents me from buying the cigarettes. Brains prevent me from smoking them if I ever got over my laziness.

And I'm also considering getting my labret pierced. I'll probably get that done for my birthday. I need another facial piercing, I think. Just to even everything out. I could et my eyebrow done, I suppose. But I hate them. But then again, I love piercings, especially, on me, so it scould all be ok, right?

Anyway. Someone please say something about my dreadlock idea. If you do't, I'll get it done and sooner or later, end up with fleas and die, like that dog from down the road that never really existed.

Of course that wouldn't happen...

This Blog is protected by an attack rooster

2005-08-23T20:10:00.000+01:00

I feel kind of ill today. I dunno why.

On Friday, Rachel came over and we went to Aqua pets. I bought a Bearded Dragon. That's a lizard. He's five weeks old yesterday, and he's blooming adorable.

The day after tomorrow there is a BBQ at Rachel's house. I'm sleeping over. Should be cool. I'm going to take some DVD's.

I've got to do my Art homework next week, so I'll be busy. I set a whole week for it, the week before last, but I spent one day doing work then got sidetracked and just couldn't be bothered to carry on. Typical behaviour. I hope Art is the only homework I have to do.

I've got boring since the summer started, haven't I? I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just feel terribly bored and stuff, so I can't be bothered to make jokes, as it were.

So yeah, I got my results, but I wrote about those in my last post. I was tragically happy about them, having not failed anything.

I duno what to write. I have a Bearded Dragon. He hasn't been named yet. He has many Temporary names, though. For instance, Cheese, SuperMan and Geoff, Pet!

'Geoff, Pet!' is apparently a song on my album 'Luxury Cruise To Russia'.

Incase, like me, you have no idea what I'm talking about, Tom has some strange game in which he can make up bands. I am a solo rock artist. My name being Donna Guyer... Obviously. Elvis Costello has told me, in his own words (Words from the game, not actual spoken words or anything);

'Soloist Elvis Costello revealed himself to be a huge admirer of up and coming Rock artist Donna Guyer's talents anuncing the the industry should expect 'great things to come' from the soloist.'

So I have a fan in Elvis Costello. Personally, not having heard any Elvis Costello (or maybe I have, but you know, I'm terrible with artists names) I don't know whether having him as a fan is like having R.E.M's Michael Stipe as a fan (i.e. a good thing), or having Busted's whole gang of nerdy teen pop rockers as fans (a bad thing). Aren't busted dead? Or broken up? Why, when some terribly crap artist, or terribly crap person, is out of my knowledge for over a month do I suddenyl think of them as dead? Am I morbid? Is that a good thing? Does it matter, even if it is Busted? Why do I care enough about Busted to mention them (Haha, I think they broke up, right? So therefore, they are BUSTED! Get it. Busted... Cos it's the name of the band. Busted... Oh, shut up.)

So yeah. I just had a root beer float. Reason for my feeling ill, I guess. Crap root beer, too much sugar, I feel like I should pass out in the next few minutes from too much sugar. Is that a bad thing? Am I a secret busted fan? Why am I asking you? Do you have the answers? Please, help me!!!

Goodnight and god bless (Are these the words of Michael Barrymore? Are they the words of anybody? If so, Who? Please, help me!!!)

Salmon, cucumber and potato sandwiches...

2005-08-18T12:36:00.000+01:00

Well I got my results from AS. Wooo.

D E E in art
D D E in graphics
D E in general
and C D U in psychology

So that averages out to an E in every subject. That's a pass. They cannot possibly kick me out just yet... HEHEHE

But yeah. I'm proud. I know there are other people who have done much better than me, but it's still good as far as I'm concerned, and so I'm proud.

This is going to be a reasonably short post, because I don't have much to write, except Prince makes me happy.

So yeah. Hope everyone else did well.

I'm enjoying the holiday. I love sleeping in. I love my bed so much. I love just sleeping for hours on end and waking only long enough to eat a slice of bread before going back to bed again.

I should finish on a joke... But I don't know any. And I have a little migraine. But, like, yeah.

So if you are looking for my normal thoughts and crap, go to...

www.necrophagia.deviantart.com

and read some of the poems I've put up there. They are all like my normal writing, and Tom even helped out with subjects and stuff. Bless his magical soul.

Tom is a scag head...

2005-08-12T12:11:00.000+01:00

This reminds me of the time Tom and I watched a program on sex in spanish. I mean, the program was in Spanish. We learnt lots of words. All I can remember was Vibrador and Sexo (obvious translations).

Tom remembers those two and anal (pronounced An-Al. As in, one person named Al) and Pena (as in Penis, I guess)(pronounced Pee-Na, not Pen-A, silly willy)

I got my holiday photos back yesterday, 71 photos, 99% of which were pictures of the ocean. Just the ocean. Nothing more... Nothing less.

I got a strange picture of a bird in flight. I dislike that. Why can birds fly? They look strange when you picture them just suspended in mid air by nothing...

Rachel says a bird with no feathers couldn't possible fly.

But what about a bird with no wings and feathers?

Pelvic floor?

I'm still having weird dreams. I dreamt last night that I was with some random person who I don't know, and we stole a car.

And the night before, this was a fun dream, I dremt Tom was an actor, and he was doing a film with Johnny Depp, and he invited Rachel and I to go on set with him and watch. And we met Johnny Depp, who had very short hair. And Tom had to do a scene in a sort of black nuns dress thing, and he had silver make up all over his face, and bronze eye shadow and lipstick on.

Tom says he doesn't like lipstick... Nothing against the rest of it though, eh Tom.

Anyway. The film they were making was quite strange, and we just met Johnny Depp in loads of outfits from previous films, like Edward Scissorhands and Pirates of the Caribbean. I found this quite odd.

