Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven. Fucking in heaven. Fucking in heaven.

Today has been a pretty uneventful day. I’ve done… nothing. Oh, and I’ve done it in my prom heels, because I need to get used to them, or some shit. They’re pink satiny things. Very posh. Very uncomfortable. Very much squeezing the living death out of my toes whilst I wonder around the house, looking for scraps of veg to feed my lizard.

Yesterday was similar, but without the heels.

George told me the other day that I HAD to see at least the first half of Date Movie, because it’s ‘funny’, and that is apparently the funniest part. I have now seen the first 35 minutes of it, and if I’d paid money to see that in the cinema, I’d have walked out and demanded it back. It was shite. Stupidly unfunny and predictable.

But I did watch something good today. Mars Attacks! It’s been a while, but I love that film.

And also I watched some old Bill Bailey stuff I had on video. I like Bill Bailey. Funny old hairy man.

‘Ok you got 48 hours to do some crime related stuff and then your ass is in a sling all right? And my ass is similarly in a catapult type devise. I’ve got the DA on my back, He’s chewing away on the back of my neck there, nibbling away at the back of my legs. He’s got the Mayor nibbling away at his ass, chewing his face of with… big chewing things. And he’s got the senator riding the back of a giant slug, and the slug’s nibbling away at the Mayor’s ass, who’s screaming out in pain, and lighting a fire under the DA’s ass, and the DA’s lighting a fire under my ass, which is great, ‘cos it’ll burn the sling away, so temporarily I’m off the hook, but after that you my friend, your ass will be put into a giant sling shot type devise and hurled into space. It’ll be like Haley’s comet orbiting the earth, you’ll see your ass once every 76 years. You get one chance of a shit every 76 years, and if you don’t take it, your whole body fills up with shit and faecal products and then shit will fly out of your eyes and you’ll die.’

See, funny!

So yeah. I’ve got to put my computer desk together tomorrow. I swore I would. It’s been sitting out in the garage in pieces for… weeks now. I don’t want Nana to do it ‘cos she’ll make a hash of it, and I do need one, ‘cos this one is wank and broken, and I need to prop the Keyboard draw thing up on my knees, because it doesn’t push in anymore.

Ha-ha, these shoes make my feet look minute! Crazy. My feet are small as it is.

I’m Listening to MC Solaar. He’s a French Rapper. Mental, eh? I like this track;
‘La Belle Et La Bad Boy’
I hate rap music, but French music always has a good beat to it, like Air, Daft Punk, KYO and Stereo Total, and this has that beat there, and it’s French, which is mental.

Morrissey is class.

I don’t know what else to say. I’ll be going now, ‘cos I’m feeling sick to me ‘ead, innit.

Bye Bye
xxx

You've got a personality, yeah, just like a bucket full of pee. How does it feel to be real, Asshole?

Ok. It's 8.19 am on a Saturday. what is wrong with me? Why am I awake? More to the point, why did I wake up at 5.40? My head is killing me.

So I figured I'll come and write a little entry to pass some time before I have to go to work on my Art. And because words aren't as fun as pictures, this'll be yet another photo entry, beause I like them the best!

This is my companion for this entry, Emmie. If you click on it and get the bigger image, you can see my clock (blue cube thing) reads 8.10. Yes, 8.10 am on a Saturday morning. Emmie is a bit of a chav. She hates my music, and after this photo was taken, she turned away from me in dusgust because I turned my music back on. The last ten songs I listened to were...
1) Vietnamese Baby - New York Dolls
2) Kringle - Jack Off Jill
3) Asshole - Gene Simmons
4) Dress - PJ Harvey
5) Subject To Change - The Faith
6) Lava Twilight - InMe
7) I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
8) Gluey Porch Treatment - The Melvins
9) Molly's Lips - The Vaselines
10) I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco

I don't know why I'm not more ashamed by numbers 6, 7 and 10. Oh, and number 3. iTunes is on shuffle, and weirdly, is playing all the songs that remind me of two summers ago, playing N64 all day, listening to InMe, Atreyu and my mix CD. Maybe it's not on shuffle. Maybe it's playing my mix CD.

I'm going back to my roots!
Kirsty asked me the other day when I was going to post a picture of my tattoo. Well here it is. It's blurry, yes, but I blame that on my crappy phone camera, and it's hard to take a picture of ones collar bone perfectly without being able to see the screen. Thinking back, I could have taken it infront of a mirror, but at the time, I couldn't be bothered.