This weekend I'm going to Brighton. We're staying in the Old Ship hotel. We're going up about midday on Saturday.

Thursday next week is the day we get our results for AS.

Monday next week is discovery day. Happy discovery day for Monday.

Again, I should probably apologise if you read this. I have been doing utterly nothing this week, except a little art homework. Which isn't worth writing about. Apologies if you read this, and if you didn't read this, i'll be sending a large S&M master round to your house to punish you for being BAD!

The perils of being pretty.

2005-08-06T13:28:00.000+01:00

Excitement rushed through my veins as i wake up every fucking day and I'm on SUMMER HOLIDAY!
Well. A mixture of excitement and the want for less sunlight and more sleep. This is why winter is more fun for me. Less sunlight. More sleep. You get me?
Anyway.

I am actually lacking in things to write. Totally and utterly devoid in the brain. I blame the constant sleeping and the lack of stuff to do.

But, if all else fails, I could watch my newly aquired Peter Pan (Disney, 1953, version) VHS. What a joyous day Wednesday was!

I had a dream the night before last about growing an extra two boobs.
The night before I dreamt that I had cancer.
The night before I dreamt I was a whore. And a cheap one at that.

What happened to those good ol' normal dreams?

Like the reccurring dream I had as a child that a dinosaur was eating my best friend.

Or the one where I killed Rachel. It's not my fault though. You people should reframe from giving me guns.

Do other people have weird dreams like these? (Not drug or alcohol induced, I mean)

Some point over the next few weeks I am going to get abearded dragon. Not next week, but maybe the week after. I've saved up. Should be very cool. I can't wait. I want to call it Elvis.

Ever since I bought my iPod I've been hating the fact that all those sound docks cost verging on £200 (the good, big ones) But this morning I had a total breakthrough. Why don't I just plug my bass speakers into the headphone port?

Why don't I just?

Worked exceptionally (even if I could only use the one, as there is only one port). Why did this take me so long to figure out? I've had the stupid thing for as long as I can remember (not saying much as a I only vaguely remember last week (I'm not kidding)), but still. How simple. The people at Apple just lost themselves £200 worth of my business.

So I doubt they're kicking themselves. But still. I AM THE GREATEST.
Which brings me back to my thoughts as of yesterday.
'Donna. You can rule the world. You are the best person to walk this earth, and you know it. Become the ruler, Donna. Do it. Do it. And if you do, I'll give you a toaster.'
Oh yeah. I'm gonna do it.

~*~

If you are reading this, you read this post. My sincere apologies.

Did you just fart?

2005-08-01T11:18:00.000+01:00

Some questions. Can you answer them?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?
Do bald people get dandruff?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep peeing or stop?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy cable?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?
If Teflon is Non-Stick, how do they get it to stick to the pans?

Go on give it a go. Constructiive anwers only please.

Oodles and Oodles of Noodles for Poodles

2005-07-30T18:24:00.000+01:00

Wednesday 20th July
Arrived in Copenhagen at some stupidly early hour of the morning (around 3pm) and headed towards the docks for the WESTERDAM. After a long wait and a kind of breezy safety demonstration (involving bright orange life jackets *shudders*) we were setting sail for Tallinn, Estonia.

Thursday 21st July
Still sailing... Kind of a tedious boring day.

Friday 22nd July
DOCKED!!! Arrived at Tallinn at some incredibly vomit worthy time (about 5 AM!). Went on a walking tour around. Was kind of fun. We went to a load of old markets and bought some knitted winter stuff (gloves, hat, scarf) and a shot glass, and other random junk.

Saturday 23rd July
Docked at St Petersberg, Russia. Will be here for two days. We went on some kind of tour (all recollection of what i actually did truly escapes me though, except I know I spent all of my money)... Oh yeah. We went to the Russian Vodka museum. Was kind of dull until it got round to tasting the Vodkas. I honestly couldn;t tell the difference between the cranberry, the honey, and just the plain vodka. They all tasted the same. Nice though. Even though I hate vodka. And I couldn't eat the food. Was all Meaty or Caviarish. So I waited until we were back on the boat with their fucking exceptional service.

Sunday 24th July (Happy Birthday to Tom)
Still in St Petersberg. We went on a little tour around St Peterberg on this day. I have a photo of some sort of Saint, i think, who is on a horse that has a snakes tail or something. I dunno. I had my iPod on and wasn't really listening. I got a little bored at this point, but it was still pretty ok.

Monday 25th July
We docked in Helsinki, Finland. We went on a little boat tour around the lakes and stuff and I got sme pictures of some pretty houses and stuff (seriously, I'm not the kind to find arcitecture pretty, but it was nice) and we passed one of Kimi raikkonen's homes. Very posh area. Very pretty too.

Tuesday 26th July
Oh my gosh was this the best day? Me thinks it was. We docked in Stockholm, Sweden. And we went for a little tour bus ride around. looking at stuff. And then... We went to the best place in the entire world. The Ice Bar, which is sponcered by Absolut Vodka, so was highly potent with Vodka, let me tell you. And everything was made of ice. except the ceiling and floor. It was in a large air tight container (like a giant freezer) and everyone put on ponchos to go in. Silver ponchos. And gloves. You needed them. It was -5 degrees inside. And we went in and there were huge ice sculptures (what of, I have no idea, but they looked so cool (pun not intended)) and there were blocks of ice that were sort of hollowed out on the inside, with the shape of a bottle (of vodka?) and the glasses were made of ice too. Like blocks with a hollowed out bit the size of a shot glass. And then the bar tender man came in a poured everyone drinks (he had a furry hat on, ask me at school and I'll show you pictures of everything) and I had a passionfruit juice.

Wednesday 27th July
Docked at Visby, Sweden. We didn't go out though. I had a really bad migrain and only left the room for dinner because I felt like I would faint if I didn't eat something.

Thursday 28th July
And then we docked in Germany. A place called Warnemunde? Or something like that. We went on a bus and then we went walking on what was the hottest day (about 30-32 degrees) of the holiday. I bought a incense burner with a silver Buddha on it. And then we went on a little boat trip back to the ship.

Friday 29th July
And on this, our final day, we were back in Denmark, but not in Copenhagen. Oh no. We were in Aarhus (or Arhus, it's spelt differently all over the damn city) where we visited an old town type thing. It was a little boring. And then it rained. And there were black horses. Pulling carts on cobbles. It was like heaven. Very pretty. But before all this, in the morning there was a little disembarkation talk, which was cool. People got champagne, orange juice, or a mixture of the two. I had orange. We also got chocolate covered strawberries. Yummy! And then the cruise director man (I think thats what he did) told some bad jokes that everyone laughed at. Especuially one about foldng toilet paper to a point, and prunes. Worth a giggle. And then the crew went up onto the stage and sang a song and said goodbye with sparkly ribbons.

Saturday 30th July (Happy Birthday to George)
Docked in Copenhagen. The fog was so thick that you couldn't see the water from the boat. Really cool. And we went for breakfast. Very early Vomit worthy time again (6.30 am) and then disembarked at 7.30. Our flight was delayed almost an hour, so I ended up sleeping on the ice cold wooden floor outside gate D102 (the gate that the Copenhagen to Heathrow flightwas supposed to be on) only to be woken up 3 hours later because they'd changed the gate and we had to run across the whole damn thing to platform A17. Where we then had to sit for another hour and a half (more sleep). Then onto the plane, where I slept some more. And then the runway was backed up when it came to landing time. So that was an extra 20 minutes in the sky, during which time I was thinking about how the hell can an object as heavy as a fucking plane stay in the sky. I mean, birds, fine, they're light. But a plane? If a plane, why not you or me? Or Aunty P? Or the Poodle from down the lane?

Anyway, I got home safe (please don't boo and hiss too loudly, the Gods may hear and strike you down dead) and I missed the last few days at school. And I missed everyone (nearly everyone) and I hope you missed me too (again, don't disagree too loudly...)

But most of all, yes... Most of all... I missed my cats *said in sleazy bodyrockers manner*

I'm going to live forever in a bubble? Do you think I'd still be able to breathe?

2005-07-19T17:52:00.000+01:00

Oh my blooming gosh. I'm going on hioliday tomorrow. I'm nervous as fuck. A cruise. How exciting. how dangerous. THE TITANIC.

I've got loads of packing to do.

Today at school was might might fine. Actually it was pretty damn good. I'm happy. It was a bit sad because i'm not going to be back there for a while. And also I won't know the results of our psycholology experiment. TRAGEDY.

I actually wanted to know what they were. Oh well, I'll find out at some point, I'm sure.

I'm so looking forward to the Russian Vodka Museum. And we're going to a place where they give you drinks in glasse made out of Ice. I think it's like an Ice museum or something. I think it's in Finland, but I'm not even going to pretend to be positive of that one.

Also I'm angry because I bought some DVD-RW so I could put some movies and music videos I have on DVD. Only they don't play in either of my DVD players, do they?

Oh well. I'm off for ten days and will miss you ALL (actually probably true, I'll even miss slagging Kirsty off (I still like her though))
So I'll update when I return home from my journeys. Next Saturday. 10 days away...

I DON'T WANT TO DIE

I hate to tell you this, but there's a big, greasy spot of peanut-buttery goodness on your butt

2005-07-17T13:31:00.000+01:00

I've been thinking about Peanuts all day. I've gotta get sone. They've Hijacked my brain.

You need to Pee? You can Pee behind those trees. You see those trees? You could Pee behind there.
Stop Staring at me you squirrel pervert.

So it's been fun.

Tee's birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday.

*Prays for good judgement*

We saw Madagascar yesterday. No comment. For a child I suppose it's ok. But from my point of view I wasn't that impressed, although there were some funny things in it I suppose.

I'm not going to forget about animal cruelty and the evil of zoo's just because it's a cortoon. It's not funny, not really. But i suppose not everybody shares my views.

I want to get another piercing for my brithday. Either Labret or right nostrel.

*Considers*

And maybe a tattoo if I can find something I like. Something that grabs my balls, twists them in the most painful way possible and screams in my ear 'GET ME DONE HOE, OR I'LL TWIST YOUR BALLS IN NUMEROUS DIRECTIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER IN SERIOUS PAIN.'

Except I'm female. So that may not work so well...

#206 - Monster

Excuse me while I go to pee behind that bush.

Is it a bad thing when you start writting the names of alcohols with capital letter? Are they really that important in my life?

Stupid questions beget stupid answers, ninny.

To spite my bad lifestyle, will I be reincarnated as a teabag?

Quote from my diary last night after a little too much Vodka;

I feel like I've reached my nirvana right now. I'm floating and relaxed and ultimately in a place of spiritual wellbeing and, erm... Nirvana.
Even with the light on and a niggle in my throat.
Heaven.
George: Why did the lobbster blush? Because the Sea Weed.
N.R.VA.N.A
??
Nirvana I meant. I just feel so enlightened right now. I'm going to meditate.

In all honesty, I think I fell asleep through meditation.

-EDIT-
(18th July 2005)

I would like to thank Laura Squires today, you're hollering and screaming fit earlier really made my day. Worth a right giggle.

Oh, and don't worry, You won't see me from the end of tomorrow until we're back at school, so you won't have to put up with much shit.