Woo! Consequence - The Butterfly Effect.
My Mix CD must be playing. This song is really good.

Oh, to add a little to the tattoo thing, it's itchy today.
This is the finished product! My art exam. 12 hours of work. It's alright, I guess. Parts of it look quite good, but others are really weak, because I was getting tired. Wadders says it's one of the best paintings he's seen from me, which I guess is good, as an exam piece, but since I don't like it, and I like some of my other works, that's a bit of a... something.

Oh God, I can't believe I ever listened to Soil and found them remotely bareable.

Woo! Atreyu!

It's Pennywise! The clown from my childhood nightmares!

I saw Steven King's It by accident when I was very young, looking for my 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' Video, and remembering it being marked with something else. This film scared the bejebus out of me. Since then, I've been afraid of clowns.
On the other hand, this was one of my favourite films when I was widdle. Nightmare before christmas (that and beetlejuice, which scared me, but I loved at the same time). I dressed up as Sally one Halloween (the halloween after the one where I dressed as Jesus :p) and the only person who knew who I was was the weird kid down the road who smelt of piss and picked his nose. Now it woudn't bother me who knew who I was, but at the time I was annoyed, because my mum spent ages on the costume. I had an illustrated book. I don't think it was pop-up, but it may have been (though maybe I'm mixing that up with my pop-up 'nights of the round table' book... somehow)
My other favourite movie of my childhood was Peter Pan (mainly because of Tink). It's such a cool film! Nobody ever feels the same, though. I understand, he's a child in tights, trying to escape capture from an elderly pirate, who lost a hand to a crocodile, and now brandishes a, rather sinister, hook. But so? He could fly! Nuff said.

in other news, I'm now going to write an excerpt from a book I'm reading. This made me laugh, especialy since the book is quite sinister and a bit... weird.

"That's a bonny tie, Iain."
"Do you like it? My Mother gave it to me before she died. "Iain," she said, "this tie was your Daddy's. Before that it was his Daddy's and his Daddy's before him. Where he got it from I'm not sure. Won it in a game of cards, likely. It's our only heirloom. Treasure it, Son." And then she passed away. Do you really like it?"
"It's a cracker. I've never seen such a smart item."
"Yours for a fiver, then."

From The Cutting Room by Louise Welsh.

As I was saying, this book is really weird. Rilke, the main character, is an auctioneer type person. He's commissioned to empty a house in a week and auction off all the goods. But in the attic he finds a little pervert lair, type thing. The man who lived there has a bookcase full of erotic fiction, and Rilke also finds some snuff porn pictures, where a girl 'dies'. Rilke feels it's his responsibility to find out who that girl is, and find out if the photos are genuine or not. It's weird, and there's some quite graphic parts in it. I mean, it's not a bad book at all. Rather good, actually. Compelling reading. Makes a change from Phillipa Gregory, who I've been reading recently. I've still got one to finish and give back to Rachel's Mum, but I want to finish this first.

Rilke's just gone to a 'friends' bookshop. Steenie. Steenie tried to kill Rilke. Wonderful. The floor of the crows nest type place where Steenie took him to (and attempted but failed to throw him down the stairs of) is littered with pages of books saying that homosexuality is wrong. There was a part about lesbians and all the words to describe them, which kind of makes you giggle a little bit. Rilke, himself, is gay.

Yeah, it's a weird book. Very sort of... sexuality orientated. There's a transvestite type person. It's set in Scotland. There's a girl with HIV. The lot. Everyone does drugs and/or is an alcoholic. It's a very busy book, and all of his friends seem to know something about the owner of the photos, which is a bit of a coincidence.

Now I'm tired, and think I may be able to get an hours sleep in before I start work on my art prep, which has to be in on Monday.

Goodbye.

Sorry for the ramblings.

Have a nice day.

xxx

I just get a bit scared, every now, I hope I made you proud

Ok, I will say this once, and once only (or maybe a few more times than once) The Streets new album 'The Hardest Way to Make An Easy Living' Is fucking... good. I mean, not as good as 'A Grand Don't Come For Free' but it has some strong tracks on it, and although I liked the story idea of AGDCFF, It's very good. And it was brave to even attempt to top AGDCFF, so well done, Mike. It's class.

And also, my tattoo is gooood. It's all... black and bruised. It feels like my skin is all crispy, like it's been burnt or something. It's weird. I guess it'll peel soon. I'm pleased with it, though. And I got to watch The Office as he did it, so I shall not complain.