And whilst I'm thanking former 'friends', I'd like to thank Harriet Lawrence for blocking me and not talking to me after I sent you an email. Very childish. I'm disappointed. In both of you really, but you ever so slightly more. It's a shame you acted like that, but you know, if you are going to get all pissed off for a stupid reason, screw you, bitch.

It's in your face... But you can't grab it

2005-07-12T19:06:00.000+01:00

I have that 'poem' think I wrote. I suppose I don't mind putting it on here. I don't like it, but I like the last verse. It doesn't really mean anything to me, I suppose because it's not how I am. I'd like it to be, like, intense. I was ging to make it better... But I was too lazy. I came across it today, whilst putting zoo pictures onto the computer. Check;

www.necrophagia.deviantart.com

In my scraps, for some pictures and my DA journal for the days events.

Anyway, this is the poem. Again, I'm not liking it, but I don't like to write poetry or similar. I like essays. Good, wholesome essays.

I've named it, 'It's obsession, baby, and it's the way I like it'

I lick the pillow you last laid your head on.
The side of the bed you slept on after we had sex.
I haven’t changed the bed sheets.
They reek of your sweat.

You were an abusive drunk and a drug abuser.
But that’s the way I liked it, baby.
You’d harm me and I’d always come begging you for more.
I was your puppet. You held my strings.

Don’t go thinkin’ I’m angry at you.
It’s nothing of the sort, my dear.
I don’t want to hurt you, no more than you hurt me.
I mostly want to thank you. You made me a stronger person.

You played a rough game, baby.
I bit you hard, you bit me harder.
But our blood would mingle and somehow I just knew,
I knew everything would turn out right.

What happened though?
You left and defied the odds.
You stayed away through all my Voodoo.
You strayed despite my spells.

You will come back to me soon, my dear.
It’s only a matter of time.
You’ll be hearing a crackling sound, but don’t you worry.
I’ll just be breaking your legs so you can’t run.

Hueva Dun Sed IQ Tests Dunn No Nuffin Is A Boob, Innit?

2005-07-10T19:56:00.000+01:00

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average

Your General Knowledge is Above Average

Damn Link doesn't work. Dammit. But you get the idea. I'm cleverer than all of you bitches.

Check it at;

http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest

Are you a TRANSEXUAL?

2005-07-04T17:03:00.000+01:00

I love today. It's been ultraly (?) fun.
Aloo fly
No
Aloof ly
idiot.

So Live 8 was on Saturday. It's nice that people are trying to stamp out theis whole world poverty thing, but I doubt if it'll work.

Shame really. But at least they are trying to do something. I mean I don't think the issue will go away, but it's better than all those people who just complain about it all and do nothing.

Like me.

I'm really cold. It's like all of a sudden the sky has fallen and everything has turned to ice.

In my mind at least.

We played pictionary today, which was kind of fun, but I play it a different way (the way I see things) so nobody really undersood.

So for instance, I did Barbie. I drew a lady (barbie), a man (ken), Hair (blonde), a car (BARBIEMOBILE!!!), and a tv (as in commercials)

It took a while.

I guess nobody thinks like I do....
Tell me, is that a good thing?

I'm actually pretty mellow today. I'm quite happy and relaxed. It's been a fun day.

I'm actually really tired now, and I'm trying to find an excuse for me not to have to write up things for Psychology, but I said i'd do it because nobody can read my handwriting.

You people suck.

Anyway. I'm going to do that now. Remember, worship me, lick my feet (or not) and always, ALWAYS shoot animals dead for sport (I'll get a slap from Rachel for that one)

And one quick question; Why does my landline phone tell me the duration of the telephone call, but not the number that is calling? Surely, for half the phone calls I get, I'd not answer the phone and therefore there would be no duration, if I knew what fucker was calling me.

That didn't make sense though, did it?

Boobies.

Goodbye.
xxx

Having a terrific day?

2005-06-29T19:54:00.000+01:00

Over 1 billion people live on less than $1 a day

30,000 people die a week from preventable poverty related causes. that's 1.56 million a year

So, do you still think your life is so terrible?

I'm taking the next two days off school. I'm actually feeling extremely depressed at this particular moment in time and I just want some sleep and some time to settle my mind.

I'm sorry, but I'm no problem solver. I never said I was. I can barely listen to your problems, let alone answer them all.

And then I tell you I'm feeling down, and you make me feel worse.

You know? I know you want to think the world revolves around you. But I'm sorry, there are billions of people worse off.

Tom is still a cheating Dildo

2005-06-26T21:09:00.000+01:00

Tom is over.

He just will not leave.

I kicked him out.

And then he broke my window and climbed through the toilet.

Why won't he go home?

Anyway.

I'm gonna watch big brother.

Bill Gates is my new obsession. He is fun. I want to meet him.

I'm kind of shell shocked. I just heard Richard Whiteley died.

Me and Tom watched Countdown once. I won.

He was only 61. I think he had pneumonia.

Thats really sad.

Tom is a cheating Dildo.

2005-06-25T21:12:00.000+01:00

Tom cheated at Cluedo. I don't care what he says, he cheated, and you CAN cheat at Cluedo, ask Tom, he does it. CHEATER.

And then he had the nerve to tell me that I cheated by making him cheat.

What?

I have come to the conclusion, with the help of Catherine, that Bill Gates is neither Gay or Dead. In actual fact he has a few children (maybe) No, of course that He couldn't have children and be dead. I do hope he isn't, because I would like my computer to continue to work at an amazingly brilliant rate (as long as it's better than Tom's hunk of junk)

Tom and Rachel have got me into Big Brother. KILL VANESSA... She's slightly on the boring side. Craig is wicked, as is Derek and Makosi. Damn you evill people for getting rid of Roberto (though I didn't vote)

Everyone else is a little too ah for me to mention.

So on to my weekend. I spent it at Tom's with Rachel. Me and Rachel cackling our heads off to Takeshi's Castle. Tom doesn't really get it I don't think. He doesn't think outside of the box...

We ate chocolate. I had buttons and a chomp. I'm high on sugar i guess. I dunno. Damn this non-sweet-food eating person that I've become, the tiniest bit of sugar gives me a head rush.

On a more serious note, My feet are cold. STORM YESTERDAY!!! I DIDN'T DIE!!!

I'm not sure what to say anymore, cept of course my words of wisdom...

Don't eat it if it's been on the floor under the sofa for more than 3 years, unless of course it's still growing.

Bye Bye

xxxx

I just got really kind of tedious after that...

2005-06-22T14:16:00.000+01:00

Ok i'm in school and I'm bored. Rachel just left a loving message on Laura's DevianArt account. Under my screen name. And now she's just figured out that she's actually bunking her lessons to slag off Laura.

Odd'n she is.

She's got a grammer thing going on. Gemma and I, not ME and Gemma. Poo you, Rachel.

He he.

Mythbusters. Like brainiac but smarter. Brilliant.

RESTAURANT.

Random or what?

I don't have much to say except LAURA SQUIRES IS CRAP.

And that is only because you got me in trouble for no reason, then admitted to me it was for no reason and didn't get me out of trouble, you SKANK.

I'm not a Pheasant Plucker, I'm a Pheasant Pluckers Son
I'm only Plucking Pheasants til' the Pheasant Plucker comes.

Rachel is not a pleasant fucker!

Signing off now to giggle my arse off.

xxx

To tell you the truth, I like it that way.

2005-06-21T18:16:00.000+01:00

I'm in a happy mood and I want to talk about things that I like at the moment.

Today I like lots of things.

I like reading my book about dreams.
I like Conor Oberst's sexy voice.
I like water.
I like my new bedroom.
I like System Of A Down.
I like the poem I wrote yesterday (will put on here when it's properly finished)
I like Andy Roddick.
I like to be left alone to do what I want to do.
I like every little voice.
I like to do things my way.
I like the way my mind works.
I'd like to let Rachel on the stage at my dream Job to sing 'All by myself', but some red flashing light in my head is telling me NO...
I'd also like my skin to be a little paler. Damn these Italian roots.

To explain everything a little more, I wrote a poem yesterday. It's about an obsessing that a girl has over her ex lover. I'd like to think it's really intense, but it still needs work. I'll deffinitely put it on here when it's intense enough.

And NO it is not from personal experience.

And if I haven't mentioned it before I would like to work in a place.

I can't be bothered to explain. Not many people would understand it. I'll say this. There will be coffee. And live music, poetry and stories. No crap live music. I can live without shit.

And reading that back I sound really fucking odd.

But in the wrong ways.

I'll be off now, that Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat is after me.

I love me.

xxx

All in a days work for a teenager.

2005-06-17T13:46:00.000+01:00

I feel like I'm going to cry.

Nan's just started on me again, 3rd time in about 2 weeks. Stupid arguments about nothing. She started shouting at me so I walked away and went to my room.

I'm not in the mood for an argument. I've been feeling quite down lately anyway.

So I'm laying on my bed, reading a book when she comes in shouting at me again.

'When you are ready to calm down...' yaddy yaddy yadda.

Me? Calm down? I was never not calm. She's the one who started shouting at me. She's the one who then followed me upstairs and shouted at me again whilst I just took it.

And then she'll tell my brother. She'll tell him that we had an argument. Then he'll tell me not to argue with Nan.

Who's arguing?

I just sat there and took it.

So then there'll be two people angry with me.

Which makes me think back to two years ago when my Uncle decided to have a go at me for something that wasn't my fault. I guess I must be a troublemaker.

I don't see my Dad for long enough for him to be angry with me. I see him for an hour a week. On a Wednesday.

I miss my Mum so much. Since she died I just don't feel like I belong in this family at all.

Since she died everyone takes everything out on me.

I know I used to argue with her too, but at least then it wouldn't be over stupid little things. And all of our arguments ended with a cuddle and an apology.

I can't wait until I leave school, so I can get a job and move out.

Tell Me Stranger, Do You Want A Lolly?

2005-06-12T15:37:00.000+01:00

I'm cold and I've been ill recently. Today I feel better though. I've been putting books, CD's and DVD's on my new shelves in my room. They're holding so far *Fingers crossed*

Stupid Canadian Grand Prix isn't on until 5.

Floor man is coming on tuesday, so are my chest of drawers and bed side tables, so i'll be spending most of the next week assembling my flat packed bedroom.

I'll be glad to get my floor down, this one is gving me splinters.

just a few weeks left before I go on my cruise. I'll be leaving that damn school for the last week an they won't see me until after the holidays. Best of all I want have to see a certain someones goofy grinning face.

I'll be missing Tom's and George's birthday, so I'll have to get both of them presents when I'm away. Nice ones from all over the Baltic.
Finland for Tom, I guess. Something to do with the Rasmus maybe. Something written in Finnish.
George, god knows. Maybe some chocolate or something from some place. Russia maybe.

Man I'm screwed.

I'm try ing to do these stupid windows updates which have been taking a grand total of 45 minutes so far. It said 15 when I clicked on go. Stupid Windows. Stupid Gay Bill Gates.

Or was Bill Gates Microsoft?

Who cares. Either way he's horrid.

So who is Richard Branson?

He made something, right?

I'm asking too many questions. It's not like you are going to answer me.

I feel another Migraine coming on.