I finished getting all the bits for my prom dress :s I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the prom. It's going to be... weird. I don't understand why we couldn't have our own little private party, with GOOD music and friends. Ok, fair enough, we get to sit on a table all together, all happy and whatnot, but y'know. It's so not my thing. But I guess I'[ll be happy if they play Billie Piper or Friday Hill. God, Kenzie is so HARDCORE.

Margeret Thatcher just accepted me on MySpace. I'm so PLEASED. The Queen denied, though, which makes me sad.

'The differences in language, are just the bits you got wrong, 'cos we were the ones who invented the language.'

This has so far been a bit of a shite entry. Robyn went for her interview at Colchester this afternoon. I hope it went OK. I hope she gets in. I know she really wants to. I wonder what I'm going to do after schools finished... Maybe I'll get a job. Or maybe I'll roam the streets looking for money.

Sobek's trying to climb up the side of the glass of his Viv... weird. I've got money to buy a bigger one, but I keep forgetting to ask Nan to drive up there. I think she'd like a bigger one, I can get her lots of new stuffs. Like... plants.

I feel like watching Mars Attacks tonight. But I also want to watch Goldmember because Jay put the music to it on earlier.

I bought Moulin Rouge the other day from Amazon. I also bought Takk by Sigur Ros, which is playing in the car. I liked Moulin Rouge, but I think Ewan McGregor has done better films.

Oooh. Tomorrow is the art exam. I'm not looking forward to 4 hours of silence, but I guess it has to be done. It's actually not just tomorrow, but the rest of the week. FUN! At least I know what to do, after going to see Wadders during period 5 and telling him I was still really unsure about the whole exam.

Oh well. Everything will be alright on the night, Joe.

I watched Never Mind The Buzzcocks last night. Bill Bailey is funny, as is Phil Jupitus. Sonia from Easteders was on, too. I remember a month or so ago, Kenzie was on, and he said he couldn't sing, and they all started singing Flip/Reverse. That was funny. Blazin' Squad are coo'*.They're bringing out new material in the summer. Only 4 of them left, though, so they aren't really a squad, more like a little cluster. Perhaps they should change their name to Blazin' Cluster, or Blazin' Crowd.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs just came on. My favourite song by them. No No No. They're coo'**. It's been a while since I listened to them. I'm going to buy their new album.

You know who else I like? Kylie. She's mental and brilliant, all smooshed up in one little package.

I'm dead tired. We've just had two weeks off, and I got so used to sleeping that I feel so tired and achy. Bleugh.

I really like the Popworld advert on tv with Alex Zane and Alexa (?). They jump alot. I liked popworld, Simon Amstell is fecking class, such a bastard. So funny.

Anyway. George and I had lollies shaped like eyes earlier. She cut her tongue and I cut my gum. Also, my bottom right wisdom tooth is pushing through. It's weird. they started pushing through when I was about ten, but every so often, that one just decides to shoot through. It's the only one I'm waiting for, I've got the others. It hurts.

The Opera House - Olivia Tremor Control just came on.

Ok, I'm off now. I need some sleep and relaxation.

Goodbye (Does anyone remember how to say this is German? Or Know it in any other languages?)

Love, Donna. xxx

* Billie Piper reference.
** Billie Piper reference the second

Don't hate me 'cuz you aint me

AOL is being weird today. It's running slow, and Messenger keeps cutting out on me, so I give up. I'm leaving t'internet after I've written this wee post.

So tomorrow is tattoo day (I think). I'm nervous, but no more than I was with any of my piercings, which is weird, because obviously it's a bit more... permanent than a piercing.

I'm listening to HIM. I know, I should be shot. Goth metal hath becometh me... Or something. I have like, 5 of their albums from my olden days of HIM lovin' and Ville Valo worship (Let's ignore the fact that that was 3 years ago and I do have their newest album) now I like the guy with the dreads. He's pure hardcore. I do read an interview with Vile the other week/month, though. He is dead funny still. A good friend of Bam Margera, who is also truly funny. Very amusing people.

I also read an interview in me old metal hammer this month with two of the guys from Atreyu (nobody knows this band cept me and a few choice people, but I like 'em) and they're dead funny. I bet the mag'll have some complaints in the letter section next month about their 'arrogance', but to me, arrogance is funny.

Enough of my music updates.

So yeah, I've been getting on with me old art homeworks and catch ups and what nots. I hate it. The more I do, the more I seem to have left. It's dreadful. How does that even work?