Nothing works. That stupid Chinese remedy did for a few days, but then it just stopped, and I don't like taking 270 little pills twice a day. Especially when the bloody well remind me of Tea.

Is there a name for the phobia of Tea?

The drink, of course, not the meal.

Because if so, I have it.

I'm listening to Bob Dylan.

And I'm utterly Frozen solid.

Lay Lady Lay.

Is that long enough an entry yet? tough shit, I'm cold and broken and going for a batwich.

The books just fell on the Jesse.

He's so gay.

Goodnight and God speed.

xxx

Did you just call me Ignorant? Because I'm not entirely sure I understood the question.

2005-06-09T10:03:00.000+01:00

All my exams are now finished with. Bout bloody time. Graphics was on the 7th, which was Tuesday if I'm not mistaken. That kind of sucked at the same time as it being just totally fucking easy.

I so failed.

So I put a few pictures on my DeviantArt account. Some of Mr. Jesse James and Miss Emmie-Emm.

www.necrophagia.deviantart.com

I hope your hair falls out. It's of such poor quality. And the fact that you dye it black makes it more obvious. And the fact that you seem to be growing it just makes me cackle, not, of course in the 'witch' way that you do, but in the 'laughing at you' way that I do. It's just unfortunate when people are crap.

Of course when I dyed my hair black I looked just lovely, because of course it was me, and I look just stunning no matter what I do.

Which reminds me I need my roots doing.

Which, of course brings me to another point. Why do people copy?

I guess it makes sense if they would copy to be accepted. But, the people that we hang around with accept individuality.

So why bother?

It doesn't make you clever.

It just annoys people.

But then again, Tom thinks this certain person is too sexy for his/her clothes*

Bless the blind fool.

Speaking of blessing.

Religious racism is now a criminal offence I do believe, either that or they are trying to make it one.

So, if you think you slagging off Chrisians is cool, think again. It's horrid, but then again I thought that to begin with. Which is strange, because apparently you are religious yourself.

Paganism, by the way, is a religion. And I don't know much about it, but surely Pagans are taught to respect other religions. And if not, they should be.

So now I'm bored. I'm going to go play with traffic.

You're days are numbered, Mr Bond.

*Tom wasn't being serious. He has taste.... Never mind.

About my day, so far...

2005-06-06T11:19:00.000+01:00

Two ladies who appreciate a hard-working drug dealer decide to come and hang out with you for a while.
Yes my Bitches. I have myself two whores!

Downtown;
New area labs are producing cheap acid.

*Buys Acid*

Bought for 193
Sold for 3994.

Just a little profit made.
*sniggers*

You were mugged at a stop light.
Grrr. Must buy gun.

Buys pistol for 3000.

Funds: 16764

Sells last of acid for 3750.

Funds: 35514

Two ladies who appreciate a hard-working drug dealer decide to come and hang out with you for a while.
Four whores.

Sell two for 6159 each.

Funds: 47832

Two ladies who appreciate a hard-working drug dealer decide to come and hang out with you for a while.
These bitches just won't quit.

Tijuana;
The Cops are after you.
You attempt to run.
You got shot in the ass.

Hollywood;
The Cops are after you.
You chose to fight.
Wow! Nice shot!
Looks like bacon for breakfast.

The Cops are after you.
You attempt to run.
You got shot in the ass.
GAME OVER.

WHAT???

Shit happens and I am EXTREMELY angry with you

2005-06-03T14:53:00.000+01:00

I really hate some people who are just weak. People who don't fight their own battles. I've got nothing against people who don't actually retaliate when something is done to them first, those people are strong people. I am not one of those people. I retaliate because that's what I was taught. We're all irrational bitches in our family.

But people who start something themselves and then when they are confronted about it, they don't justify what they have done. People like that are weak. Weak beyond belief.

You make my brain boil. And not in a good way.

It's been such a fucking wicked day. We went to Ikea. The best place on earth to buy cheap crap that doesn't just look cheap, feel cheap and smell cheap, they taste cheap too! Not that I went around licking all of the furniture I saw there. That would just be not normal.

I bought stuff though. Candles mainly. Because they didn't smell that cheap. Vanilla and coconut.

So you want to move back to Suffolk to become a Clown, eh? Don't let the door hit you on the face on your way out. Actually, do. It might be interesting viewing for the men in black.

Oh golly. You know what I just remembered. Our film! We were going to make a film about something.
Honest to God I don't remember what though.

Maybe I should write some poetry now.

I call this one, Under my umbrella.

Under my umbrella I am always dry.
Until it gets a hole.

That is copyright, bitches. Now I know how very amazing it is, but you just cannot take it and use it for your own. It's a part of me. My phlegm, scum and bruises went into writting that, so think twice, autopilot may kill more people than it actually harms.

Just call me Nancy and watch me fly through the sky like a wet balloon on springs.

On recieving this award I would just like to say a big thank you to all the people who helped me to become the person that is me. This is for you, me.

No matter what you think, or do, or say, everything turns grey.

Oh gosh, that is just, like, so fung shui

2005-05-31T16:22:00.000+01:00

I went bedroom furniture shopping. A new chest of drawers and bedside tables are on their way on the 14th. I am hopefully getting my floor put down tomorrow, and the shelves on friday, so hopefully my room should be getting it's arse together sometime soon.
I suppose I do apologise for the slagging off of Laura, Harriet. Since you mention it, it is rather childish to stoop as low as she did and slag off former friends on the internet. It wouldn't of course be the first time, I remember a certain insident on CC where Laura was slagging others off from school, and that is just not nice.
So I shall not stoop to that level again.
For a while.

I watched 24 hour party people last night. Steve Coogan is a funny man.

I smell Vanilla. Are you burning?

Wimp. Now I am one of you. But I can't speak your language.

The poetry that flows through my veins is errupting in mucus. Come and eat my snot! Be a part of the poetry world!

Nike TM's. Burberry please. And can you beat me now, it'll save the chav's a job.

We're S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G..... We're shopping!

The Burberry Bashers are coming your way, President Bush.

Signing off now, kiss my arse.
xxx

I think I'm cured. In fact, I'm sure. Thank you stranger, for you're therapeutic smile

2005-05-27T15:53:00.000+01:00

I'm light headed and I can't feel my toes.
What a wonderful day!

I've been varnishing. This oak colour onto my shelves for my walls, and accidentally over most of my walls. Another paint job I do believe, Mr Washington.

I had my psychology exam yesterday. The most Bitchy exam ever. And I would like to say that I think I passed, and I do, but I think it was a bit too easy, so I think I failed.

Damn kids next door keep losing cricket balls in our garden. Like I have nothing better to do than keep leaving my fumey room to venture into the great outdoors (back garden) and collect their stupid cricket balls.

I've got mass amounts of varnish on a brand new pair of jeans (bought yesterday). They cost £57, and now are, I suppose, unique.

I want a lover I don't have to love.

Stop it. Stop it. Just stop it.

Feeling to toes has returned. They are itchy. I got told off this morning for chewing them. I suppose it's not pleasant.

I just heard a song by the big eyebrow boy from busted. You know what, why don't they just stick to what they are good at? Carving clogs from lamposts, or whatever it was they became famous for.

Opinion mind. Anyone who likes them, take no offence.

Don't you love it when people say
'No offence'
Because they so obviously mean
'Take offence from whatever I am about to say you ugly trollop.'

It's funny cos thats what I mean when I say no offence.
Totally no offence though.

My head itches, I think I have fleas.

Just call me Calgone, and now i'm off to join the circus.
TTFN
Thump that fucking Nanny
xxx

I'll shoot the next pigeon that flies past my window. All, of course, for sport!

2005-05-25T01:19:00.000+01:00

My head is aching and my mind is totally wrecked.
Actually I'm pretty damned amazing today.
Although I did pretty much nothing. I went to school for some psychology revision. But thats about it. My General exams went ok, yesterday. They were pretty easy, although I probably failed. Not that I really care, of course.
I got my new bed today, although I can't sleep on it until my floor are put down in my room.
Which will hopefully be next week.
I've not got much to say. and I hope my worldly sense of amazingly funny humour returns some time soon.
I remembered my epiphany (??). It was something to do with a job, was it not? But again I think it's slipped my mind. Curses. This is why I'm gonna fail my exams. I can just about remember how to spell my name.
Jesus.
Not really. Thats a stage name.
Like Elton John.
Shakin' Stevens.
And Michael Jackson.

Why does everyone have to be so fucking pissy all the time?
I mean, seriously, how annoying is it to hear someone complaining about their life, when what they are complaining about is not even worth it?
And then when you try to help them, they throw the help straight back in your face.
And for once I'm not even talking about Laura.
It's really stupid.
Do you not think that other people have been through a hell of alot of worse things than what you are going through now?
And sure, some of them are pretty damn idiotic and try to do drastic things, but then most people learn to cope. And they don't throw help back in other peoples faces.

I don't feel like this now, and thanks to you I've gone from being in a pretty good mood to being in a pretty shitty one. I do hope you are happy with yourself.

Thinking back actually, most of that could be for Laura too. Seriously? Dude? Get over yourself. Nobody is bullying you. Nobody ever was. Personally I've been through worse things in my life than loosing a few friends, especially for things that I did wrong.
Did I start a blog and start slagging them all off?
Did I try to write in a poetic manner that made me look like a fucking nonse?
No I bloody well didn't.
But didn't I go through a hell of a more traumatic experience than you have been through?
I'd say so, yeah.
So fucking get over yourself.
What do you think the world revolves around you?
Think again.

You mean to say I can't fly?

2005-05-22T17:44:00.000+01:00

I hurt my back today. It really hurts. I dunno why. I was just walking and whamo. I'm in pain.

I'll live. I've got my General Studies exam tomorrow.

Woo-Bloody-Hoo.

Seriously my back hurts.

I've been putting up my psychology posters today, in between whincing in like, total agony.

Haha.

Doesn't hurt that bad.

I went to see my brother yesterday. He gave me his old phone to give to Rachel.

It rained horribly yesterday when we were in Brighton, chucked it down.

Me and Paul looked like a couple of drowned rats. Hannah was perfectly preserved, however, what with having a coat with a hood and an umbrella.

My room is finished now. I'm getting my bed on tuesday but i can't put it in my room until I get my floors done.

I've lost all of my sarcastic witt (that I believe that I have) because of the pain in my back. I hope it's gone for tomorrow. How sucky would it be to be in pain during an already painful exam?

And I'm cold.

What a shit day.

Especially because the F1 didn't turn out quit how I'd like it, with Trulli 1st, Alonso 2nd and Michael Schumacher quiting from the racing world all together, but hey, we can't have everything, and if we did we'd be spoilt, greedy and smelly, like bisexuals without all the sugar.

Nothing, of course, against Bisexuals. Lovely people. Honestly. Now Lesbians in denial.... Lets not get into that.

Just like Michael Parkinson, I too love the smell of Latex in the morning.

This is Michaela Rourke.
Peace out my Bitches.

Now all that is out of my system...