And I also need to have a speaky with Art Teacher Man about the exam, which is Wednesday.

Back to school on Tuesday. I'm stupidly looking forward to it, and to showing off my tat. I'm going to be so proud, it'll probably be all scabby or peeling, but hoo-ha, I don't care. It's like a right of passage. Everyone should get one when they turn 18. Well, maybe not everyone.

I've got the news on silent in the background (i.e pictures) and I swear I just saw a skeleton walk across the screen. Weird.

I think Sobek hates me at the moment. I'm not sure why. She's got more privileges than usual. she's out and running around all day, instead of just after I get home, and she gets tonnes of attention when she wants it, but I went to pick her up an hour ago and she backed away from me. And then she licked me, as if I were someone new to her. Weird girl. She's probably just over a foot and t'half, including her tail. She's a doll, a right stunner.

In other Donna related news, I've not had time to do any of the 6 essays I owe Sally. She never seems to mind, but she hits you with the guilt thing;
'Oh, they're not for my benefit, but your own. If you don't want to do them, don't do them.'
Which, in turn makes you want to do them. I did kind of promise to do the last one, but I can't even remember the title. I did do the first one on schizophrenia. I haven't got it back yet, though, so I dunno if my essay writing skills have improved or what.

And Rachel has us a make-up artisty person to do our make-up for the prom. I hate this. It's becoming so REAL. I'm wearing a goddamn dress.

We are like the living dead. Craving for deliverance. With a frozen heart and a soul on fire.

I'm sorry for bursting into song. It's been three years and I still know all the words. Tragic, isn't it?

I don't know if I wrote this is my other entry, but I washed my phone by accident. My new one. My Motorola V3i thing. It was in my jeans pocket when I put them in the wash, and I totally forgot until I couldn't find my phone the next day, and I hunted everywhere. Good thing, though, it's fine. It was still ON when it came out.

Which reminds me, I may send off my old Sony Ericsson to get the screen fixed in the hopes that I can get the old photos off of it, and maybe even my old phone numbers. There are people I can't get hold of to get their numbers, because I don't have their numbers. Who'da thunk it?

Damn Hippies.

The sacrament is you....

I'm finished now, promised.

Love you all, see you on Tuesday (If you go to my school and I know you).
Bye, xxx

I'm on fire, so stub me out.

I hate Bloc Party. I mean, I don't hate them, as such, I understand them, I get what they're doing, i appreciate good music, it's just, as a band, I would prefer to have my ears eaten by camels than have to put up with that racket. And yet, Bloc Party were everywhere last year, and they're still dead popular.

Same applies to Arctic Monkeys. They are annoying and obvious. No, their lyrics aren't all that good, but hey, what do I know, they got to #1, and about 99% of England was humming I Bet You Look Good On T'Dancefloor when it first came out, me included, but it doesn't make it good music. It just means it gets straight into your head and starts to nibble, repulsively, on your brain until you can't take it anymore, and you sing it just to make the brain nibbling stop.

Oh, and Green Day. God they are just BAD.

Anyway. Hello.

I've got some exciting news. Tattoo day is Saturday 15th. Butterfly is going on t'left shoulder. 11am. Whoot!

Oh, whilst I'm still thinking about music, I've got some new favourites. I'm really getting back into The Streets as I await their album release (tomorrow). If you, also, are a fan (few people I know actually are, but they totally rock my socks), you should check out the Professor Green remix of When You Wasn't Famous. It's very, very, very, very good. And if you like it, check out Stereotypical Man and Are They Rappin Like Pro by Professor Green. I think you can hear them on MySpace. Also, if you haven't already, check out Mike Skinner 'covering' Banquet (By Bloc Party). It's got none of the original lyrics of the shite song, but it's excitingly all about how he stole a microphone from Jo Whiley when he was on her radio show, and about not being able to pay his taxes. It's exciting.

Also, I'm sure I've mentioned how America is remaking OldBoy, my newest favourite horror/thriller/action movie straight from the ghetto (Korean ghetto, i guess). But I've just managed to get hold of a copy of a bollywood film called Zinda, which is an almost direct copy, but bollywood version. The problem is, the director is apparently being sued by the makers of the original. I've not got round to watching it yet, but it'll happen eventually.

I'm almost positive this entry is going nowhere, so I'm going to give up whilst I'm ahead.

I just hit 63 friends on MySpace. I know, 63 isn't a huge number, but it's a nice number to me. I plan to get into the 70's, and then I'm happy. I don't want thousands like lots of people have.

And yesterday Tom made me join his Chartclarity site (i think that's it). I was member #302. I told him I wanted to be member number 300, or I'll quit, so I quit. I don't plan to post, but I've verbalised my love for Blazin' Squad and Friday Hill.

Zane Lowe: Did you just spew? Mike Skinner from the streets just spewed on our show, I feel so good. This is so exciting, I've never had a celebrity spew on my show before, this is so cool.

UPDATE!!!

I don't remember how much I've verbalised my inability to figure out whether I like or loathe my new phone (motorola razr V3i), but I've just found one VERY positive thing about it.

It can survive a 60 degrees spin in the washing machine, followed by a good ol' tumble dry.

And in my books, that makes a phone.

Thank you, and goodnight.

When you're dealing with shite you don't use a teaspoon.

I'm singing Devendra Banhart. I just checked my messages on MySpace and for those of you who know, he is playing on my page.

Anyway.
'Donna!' I hear you cry! 'Donna! What have you in store for us for this entry?'
'Well. I'm going to rock your world in quite a gentle way.' I reply. 'Like a delicious cake, as opposed to a bag of drugs.'
I'd love to take credit for that little quote, but I can't. I'm almost positive that's from David O'Doherty. It's not as funny when It's not said. I was watching Paramount comedy last night. I watched South Park (Fingerbang was on!) then something called Edinburgh and Beyond (I think), then Jack Dee Live At The Apollo.

"You can't imagine a pirate going 'Aargh! I love cous-cous'"

Paul Foot was on. I like him. He did a double act with someone called Trevor Lock. I've seen Paul before. I can't remember where, but I remember laughing myself to sleep, or something.

Is it wrong that I've seen so much of Jimmy Carr that I'm actually finding his humor vaguely funny? God forbid!

I have a question which is awfully important. If you were to take molten metal (very hot, i imagine it'd be silver) and mixed it with tonnes and tonnes of jelly of the same heat, and let it set, what would happen?

Would you get wibbly wobbly metal? Or rock hard Jelly?

Also, I'd like to play around with those special proteins that reverse the cooking of an egg. That just sounds so random. I mean, imagine, uncooking an egg.

I watched Dogma this morning. It's a class film. Matt Damon (Loki) is dead funny, and I don't normally like him. And it's the only film I can stand with Ben Affleck (bartleby). Chris Rock is class, though. As is Alanis Morissette as God.

Emmie is going in today to have her stitches out. She's all 'delicate' apparently. Tell her that. Today she's full of Banana! She's one with the board! (Private joke, unfortunately).

I can't believe i'm watching daytime television. They've got a boy on tv who had a stutter. I imagine that'd be quite difficult to live with. I have no speech impediments and I can barely work a sentence.

We're going to Colchester tomorrow to hopefully book an appointment for my tattoo. I'd like to get it done by the prom, cos it'll look cool, but I'll have to hide it from Nan, as I have no intentions of telling her I'm getting it. It'll be on my collar bone, or just under it, on my left side.

I've been watching a lot of Black books lately. Dylan Moran is a fucking legend. Always makes me laugh.I've got his first Monster tour on DVD and I may watch that today. I love the Irish.

So what can I say? We're off school for two weeks. I plan to sleep alot, and try to get all of the art work done that I need to. I know I shouldn't leave it 'til the last minute or whatever, but I just can't be bothered. Art is getting so... bleugh. I have, however, finished off my trainspotting pic, which I'm going to photograph and put on DA, because it doesn't actually look all that bad (believe it or not).

And I ahve a new computer desk (I've actually had it for about a month, I'm just too lazy to put it together), so one day this week I shall turn into DIY Donna and put it all together, which is good, because this one is broken. The sliding keyboard thing is broken, and juts out all the time. Which means when I wake at 3am needing the toilet, I walk straight into it, which fecking hurts.

Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it - Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you. "

I love this quote from Dogma. It's clever. If you ignore the fact that Lewis Carroll was very religious.

IF you don't know the Poem 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' it's here;
http://plagiarist.com/poetry/1770/
It's weird.

Bartleby: Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.

Enough is enough.

In the next installment I shall be quoting Trainspotting, because I'm pretty sure I've done Dogma before, and Trainspotting is my favourite film.

Now I'm listening to Agent Orange. Hardcore!

Anyway, I'll leave you now. Thank you for listening/reading.

I love you, ALL!

Love Donna
xxx