2005-05-19T16:42:00.000+01:00

I'm glad I have that whole 'I hate *you know who*' out of my system. For the moment.
I can't get into school for the psychology afternoons because my nan is working, so I'm having to revise at home. I have exams on monday and thursday next week, and a Graphics exam on the 7th.
I think the only one I'm remotely bothered about was Art and that was a ages ago and went crap, so now I'm screwed. I wouldn't mind doing half well in Psychology though.
Oh well. Who really cares if I don't? What am I going to do in my life that involves psychology?
I had an epiphany *??How the hell do you spell that??* the other day. An absolutely brilliant idea of what I can do with my future that does not involve being a tattoo artist, Piercer, or anything to do with Psychology. But I seem to have forgotten it. Bugger.
I wouldn'y mind being a piercer I suppose.
Tom says if I get a tattoo it'll turn me into a bloke or something.
Or if I get anymore piercings for that matter.
What does he care?
Oh yeah I forgot, He's going to be my only friend at this rate, so I better keep him sweet. Wasn't that how it went? Something like that.
I'm alot better now I've got over my little cold. And the month of migraines. And of course that little thing where I passed out and fell down the stairs.
But then again the migraines always come back when I'm at school. I don't think it's tension or stres or whatever. School doesn't stress me.
People stress me.
School doesn't.
Which reminds me I should put up those posters I made for Psychology revision.
And another thing. I saw the best T-shirt the other day that I wanted to buy. It said Pop Princess on the front. And it was pink.
I didn't get it. I'm not a fan of pink. I wouldn't have worn it
I would in black, or blue. Or brown. Or possibly red or grey. But not pink.
And another one I saw at the same time read
'I don't ask to be the princess but if the crown fits...'
I'd love to design t-shirts.
I'd so make my own. And be like the best person like ever. I'd have an array of Pop princess t-shirts. In glitter, of course.
I'm not really in a good mood today. Not that it matters telling you because you can't do anything about it, except accept the things i say with a GODDAMN SMILE.
:)
There we go. Happy Happy Joy Joy.
Crap.
Oh and I so know what I want for my birthday already *november 21st (I'll be 18)*
I want 2 Beret's. One black. One raspberry. Not because of the song.
And I want something else that I don't remember what it is.
Curse this shit memory of mine.
I wanna go to the sea life centre too. How wonderful. They have a penny press. Although it costs more than a penny. 51p I do believe. RIP OFF!
I wouldn't mind a few things from Jeremy Hoye either. But thats a bit expencive.
I wouldn't mind a new tongue bar. Or nose studs. Or maybe even a nose ring. Very small one. Just to spite my brother.
I'm talking way too much aren't I?
You know what I wanna see. Bum Fights. There are like 3. But I wouldn't want to buy as it as I may not agree with it. It's a bit mean. But I'm curious.
So like I'm cold now.
Bye Bye

What a Hoe!

2005-05-17T12:22:00.000+01:00

I've been painting my room!

YAY!

It's like chocolate and walnut. Looks really yummy.

Well I do believe that Laura has got rid of her blog.

What a shame-diddly-ame!

I've got all the mean things she said about us on my school account though, so if i can print those out when we are back at school we have a copy of it all.

How childish of her to delete it, and, for that matter, not to respond to all the things we said in it. I would have responded. It's the least she could do after putting me in her Hell list. I guess I am just the worstest ever person in the whole entire world.

I feel bad.

LIAR!

I feel great.

Cept i have a cold.

So I actually feel pretty wank.

But in, of course, a good way.

YAY.

Exam on Monday.

Crap.

I hear Laura looked totally rough yesterday during her general exam.

Oh deary deary me.

And Now To Heaven

2005-05-12T12:15:00.000+01:00

So now I think I shall make a heaven list. For wonderful people to pass beyond the golden gates in the clouds.

1. Donna Amanda Guyer because she just rocks
2. Rachel And Emily Because they equally deserve to go to heaven
3. Tom Fuller because he has his moments
4. Other FRIENDS (NOT LAURA SQUIRES)
5. People Who Can Fly
6. People Who Can't Fly (WHO AREN'T LAURA SQUIRES)
7. People Who Are Religious (NOT LAURA SQUIRES)
8. People who aren't religious (NOT LAURA SQUIRES)
9. Apples
10. Sour Apples
11. All Apples
12. Beetroot
13. People Who Have No Eyes

If You Are Reading This I probably Hate You...

2005-05-12T11:40:00.000+01:00

Right. Let Me Introduce Myself.

I would start with my name but I don't remember it.

I HATE it when people are crap. Y'know?
Like When They Suck Like Totally Beyond Belief.
I swear any other posts I will make will be about things, and I so will mention names, because LAURA SQUIRES sent me to hell.
That means nothing to you, right?'
Well LAURA SQUIRES has been writing about me and a friend on HER blog. Slagging us off mainly. Apparently I am like the worst person in the world to her. As if.
And Jesus was not a bad man!
What is your beef with religion?
What the hell are you? Pagan? Is that not a religion?
And how can you hate people you have never met before?
And that counts for someone else too. I still like you, but how the hell can you hate Wayne Rooney's Girlfriend?
Do you even know her?

Back to the religion thing for just a second. If you are going to be a religious person, no matter what the fucking religion is, you should learn to respect other people and their religions, because that is one of the main teachings in many religions, and is just common sense.
Do you want even more people to hate you?

Welcome To MY Hell

2005-05-12T11:36:00.000+01:00

People Who Lie About Being Lesbians
Circle I Limbo

People Who Lie
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

People Who Backstab
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People Who Are Lazy
Circle IV Rolling Weights

People Who Flatter Themselves By Thinking People Actually Would WANT To Talk About Them All The Time. As If!
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People Who Are Prejudice Towards Religion
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

People Who Copy
Circle VII Burning Sands

People Who Create Hell Things In A Stupid Attempt To Make Themselves Feel Better About The Fact That They Are Crap
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

People Who Slag People Off On The Internet
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell